Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

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Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:18 am

Happily, he was using an unloaded weapon.

If you've never heard of Brother Sam Singleton I'll add some bio for you. Feel free to skip over the spoiler if you know him, there's nothing new there.

[spoil]Sam Singleton was raised by the most radical of fundamentalists, the biblical literalists that believe that when the Bible says true believers can drink poison and "take up serpents" without being harmed, it means exactly that. So the "snake handlers" routinely play with rattlesnakes and drink "bleach". Sam, at age 14, was into this Pentecostal bullshit. However, one night his grandfather "took up" a cottonmouth who apparently didn't know the rules. The snake bit Grandpa Singleton on the eye. He died ugly. And all the adults around Sam just prayed he'd be spared. He wasn't, and that set Sam on the path to sanity. [/spoil]

Brother Sam's talk last night was on "Patriarchs and Penises", and he tore up the dicks that were top dog in the Hebrew world, including the Big Dick himself. "God is so intimidated by vaginas that he had to go the artificial insemination route. He had Mary and she was still a virgin after! To hear her tell it anyway."

Now the attempt on my life. He started the P&P part by picking me from the crowd and, with his arm over my shoulder, prayed loudly that if "anything I say tonight isn't true, I wish that God in Heaven would send a lightning bolt to strike the man next to me!" Thanks, Sam. :finga:

And a note here: He and his wife travel the country entertaining and informing us about the state of religion in the US, and how we can fight back against that insidious and erosive belief system. Unfortunately, their RV was hit by thieves last week and a lot of stuff was stolen. This has left them in a tight spot. So, if you have the chance, please drop by Brother Sam's website and pick up an item or two from his store. (The thieves took none of his atheist items, just money and equipment and personal items. I guess they were "good Christians".)

(I am not associated with Brother Sam in anyway other than being a alternative target for God's wrath.)
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by devogue » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:20 am

Sounds like a good man.

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:25 am

devogue wrote:Sounds like a good man.
He's a perfect weapon in this fight. He knows the enemy and can take their weaknesses apart with surgical precision. :prof:
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Geoff » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:35 am

And why isn't he signed up to Ratz? Sounds like he'd fit in perfectly!
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by devogue » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:36 am

Geoff wrote:And why isn't he signed up to Ratz? Sounds like he'd fit in perfectly!
His articles are fucking awesome. The one about the fuck ups and layabouts on 9/11 made me piss my pants several times.

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:40 am

Geoff wrote:And why isn't he signed up to Ratz? Sounds like he'd fit in perfectly!
He's very focused on his mission. I don't know if he'd be interested in joining a forum. He and wife are really nice, btw. We had a chance to talk with him before and after the show.

Robert, this was in the same place where we met PZ. :dance:
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by laklak » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:44 am

I love this guy!
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Geoff » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:48 am

He has good taste in beers too! I wanna try that Black Butte Porter now!
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:50 am

So, how many of you clicked "Click anywhere but here"? :coffee:
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by devogue » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:51 am

Gawdzilla wrote:So, how many of you clicked "Click anywhere but here"? :coffee:
:{D :{D :{D

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Lozzer » Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:00 pm

He isn't funny, and why is he dressed as a Victorian?
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeee

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:04 pm

Devogay wrote:He isn't funny, and why is he dressed as a Victorian?
He's dressed as a tent revival evangelist. And he is funny. :relax:
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Lozzer » Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:09 pm

Gawdzilla wrote:
Devogay wrote:He isn't funny, and why is he dressed as a Victorian?
He's dressed as a tent revival evangelist. And he is funny. :relax:
He is weirdo
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeee

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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Geoff » Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:14 pm

Devogay wrote:
Gawdzilla wrote:
Devogay wrote:He isn't funny, and why is he dressed as a Victorian?
He's dressed as a tent revival evangelist. And he is funny. :relax:
He is weirdo
:pot:
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Re: Brother Sam tried to get me killed last night.

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:16 pm

Devogay wrote:
Gawdzilla wrote:
Devogay wrote:He isn't funny, and why is he dressed as a Victorian?
He's dressed as a tent revival evangelist. And he is funny. :relax:
He is weirdo
If you'd seen your grandfather die shitting, pissing, vomiting, and screaming when you were fourteen while your parents just prayed, you'd be even weirder than you are now. :blah:
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