A case for arranged marriage

[FBM]

Arranged marriages are still pretty much the norm here in Korea and in Japan, but marrying for love is becoming more common. Even so, the prospective bride or groom must pass muster (usually in financial terms) with the family or the parents will boycott the funeral wedding.

Arranging marriages is big business here. People pay to submit computerized profiles and the company suggests prospective partners. You can choose the ones you want to have a date with. If you hit it off, then you've got to get it approved by both families. If you buck the families' decision and get married anyway, you're pretty much out of the family, at least in terms of inheritance. They may or may not want to ever see you again, though.

With regards to the OP's report that 95% of arranged marriages don't divorce: Is divorce even legal where arranged marriages = forced marriage? If it's illegal or even heavily stigmatized, that statistic is meaningless, as an unknown number of people may WANT to get divorced, but can't.

[punter18]

I think you have to ask yourself what the point of marriage is.

Let's hear it from the people here, then. What REALLY is the purpose of marriage? I am about to be 24, and most of my friends in a few years' time will get married. Many of them already are. Though I am still unable to find a real reason behind marrying someone. It could stem from the fact that I consciously refused to get into a relationship with a girl in any point in my life. That's partly because I see my friends stressed over some issue or the other with their girl/boy friends.

Different purposes of marriage will offer different reasons for why compulsory marriage might have benefits.

And what would those purposes be? And benefits?

[punter18]

I think you have to ask yourself what the point of marriage is. Different purposes of marriage will offer different reasons for why compulsory marriage might have benefits.

'ere eet is all aboot perpetuating ze bludline.

Could you tell me how that works?

[punter18]

Initially I thought you were in the "pro" group. I take it you are not? Acted, scripted videos don't detract from the issue of an arranged marriage totally removing choice. I think it's an abhorrent practice.

I disagree... I suspect I'd be significantly happier if my family had arranged a marriage for me, since relationships, short or long term are not something I comes easy to me, and both cases where things got serious (well, one, I was the one thinking they were serious) ended up in life wrecking disaster.

So you trust your parents' judgement to be better than yours? Is this the best reason that you would prefer an arranged marriage?

[Thinking Aloud]

I think you have to ask yourself what the point of marriage is.

Let's hear it from the people here, then. What REALLY is the purpose of marriage?

My own hypothesis is that marriage came about as a security arrangement for the protection of one's progeny. It's a statement of commitment and a promise to the other partner and to any procreations thereof - a mutual agreement to nurture and foster another generation. Of course, with marrying for love, it also becomes a statement of commitment to the other person irrespective of kids - a declaration and promise that one cares enough for that other person that you're prepared to stake your life thereafter to their care and vice versa.

To that extent (as I see it), marriage is just a public declaration of having made that promise of commitment. Of course, it's symbolic, since one can commit to another without marriage, and conversely, one can ignore the symbolism and marry without any real sense of commitment or promise.

[Posse Comitatus]

SIGN ME UP

[Berthold]

There are actually some feminist writers who apparently find the idea of arranged marriage attractive.

From Schrödinger's rapist:

Pay attention to the environment. Look around. Are you in a dark alley? Then probably you ought not approach a woman and try to strike up a conversation. The same applies if you are alone with a woman in most public places. If the public place is a closed area (a subway car, an elevator, a bus), even a crowded one, you may not realize that the woman’s ability to flee in case of threat is limited. Ask yourself, “If I were dangerous, would this woman be safe in this space with me?” If the answer is no, then it isn’t appropriate to approach her.

On the other hand, if you are both at church accompanied by your mothers, who are lifelong best friends, the woman is as close as it comes to safe. That is to say, still not 100% safe. But the odds are pretty good.

(my emphasis)

[Horwood Beer-Master]

Initially I thought you were in the "pro" group. I take it you are not? Acted, scripted videos don't detract from the issue of an arranged marriage totally removing choice. I think it's an abhorrent practice.

I disagree... I suspect I'd be significantly happier if my family had arranged a marriage for me, since relationships, short or long term are not something I comes easy to me...

I have some sympathy towards this - especially as many arranged marriages are within families, and my cousin closest to me in age (second cousin once removed technically) is quite nice

Of course, I suspect she'd be somewhat less happy with such an "arrangement".

[JimC]

My marriage was arranged...

By Bron...

[Hermit]

I vote against castes.

Misspelling much? (hint: there's an 'h' in it somewhere...)

Chastes? I'm against them too because if I told one she had a beautiful body, she'd probably hold it against me.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

My marriage was arranged...

By Bron...

Ayaan had a similar experience.