my half assed review of Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

[Audley Strange]

Includes plot details!!!

Rise of the Planet of the Apes was really enjoyable despite itself. I'll hit my major complaints first. James Franco could have done with some of the CGI they used on the apes to enhance his performance from half bewildered half comatose poker faced object. His love interest Freida Pinto seems to have been added just to have a woman in the movie and really the rest of the cast are there to push on Caesar the Chimp's lust for Global domination.

That's a joke.

Andy Serkis was roped in to play Caesar with some havy CGI editing of course, much like with Gollum in Lord of the Rings and in this, like in LOTR and mostly anything he is ever in he steals the show, an incredible and often unappreciated actor. And it's him that is the emotional core of this movie. Despite the sub-plot with Franco trying to cure Alzheimer's with an engineered virus because his father is suffering from it which is obviously meant to be tragic. Yet Franco never seems to even crease his face at this familial trauma


So in short Caesar in an ape born of a mother who was given the virus that increases chimp intelligence. After his mother escapes and is shot dead,the baby chimp is taken home by Franco who raises it. There is a brilliant montage scene soon after which little Caesar is taken to the Redwoods to play in the trees and we watch his swinging from branches as the seasons change behind him. Five years pass and it would have been fine, except, it looked like Franco and Pinto had not even changed their clothes, let alone age a day. I may be wrong, I hope so.

Inevitably though things go bad. When Franco's arsehole neighbour acts like an arsehole and Caesar bites off his finger to protect Lithgow from being harrassed by said arsehole.

This lands him ninety days in the state chimp pen, run by Brian Cox who seems to play the same character in every Blockbuster he's been in for the last decade. It's here that man's inhumanity to ape is exposed to Caesar and he plots and schemes.

Long story short, Caesar escapes infects his fellow inmates with the virus and they go on a rampage. The rest of the movie is a brilliant set piece with apes going Daft on the Golden Gate Bridge and finally ecaping to freedom. The movie kind of just ends and as it does we are given hints that the virus isn't working on humans, it's fatal it's passed through blood and Arsehole neighbour gets infected just as it is revealed he's a pilot. Cue credits, cue big yellow line tracking disease vectors over the credits.


They could have made something more of that I'm sure, but nevertheless despite a lot of ropey things in this movie I really enjoyed it.

Go to the flicks if like me you really dig apes going nuts, otherwise rent or buy and save you the hassle of dealing with the rigmarole of going to the cinema.

[tattuchu]

Has James Franco ever been good in anything? It's sad when, as in this film, he's more lifeless than the not-real-life characters

p.s. Why does everyone hate the Tim Burton film so much? I'm not even a Tim Burton fan but I liked it lots

[Atheist-Lite]

It was classic junk Americana. I enjoyed it the way I enjoy junk food - not for the nutrition but the instant buzz. It was unrealistic to expect any kind of attempt at realistic story telling given the pulp sci-fi genre. It was designed for kids and dumb half-educated young adults. I endured it to the end but found leaving the cinema the best bit of this movie. Needless to say I won't be wasting any money on the DVD or T-shirt. I'd like to see some attempt at realistic story-telling in the sci-fi arena like there is in historical or war movies. And do believe it is possible to confront the full depth of the human condition in the sci-fi genre albeit unlikely in my lifetime, something like Planet of the Apes made with genuine human concern rather than suger-coated fake emotion. The movie was junk......

[Audley Strange]

I think because the original was in no way in need of Burton's "re-imagining" and thus it was seen as little more than a self indulgent exercise. Personally I found it laughable but different strokes etc..

[Audley Strange]

It was classic junk Americana. I enjoyed it the way I enjoy junk food - not for the nutrition but the instant buzz. It was unrealistic to expect any kind of attempt at realistic story telling given the pulp sci-fi genre. It was designed for kids and dumb half-educated young adults. I endured it to the end but found leaving the cinema the best bit of this movie. Needless to say I won't be wasting any money on the DVD or T-shirt. I'd like to see some attempt at realistic story-telling in the sci-fi arena like there is in historical or war movies. And do believe it is possible to confront the full depth of the human condition in the sci-fi genre albeit unlikely in my lifetime, something like Planet of the Apes made with genuine human concern rather than suger-coated fake emotion. The movie was junk......

There are quite a few, though they tend to be low budget numbers.

Sure it was junk, I can't think of any "blockbuster" that isn't.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

If I went to see it I'd just make a monkey of myself.

[Clinton Huxley]

Saw it on saturday and I enjoyed it. It was only about half as brainless as the usual summer tent-pole movie.

Seth won't like it though:-

Trigger Warning!!!1! :

The gun-less monkeys defeat the heavily tooled up cops

[FBM]

I watched it on a whim one night not long ago. I don't usually go for sci-fi that much these days, but I wanted something that would download quickly. It was good enough. That's about it.

[Clinton Huxley]

I watched it on a whim one night not long ago. I don't usually go for sci-fi that much these days, but I wanted something that would download quickly. It was good enough. That's about it.

I wonder how good a movie about Monkeygeddon could possibly be? It's got a bit of an in-built drag factor, what with being about talking monkeys. We ain't talking Fellini here...

[FBM]

I watched it on a whim one night not long ago. I don't usually go for sci-fi that much these days, but I wanted something that would download quickly. It was good enough. That's about it.

I wonder how good a movie about Monkeygeddon could possibly be? It's got a bit of an in-built drag factor, what with being about talking monkeys. We ain't talking Fellini here...

It's definitely one of the movies I've ever seen. That one chimp chick, forget her name, the one that was helping the humans out, I'd totally do her. Anyway, who's this Fellini fella? Was he in the movie?

[Clinton Huxley]

I watched it on a whim one night not long ago. I don't usually go for sci-fi that much these days, but I wanted something that would download quickly. It was good enough. That's about it.

I wonder how good a movie about Monkeygeddon could possibly be? It's got a bit of an in-built drag factor, what with being about talking monkeys. We ain't talking Fellini here...

It's definitely one of the movies I've ever seen. That one chimp chick, forget her name, the one that was helping the humans out, I'd totally do her. Anyway, who's this Fellini fella? Was he in the movie?

He was the rather flamboyant bonobo in the cravat...

[FBM]

I watched it on a whim one night not long ago. I don't usually go for sci-fi that much these days, but I wanted something that would download quickly. It was good enough. That's about it.

I wonder how good a movie about Monkeygeddon could possibly be? It's got a bit of an in-built drag factor, what with being about talking monkeys. We ain't talking Fellini here...

It's definitely one of the movies I've ever seen. That one chimp chick, forget her name, the one that was helping the humans out, I'd totally do her. Anyway, who's this Fellini fella? Was he in the movie?

He was the rather flamboyant bonobo in the cravat...

The film could've use a bit more bonobo-like behavior, IMO.

[Clinton Huxley]

Planet of the Mother-Fucking Bonobo's is, I believe, in post production.

[FBM]

(Ignoring the superfluous apostrophe)

[Clinton Huxley]

(Ignoring the superfluous apostrophe)

Soon to be followed by Planet of the Pedantic Gibbons