Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post Reply
User avatar
Orwellian
Clerk, Records Department, Ministry of Truth
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:05 pm
About me: I am an intellectual, a member of the Outer Party, and I live in the ruins of London. I grew up in the post-Second World War UK, during the revolution and the civil war after which the Party assumed power. During the civil war, Ingsoc placed me in an orphanage for training and subsequent employment as a civil servant. I maintain a squalid existence, living in a one-room apartment, eating a subsistence diet of black bread and synthetic meals washed down with Victory-brand gin. I keep a journal of negative thoughts and opinions about the Party and Big Brother, which, if discovered by the Thought Police, will warrant death, so don't tell on me. I am fortunate, because the apartment I live in has an alcove, beside the telescreen, where it cannot see me, and so my thoughts remain private.
Location: Airstrip One, Oceania
Contact:

Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Orwellian » Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:03 pm

Malaysia Airlines has banned babies in the first-class sections of its Boeing 747-400 jets. It also plans to do the same in its yet-to-be-delivered Airbus A380 superjumbo jets, according to the Australian Business Traveller.
http://travel.usatoday.com/flights/post ... n/175760/1

Babies are not allowed in First Class on Oceania Airlines. Babies have never been allowed in First Class on Oceania Airlines.
To the future or to the past, to a time when thought is free, when men are different from one another and do not live alone — to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone: From the age of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink — greetings!

Callan
Invincible
Posts: 4637
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:44 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Callan » Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:09 pm

Speaking as one who has recently been screamed at relentlessly all the way from Singapore to Heathrow, I would now cheerfully see babies consigned to little cots perched on the wings of the aircraft. I might even agree to allowing the cots to be glued down...Maybe.
:twisted:

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Feck » Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:52 pm

Callan wrote:Speaking as one who has recently been screamed at relentlessly all the way from Singapore to Heathrow, I would now cheerfully see babies consigned to little cots perched on the wings of the aircraft. I might even agree to allowing the cots to be glued down...Maybe.
:twisted:

They make dogs travel in cages in the hold why not children ? but seriously children cry on planes because they cannot clear the pressure form their ears ...... A good hard open handed slap on both ears should sort crying children out no bother .
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

Callan
Invincible
Posts: 4637
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:44 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Callan » Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:56 pm

Feck wrote:
Callan wrote:Speaking as one who has recently been screamed at relentlessly all the way from Singapore to Heathrow, I would now cheerfully see babies consigned to little cots perched on the wings of the aircraft. I might even agree to allowing the cots to be glued down...Maybe.
:twisted:

They make dogs travel in cages in the hold why not children ? but seriously children cry on planes because they cannot clear the pressure form their ears ...... A good hard open handed slap on both ears should sort crying children out no bother .
Good point, well made - but the parents get so antsy when you do that...

User avatar
Audley Strange
"I blame the victim"
Posts: 7485
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:00 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Audley Strange » Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:20 pm

Drug the little fuckers and put them in as cargo. In saying that as annoying as the little bastards can be (and I've had to endure several LH flights with screaming babies next to me) I have twice had the misfortune to be on LH flights with gangs of Schoolkids, once coming back from China and once from Africa, that's worse, much much much worse.
"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man

User avatar
Twoflower
Queen of Slugs
Posts: 16611
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:23 pm
About me: Twoflower is the optimistic-but-naive tourist. He often runs into danger, being certain that nothing bad will happen to him since he is not involved. He also believes in the fundamental goodness of human nature and that all problems can be resolved, if all parties show good will and cooperate.
Location: Boston
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Twoflower » Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:42 am

I've found making faces at them and playing with them makes them stop crying. Of course the parents usually get freaked out, although I had one mom put me in charge of her 4 year old at an airport after knowing me for all of 10 minutes.
I'm wild just like a rock, a stone, a tree
And I'm free, just like the wind the breeze that blows
And I flow, just like a brook, a stream, the rain
And I fly, just like a bird up in the sky
And I'll surely die, just like a flower plucked
And dragged away and thrown away
And then one day it turns to clay
It blows away, it finds a ray, it finds its way
And there it lays until the rain and sun
Then I breathe, just like the wind the breeze that blows
And I grow, just like a baby breastfeeding
And it's beautiful, that's life

