What did this man need that he didn't have?

[Audley Strange]

He could have clubbed them to death with a copy of "Atlas Shrugged."

[Seth]

A nuke.

Pocket nuke? Suicidal overkill ya?

[Bella Fortuna]

A cuke.

[fishie]

A nuke.

Hehehe!
Nah, really he just needs a diversion, some bait to attract the dogs.
Seth maybe ?

[Xamonas Chegwé]

It would take a pretty incredible shot to be able to shoot into a roiling mass of five dogs ripping at a kid... and not hit the kid. And, even a crack marksman would be fucking reckless to try it. A baseball bat would be far more useful in that circumstance.

[Seth]

It would take a pretty incredible shot to be able to shoot into a roiling mass of five dogs ripping at a kid... and not hit the kid. And, even a crack marksman would be fucking reckless to try it. A baseball bat would be far more useful in that circumstance.

Here are the instructions: Draw pistol. Place muzzle of pistol against dog's body or head but not pointed at self. Release safety. Pull trigger. Repeat four more times. A child could do it.

By the way, the "kid" was 25 years old. Derp!

[piscator]

He needed love. But he could have used peanut butter.

[Sean Hayden]

[mistermack]

Seth could be right.
I think I'm going to start carrying a gun, just in case I come across someone being attacked by five pit bulls.
Although I doubt if I'll come across that, more than once a day.

Come to think of it, I've NEVER come across anyone being attacked by five pit bulls.
Come to think of it, I've never come across anyone being attacked by one dog, of any breed.
Come to think of it, the gun might get me into trouble. I might doze off one day, and someone might take it and shoot me with it..
Come to think of it, there's more chance of an accident with the gun, than coming across someone being attacked by any number of pit bulls.
Come to think of it, it was a fucking stupid idea.

[Trinity]

A lady dog, cartoon style, with boobs, lipstick and a ribbon.

[Seth]

Seth could be right.
I think I'm going to start carrying a gun, just in case I come across someone being attacked by five pit bulls.
Although I doubt if I'll come across that, more than once a day.

Come to think of it, I've NEVER come across anyone being attacked by five pit bulls.
Come to think of it, I've never come across anyone being attacked by one dog, of any breed.
Come to think of it, the gun might get me into trouble. I might doze off one day, and someone might take it and shoot me with it..
Come to think of it, there's more chance of an accident with the gun, than coming across someone being attacked by any number of pit bulls.
Come to think of it, it was a fucking stupid idea.

For you, yes, absolutely it's a stupid idea because you demonstrate an incapacity to safely possess a gun.

That incapacity is hardly universal...or even widespread.

[Seth]

A lady dog, cartoon style, with boobs, lipstick and a ribbon.

A beaker full of female-in-heat bitch urine. Pull cork, throw beaker, run like hell the other way.

[Clinton Huxley]

Given that it is much more likely that I'll happen upon a house fire than a mad-dog attack, I should probably carry a fire extinguisher around with me. But then, I live near a lot of canals and someone might fall in. I'll carry a life-ring and rope. Damn it, there are a also a lot of a) cats and b) trees. Ladder, that's the ticket. In fact,there are so many potential problems, all of them much more likely than a gun-resolvable mad-dog attack, that I think I'm going to have to buy a van to carry all my gear around in.

[JimC]

A group of friends who were much slower than him...

[klr]

A group of friends who were much slower than him...

That's the old two friends and the bear joke reworked.