Yes. It is real.
Alien vs Ninja. A tale of anachronistic ninjas sporting black spray-painted ice-hockey pads and black PVC under the thumb of a grand master and his gas mask wearing guardians do battle against a bulimic Pokemon from outer space.
Sounds pretty awesome on paper, right?
Wrong.
It started off pretty decent with some nice sword work but once the alien came into it, very early in this 75 minute film, it was like watching an episode of the Power Rangers only with some gore as they chased a rubber monster around the same two or three sets only shot from different angles while dodgy techno music played in the background.
The special effects were no better than the ones seen on a ghost train at your average carnival. At one stage a guy gets decapitated and a crow is heard cawing and fluttering in towards it. What looked like a stuffed crow mounted on a stick pops onto the screen and pecks at his eye.They seemingly had a guy basically holding mounted crow like a hammer and bashing at his cornea a couple of times.
It also featured one of the most bizarre sexually suggestive male vs female on screen tussles I have ever seen or are likely to see and one bit toward they end where a ninja, under the mind control of the alien with a little pink foetus down his throat starts calling the protagonist a, "Mother fucking son of a bitch", in mock American English (which the protagonist can't understand), which is then followed by chants of, "Fuck you" by the other controlled ninjas, which I just simply can't make head nor tail of.
Add on top of this the dodgy slap-stick, the bad acting which you can tell even though they're speaking a language I don't understand, slow motion techniques used incorrectly and desultory editing and you have a film which should be avoided like Jersey Shore.
Are you two related by any chance?
Not Henry V. But much fun.