If we ever met extraterrestrials

[Animavore]

Bang them

[Mysturji]

Give them a taste of their own medicine. :analprobe:

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Give them a taste of their own medicine.

[Cormac]

How would we approach them if it came to first, personal contact? We can't 'do' handshakes, and neither could we suddenly engage them in conversation. Would both parties just stand there, making some para-linguistic gesticulations as if to articulate an inability to communicate?

The intergalactic signal of "we welcome you in peace" is to turn your pockets inside out, open your flies, and pull your willy out - you then utter the incantation "You can say hello to my trouser elephant".

[Audley Strange]

Well either we are so advanced that we go and meet them, at which point we will exploit the shit out of them and probably make them extinct, or they come to us.

If so they are coming either to investigate us, which means they are probably so far advanced that they will treat us like we treat lab specimens, to ransack our resources (good luck with that you black eyed bastards, we've got nothing!) or they are just utterly hostile which should be beneficial to those worried about overpopulation.

On the off chance they are enlightened, civil and willing to help us, we'll have to make it our duty to exterminate most religious leaders and politicians.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Well either we are so advanced that we go and meet them, at which point we will exploit the shit out of them and probably make them extinct, or they come to us.

If so they are coming either to investigate us, which means they are probably so far advanced that they will treat us like we treat lab specimens, to ransack our resources (good luck with that you black eyed bastards, we've got nothing!) or they are just utterly hostile which should be beneficial to those worried about overpopulation.

On the off chance they are enlightened, civil and willing to help us, we'll have to make it our duty to exterminate most religious leaders and politicians.

If they're civilized they'll do it for us.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

How about ?

They might have pollen allergies and take it as a sign of hostility.

But to answer the OP, I expect the process would be similar to a Victorian explorer meeting an uncontacted uninnoculated Amazonian tribe for the first time, but more difficult.

As to who catches what from whom, I have no clue...

[Tero]

Why would they even approach primitive people still toiling away under capitalism?

But if they came to the US, we would have to shoot them, we all have guns.

[Audley Strange]

@ Gawdzilla

Yeah good point, though I'd hope they'd have a sense of humour and wind up the arseholes first. How hard can it be for them to pretend they're Yaweh, " Come children we take you to Heaven!" One mass exodus later. "Hey Blorx, jettison the Cargo into the sun please." And as the faithful hurtle towards their burning doom a sign lights up in their pods. "Where's your god now you wanker?"

Ahhh, I like our new alien overlords.

[hiyymer]

How would we approach them if it came to first, personal contact? We can't 'do' handshakes, and neither could we suddenly engage them in conversation. Would both parties just stand there, making some para-linguistic gesticulations as if to articulate an inability to communicate?

If they are able to get here against all the obvious physical constraints of such a thing happening, I don't think we'll need to worry about it. It won't be our decision. And they won't be here to help us build pyramids, or to just "investigate". The life form is a mystery, but can't one assume that it's intentionality is the same everywhere in the universe?

[Atheist-Lite]

How would we approach them if it came to first, personal contact? We can't 'do' handshakes, and neither could we suddenly engage them in conversation. Would both parties just stand there, making some para-linguistic gesticulations as if to articulate an inability to communicate?

If they are able to get here against all the obvious physical constraints of such a thing happening, I don't think we'll need to worry about it. It won't be our decision. And they won't be here to help us build pyramids, or to just "investigate". The life form is a mystery, but can't one assume that it's intentionality is the same everywhere in the universe.

They would visit for the lulz, nothing else makes sense.

[Eriku]

I reckon an open palm wave of the hand would be useful. "We have no weapons or bad intentions", like.

With some ever-vigil chap with a flamethrower on our side, of course.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I reckon an open palm wave of the hand would be useful. "We have no weapons or bad intentions", like.

With some ever-vigil chap with a flamethrower on our side, of course.

That reminds me of the white flag scene from "War of the Worlds" (the good one, not the Tom Curse version. )

[Mallardz]

Provide live pornography.
Lots of couples shagging will both entertainment and educate them.
Then have some weird people who want sex with aliens on standby so the alien can have a go if they wish.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Provide live pornography.
Lots of couples shagging will both entertainment and educate them.
Then have some weird people who want sex with aliens on standby so the alien can have a go if they wish.

An alien finally lands on Earth. The humans want to show him "everything", so they find two people willing to demonstrate the reproductive act in front of him. He watches intently, but seems confused when they are finished.

"Where's the baby?"

"Oh, that takes nine months."

"Then why the big rush at the end?"