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FBM
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by FBM » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:38 am
Run away! Run away!
Homeopathic leak threatens catastrophe
An accidental release of highly dilute homeopathic waste from a research institute in Swindon has led to calls for the centre to be shut down. Plant operators have admitted responsibility for massive safety blunders after a spilled drop of an enormously dilute test product was cleaned by a caretaker, and in complete disregard of all safety procedures, allowed to enter the water system after he emptied his mop bucket down the drain.
Institute staff have been cooperating with homeopathy regulatory safety officers and a team of engineers from Thames Water – working around the clock to minimise the risk of further dilution.
Still, the plant remains open – a spokesman claimed that their pioneering research into a cure for mild feelings of insecurity has reached a point that it must not be stopped. He then locked himself in his office and told reporters to leave him alone.
Local reaction has been mixed – many of course are living in fear – the latest advice has been for locals not to wash their vegetables before cooking. Some demand the plant be closed down. But others have taken a more pragmatic view, and accept that sometimes great advances in medical pseudoscience can come at a heavy price.
But everyone is in agreement that the emergency workers who came to the aid of the stricken plant yesterday are the true heroes. Some firefighers may have been exposed to dilutions as high as D8000 during the frantic race to prevent the atomic memory of the waste from reaching the Thames. Next to the Plant are seven abandoned Fire Engines – exposed to such dangerously low concentrations of homeopathic contamination that they can never be used again – they will eventually be entombed in concrete where they lie.
Local Fire Chief, Boutros-Boutros Jones gave a frank account of the current situation; ‘We have to accept that we’ve lost the battle locally, two water treatment works may never be safe to use again, but the fight to contain this and prevent further dilution is still on. Clearly if this reaches the sea, it’s game over.’
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/09/h ... tastrophe/
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
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Ian
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by Ian » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:40 am
I would have liked to read this article, but to be honest I spent a good minute or so just ogling your avatar.
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FBM
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by FBM » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:43 am
Ian wrote:I would have liked to read this article, but to be honest I spent a good minute or so just ogling your avatar.
*too busy watching my avatar to read your post*
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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Xamonas Chegwé
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by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:49 am
Is this the whole story? I doubt it! I expect the truth has been watered down to keep the public from panicking. I estimate that you would have to read this article 100 million times an hour, every hour for the next billion years to stand even a one-in-a-trillion chance of gleaning one word of truth from it! Bastits!

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FBM
- Ratz' first Gritizen.
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by FBM » Tue Sep 13, 2011 3:10 am
Au contraire! It gets more powerful with each reading!

"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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JimC
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by JimC » Tue Sep 13, 2011 3:39 am
And the scary thing is, the further you are away from this disaster, the worse the effects will be! Oz is in trouble!
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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FBM
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by FBM » Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:00 am
Ice-nine!!!! OMFG!!

"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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Xamonas Chegwé
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by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:48 am
JimC wrote:And the scary thing is, the further you are away from this disaster, the worse the effects will be! Oz is in trouble!
It might appear that way to a layman, but I can assure you that the worse the effects of the disaster, the lesser the actual impact. So much so that, even if Australia were to be completely obliterated by negligible exposure to a near infinite dilution of practically nothing, nobody living there would notice and the rest of us wouldn't give a shit.
I hope that clarifies things.

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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JimC
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by JimC » Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:45 am
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:JimC wrote:And the scary thing is, the further you are away from this disaster, the worse the effects will be! Oz is in trouble!
It might appear that way to a layman, but I can assure you that the worse the effects of the disaster, the lesser the actual impact. So much so that, even if Australia were to be completely obliterated by negligible exposure to a near infinite dilution of practically nothing, nobody living there would notice and the rest of us wouldn't give a shit.
I hope that clarifies things.

It is true that most of us here are too drunk to notice even total obliteration. Personally, I have lost count of the number of times I and everything around me has been obliterated by some sort of catastrophe or another.
I blame Seth and Gawd collectively for each and every such occurrence...
And Pensioner...

Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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by Magicziggy » Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:03 am
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:JimC wrote:And the scary thing is, the further you are away from this disaster, the worse the effects will be! Oz is in trouble!
It might appear that way to a layman, but I can assure you that the worse the effects of the disaster, the lesser the actual impact. So much so that, even if Australia were to be completely obliterated by negligible exposure to a near infinite dilution of practically nothing, nobody living there would notice and the rest of us wouldn't give a shit.
I hope that clarifies things.

I know this is aimed at me. It is a diluted form of personal attack and therefore I feel it far more powerfully than you can imagine.
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JimC
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by JimC » Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:33 am
Magicziggy wrote:Xamonas Chegwé wrote:JimC wrote:And the scary thing is, the further you are away from this disaster, the worse the effects will be! Oz is in trouble!
It might appear that way to a layman, but I can assure you that the worse the effects of the disaster, the lesser the actual impact. So much so that, even if Australia were to be completely obliterated by negligible exposure to a near infinite dilution of practically nothing, nobody living there would notice and the rest of us wouldn't give a shit.
I hope that clarifies things.

I know this is aimed at me. It is a diluted form of personal attack and therefore I feel it far more powerfully than you can imagine.

Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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Tigger
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by Tigger » Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:44 am
This thread is full of win.
Well, a soupçon here and there.
Seth wrote:Fuck that, I like opening Pandora's box and shoving my tool inside it
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Gawdzilla Sama
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by Gawdzilla Sama » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:29 am
Duly stolen.

Ein Ubootsoldat wrote:“Ich melde mich ab. Grüssen Sie bitte meine Kameraden.”
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by Pappa » Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:47 am
Gawdzilla wrote:Duly stolen.


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