Image

User avatar
Xamonas Chegwé
Bouncer
Bouncer
Posts: 50939
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
Location: Nottingham UK
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:57 am

Rohypnol works on babies too. Just saying... :shifty:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur

User avatar
klr
(%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
Posts: 32964
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
About me: The money was just resting in my account.
Location: Airstrip Two
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by klr » Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:26 am

Audley Strange wrote:Drug the little fuckers and put them in as cargo. In saying that as annoying as the little bastards can be (and I've had to endure several LH flights with screaming babies next to me) I have twice had the misfortune to be on LH flights with gangs of Schoolkids, once coming back from China and once from Africa, that's worse, much much much worse.
And I thought I had it bad being once stuck on a bus with an army of Spanish exchange students. :irate:
God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers

It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

:mob: :comp: :mob:

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74293
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by JimC » Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:47 am

Gin...

The answer lies with gin...

Some for the babies, some for you...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Feck » Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:52 am

JimC wrote:Gin
The answer lies with gin and Ketamine
Some for the babies, some for you...
:fix:
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

devogue

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by devogue » Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:39 am

I totally agree with the ban on babies in First Class - especially with the cost of the tickets.

Hopefully they will also ban fat cunts, snoring bastards, smelly fuckers, ugly dicks and undesirable ethnic minorities as well.

User avatar
Feck
.
.
Posts: 28391
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:25 pm
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Feck » Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:03 am

devogue wrote:I totally agree with the ban on babies in First Class - especially with the cost of the tickets.

Hopefully they will also ban fat cunts, snoring bastards, smelly fuckers, ugly dicks and undesirable ethnic minorities as well.
No just children . I don't mind the irish they should be valued for their contribution to society ( who doesn't love a good canal ) :hehe:
:hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog: :hoverdog:
Give me the wine , I don't need the bread

User avatar
Svartalf
Offensive Grail Keeper
Posts: 41171
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:42 pm
Location: Paris France
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Svartalf » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:10 pm

I dunno, I learned at a very early age to be nice when on a plane... then again, I suspect the first 4 or 6 transatlantic trips must still have been taxing, since I don't remember any such trips from the time before I could speak, and there must have been, so I can't warrant.

OTOH, I used to sleep most soundly as soon as I was in a moving vehicle, a feature I have lost only a couple years ago (or the vehicle was just REALLY too cramped for a man of my current volume), so maybe I just slept except at bottle time.
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

PC stands for "Patronizing Cocksucker" Randy Ping

User avatar
Svartalf
Offensive Grail Keeper
Posts: 41171
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:42 pm
Location: Paris France
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Svartalf » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:11 pm

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:Rohypnol works on babies too. Just saying... :shifty:
You, sir, are a pervert and a villain of the deepest dye.

Who in hell would roofie a baby?
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

PC stands for "Patronizing Cocksucker" Randy Ping

User avatar
Svartalf
Offensive Grail Keeper
Posts: 41171
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:42 pm
Location: Paris France
Contact:

Re: Babies! Get to the back of the airplane!

Post by Svartalf » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:14 pm

Feck wrote:
devogue wrote:I totally agree with the ban on babies in First Class - especially with the cost of the tickets.

Hopefully they will also ban fat cunts, snoring bastards, smelly fuckers, ugly dicks and undesirable ethnic minorities as well.
No just children . I don't mind the irish they should be valued for their contribution to society ( who doesn't love a good canal ) :hehe:
depends? should I widen your mom's canal, or deal with your root canals?
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

PC stands for "Patronizing Cocksucker" Randy Ping

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 26 guests