How to get raped - long hair derail.

[charlou]

And Charlou.
It's the oldest trick in the female book to twist something a man says into something he didn't mean. I've had too much of that to fall for it. So no thanks, dearie.

I shouldn't have commented before you'd had a chance to respond to Gallstones. As it was, I didn't intend to twist your words, but express how I'd understood them, posted as they were immediately after Gallstones's openness about her experience. I apologise, both for the misunderstanding and for going on to without waiting for your response to Gallstones.

On reflection, advising women who are concerned about rape that keeping their hair short may improve their chances of escape is just as appropriate as any other advice (being fit, being fairly sober, flat shoes, for example) from that purely pragmatic point of view.

[mistermack]

Thanks Charlou, and I apologise for being so prickly. There has been a lot of posts misunderstood on this thread by practically everyone, including me. Probably because it's a touchy subject, we tend to read into things what we want to read.

I mistakenly thought Gallstones "keep fit" advice was flippant, because it wouldn't have occurred to me as the first bit of advice to give, it wouldn't have even got into my top fifty. It might now, having thought about it. One thing though, is that fitness could be a double edged sword. It might make people more interested in raping you.

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Thanks Charlou, and I apologise for being so prickly. There has been a lot of posts misunderstood on this thread by practically everyone, including me. Probably because it's a touchy subject, we tend to read into things what we want to read.

I mistakenly thought Gallstones "keep fit" advice was flippant, because it wouldn't have occurred to me as the first bit of advice to give, it wouldn't have even got into my top fifty. It might now, having thought about it. One thing though, is that fitness could be a double edged sword. It might make people more interested in raping you.

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Thanks for the clarification. I hope we can move along with this now, it's an important subject. Cheers to all.

[Hermit]

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Followed by: Don't sway suggestively.

[Pappa]

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Followed by: Don't sway suggestively.

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 30#p856937

[Hermit]

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Followed by: Don't sway suggestively.

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 30#p856937

Makes sense, doesn't it? That's why jihabs are so necessary, and the prohibition for women to hop into cars unless driven by their fathers, brothers or husbands. And why they must never ever eat out in mixed company at a junk food "restaurant" like MacDonalds, let alone visit a bar.

In the words of the sheik quoted in the link:"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?

"The uncovered meat is the problem."

Women who don't want to get raped, take heed of this sound advice!

[charlou]

Here's a thing, though ... A drunk woman may be considered fair game by a rapist, and would be in a poor state to defend herself against an attack. If she is raped, of course it's not her fault ... the rapist is the criminal, not her .... BUT ... If she hadn't been drunk the rape may not have happened. Making a pragmatic statement of fact is not the same as blaming drunk women if they get raped. Fuck, this can happen to men too ... and the same thing applies.

[mistermack]

Perhaps it's hard for some to differentiate between how to avoid rape, and who is to blame for rape.
For the record, advising someone not to get drunk doesn't mean you are somehow to blame, if you get drunk. It's just an acknowledgement of the fact that most rapes happen to women who get drunk.

It seems people have a job distinguishing between the real world, and the world as it should be.

In the real world, if you get out of your head, there's a chance someone will rape you.
In the ideal world, people should help you home, make sure you're ok, and leave discreetly.

Anybody living in the ideal world is perfectly safe from rape anyway, so they don't need to read this thread.

[hadespussercats]

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Followed by: Don't sway suggestively.

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 30#p856937

Makes sense, doesn't it? That's why jihabs are so necessary, and the prohibition for women to hop into cars unless driven by their fathers, brothers or husbands. And why they must never ever eat out in mixed company at a junk food "restaurant" like MacDonalds, let alone visit a bar.

In the words of the sheik quoted in the link:"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?

"The uncovered meat is the problem."

Women who don't want to get raped, take heed of this sound advice!

What pisses me off the most about these arguments, beyond the blame-the-victim mentality, is that utter lack of recognition that rape is a crime about violence and control, not about sex. Sex is just the weapon of physical domination and/or humiliation being used in this particular case.

People aren't raped because they're beautiful. People are raped because other people think they have the right to control, them, hurt them, take something from them, or otherwise bring them down.

[Cunt]

I have never understood the 'it's about violence and control, not sex', or the other popular 'it's not about sex, it's about power'. Doesn't mean anything to me. It can be about anything...Generalizing to this extent seems foolish.

[rachelbean]

Perhaps someone should start a list, of rape advice.

I'm suggesting don't get drunk as number one.

Followed by: Don't sway suggestively.

http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 30#p856937

I was thinking more of:
http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 30#p856955

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I have never understood the 'it's about violence and control, not sex', or the other popular 'it's not about sex, it's about power'. Doesn't mean anything to me. It can be about anything...Generalizing to this extent seems foolish.

It's actually rather specific. The FBI has some seven or eight (I forget) distinct rapist models and they say the models fit about 92% of rapes. The lowest ranked model is "sexual predator".

Caveat, this information is about 15 years old.

[charlou]

Lack of self-control on the part of the rapist is another model. Not a desire to inflict anything on another person, just a desire to sate a personal urge, which happens to include the use of another person - involving a lack or temporary suspension of empathy/boundaries. Often guilt and remorse, or denial are involved.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Lack of self-control on the part of the rapist is another model. Not a desire to inflict anything on another person, just a desire to sate a personal urge, which happens to include the use of another person - involving a lack or temporary suspension of empathy/boundaries. Often guilt and remorse, or denial are involved.

Park Deets got the models started, IIRC. Some 22,000+ rape cases as data.

[hadespussercats]

I have never understood the 'it's about violence and control, not sex', or the other popular 'it's not about sex, it's about power'. Doesn't mean anything to me. It can be about anything...Generalizing to this extent seems foolish.

There are people who don't believe someone could have been raped, because "who would rape her?"

But elderly women get raped, men get raped, babies get raped. It's not about female sex appeal. I'm not sure what you're getting at, if you think this is generalizing.