How to get raped - long hair derail.

[mistermack]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

[hadespussercats]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

I hear this a lot about long hair, dangling earrings, never wearing shoes you can't run in. Is this taking smart precautions, you think, or is this letting terror take over?

[Geoff]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

I hear this a lot about long hair, dangling earrings, never wearing shoes you can't run in. Is this taking smart precautions, you think, or is this letting terror take over?

Paranoia, IMO. The type of scenario where that would be relevant is very rare, in terms of overall rapes.

[Cunt]

I have quite long hair.

Gallstones, that exact thing, times a few thousand, is what I have in mind. I think such information, collected and disseminated well, could make positive changes. I don't think my...tastes...my approach, is the right way to reach the public where those changes could take effect. I hope someone steals this idea, and that it takes off. (I have a family member who is smart, academic, hardworking and interested, so who knows...)

I'm glad, once again, to know you.

EDIT - to close parenthesis

[Gallstones]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

I can't quite tell, are you implying that I made this up?
Or maybe I give stupid advice?

[charlou]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

I can't quite tell, are you implying that I made this up?
Or maybe I give stupid advice?

My interpretation is that it was neither. It was an incredibly insenstive, ill-timed and self indulgent attempt at irony. Some people just don't give a fuck about PCness empathy, to the point of making a comment like that to a person who has just been open and honest in sharing a painful life changing, even devastating, experience. With those words, mistermack's demonstrated right there why many people don't feel supported enough to speak freely.

[Rum]

Given the tone of the OP this whole thread feel awkward and wrong footed. (Gallstones openness excepted of course). Maybe we should start again with an open and supportive inquiry into the subject...

[mistermack]

I was 15yo and fit and I could run fast, but I had long hair and he was able to grab me up by the hair and drag me into his house.

So, teach your daughters to keep fit,

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

The tone of my comment was exactly the same as that of Gallstones.
Keep fit,,,,,,, long hair,,,,,,,,
what the fuck is the problem?

And Charlou.
It's the oldest trick in the female book to twist something a man says into something he didn't mean. I've had too much of that to fall for it. So no thanks, dearie.

[Hermit]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

Mistermack, keeping in mind that about 80% of rapes are perpetrated by family members, friends, work colleagues or people otherwise acquainted with the victim, your "advice" is singularly unhelpful and insensitive.

[mistermack]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

Mistermack, keeping in mind that about 80% of rapes are perpetrated by family members, friends, work colleagues or people otherwise acquainted with the victim, your "advice" is singularly unhelpful and insensitive.

Unhelpful and insensitive, of course it is. It wasn't serious.
But what's the relevance of "family, friends" etc? What difference does that make?
Or do you feel better, after you've stated the bleedin obvious?
.

[Hermit]

So, teach your daughters to keep fit, and to value themselves and promise that you will be there should such a thing happen to them. That should take care of it as best as can be expected.

And don't let their hair grow long. You missed out the important bit.

Mistermack, keeping in mind that about 80% of rapes are perpetrated by family members, friends, work colleagues or people otherwise acquainted with the victim, your "advice" is singularly unhelpful and insensitive.

Unhelpful and insensitive, of course it is. It wasn't serious.
But what's the relevance of "family, friends" etc? What difference does that make?
Or do you feel better, after you've stated the bleedin obvious?
.

Thanks for finally agreeing that your advice was unhelpful and insensitive. The relevance of family, friends etc is mainly, though not exclusively, what made it so unhelpful and insensitive. Do you feel better for making your unhelpful and insensitive remark in a forum section titled General Serious Discussion & Philosophy?

[mistermack]

]Thanks for finally agreeing that your advice was unhelpful and insensitive. The relevance of family, friends etc is mainly, though not exclusively, what made it so unhelpful and insensitive. Do you feel better for making your unhelpful and insensitive remark in a forum section titled General Serious Discussion & Philosophy?

In a thread entitled "How to get raped" you mean?
You make I laugh !!!

[Cunt]

Rum, thanks for the thought, but I don't think we need to start again. There will always be a whole world of people to get along with, even some who make crass jokes and inappropriate comments. I don't think they diminish the experience shared at all. I let my daughters read both Gallstones comment, and mistermacks. If someone decides to make this idea live, they will have to make it live in a world which includes mistermack.

[mistermack]

I would just like to point out what other people have written on this thread :

Hey fella, want to come up to my elevator for a cuppa coffee?

PC language could really obscure the purpose here, don't you think?

Wear a short skirt (anything above the ankle) - and walk into a mosque.

I have quite long hair.

When it comes to being helpful and sensitive, I keep that for real life, not chatrooms.

I once had a girlfriend who had been abused by her father. She didn't tell me straight away, but after he had been coming to the house for quite a while.
She told me that she felt that she could tell me, but not her previous boyfriend, because he would have killed him.
She was right, I felt like killing him, but she was still on good terms, and didn't want to break up her family.
So I bit my tongue and took it, when he was around, smiling to me and her friends like nothing happened.

I felt like beating the shit out of him, but it was her right to choose.
Maybe I was right to be "helpful and sensitive", or maybe I should have killed the fucker. Who knows? It still bugs me.

[Ronja]

mistermack, I think the negative reactions you got had a lot to do with timing. Posting a flippant sounding comment immediately after and/or as a comment to when someone has been very open about something very painful, will likely be seen as something worse than a flippant sounding comment elsewhere. And flippant sounding comments in general, in a thread that has a serious topic, often risk getting some negative reactions. If you don't want negative reactions, try to avoid sounding like you are joking about painful topics.


BTW, what do people think, should the thread title be edited? Maybe something alike "How to act if you get raped"?