Help me?

[Lozzer]

Lozzer, consider keeping a journal of these events. Then, if you need to, you can give it to someone to review without having to tell the whole story when you're not comfortable doing so. Track your general mood and any external factors that may trigger the events. Be HONEST when you writing, you're going to be telling yourself what you feel, not anybody else, so you'll know if you're BSing.

Hmm I could do. I just read up on Schizophrenia. I can relate to some symptoms but only a few.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Lozzer, consider keeping a journal of these events. Then, if you need to, you can give it to someone to review without having to tell the whole story when you're not comfortable doing so. Track your general mood and any external factors that may trigger the events. Be HONEST when you writing, you're going to be telling yourself what you feel, not anybody else, so you'll know if you're BSing.

Hmm I could do. I just read up on Schizophrenia. I can relate to some symptoms but only a few.

It's not an "all or nothing" condition. You could have a mild case that could be better handled early on and thus have much less effect on your life. The sooner you recognize that you need a little outside help, the sooner you'll be able to continue with your life without the unnecessary drama.

[FBM]

I don't want to talk about it with anyone. And obviously I'm not going to murder anyone. And I can relate allot to that article. But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired or possibly suddenly drifting off to sleep? But I'm not sure. Both the voice and the image was so vivid.

I've had auditory hallucinations before, quite a few times, and they were always when I was really tired and/or drifting off to sleep. As far as I remember, it was always just one word. Usually my name, but sometimes a word I that I didn't quite catch. And you're right; it's so real that I would get up and look around the house to see if someone was there. Like you, my 'voice' was always a mature female. Sometimes the brain fires randomly. It may be totally unrelated to your fantasies. It may just be a coincidence that both of these things are going on at the same time. I agree with 'zilla, though. Keep a journal. You may find a pattern without consulting anybody.

[Lozzer]

I don't want to talk about it with anyone. And obviously I'm not going to murder anyone. And I can relate allot to that article. But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired or possibly suddenly drifting off to sleep? But I'm not sure. Both the voice and the image was so vivid.

I've had auditory hallucinations before, quite a few times, and they were always when I was really tired and/or drifting off to sleep. As far as I remember, it was always just one word. Usually my name, but sometimes a word I that I didn't quite catch. And you're right; it's so real that I would get up and look around the house to see if someone was there. Like you, my 'voice' was always a mature female. Sometimes the brain fires randomly. It may be totally unrelated to your fantasies. It may just be a coincidence that both of these things are going on at the same time. I agree with 'zilla, though. Keep a journal. You may find a pattern without consulting anybody.

That's exactly what it was like. Sometimes I also get these constant high pitched tone in my ear. It usually occurs when I have my head on one side. It probably has nothing to do with auditory hallucination but is it at all correlated?

[CJ]

I don't want to talk about it with anyone. And obviously I'm not going to murder anyone. And I can relate allot to that article. But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired or possibly suddenly drifting off to sleep? But I'm not sure. Both the voice and the image was so vivid.

I've had auditory hallucinations before, quite a few times, and they were always when I was really tired and/or drifting off to sleep. As far as I remember, it was always just one word. Usually my name, but sometimes a word I that I didn't quite catch. And you're right; it's so real that I would get up and look around the house to see if someone was there. Like you, my 'voice' was always a mature female. Sometimes the brain fires randomly. It may be totally unrelated to your fantasies. It may just be a coincidence that both of these things are going on at the same time. I agree with 'zilla, though. Keep a journal. You may find a pattern without consulting anybody.

That's exactly what it was like. Sometimes I also get these constant high pitched tone in my ear. It usually occurs when I have my head on one side. It probably has nothing to do with auditory hallucination but is it at all correlated?

I suffer from mild tinnitus (in my case a high pitched 'fuzzy' noise) occasionally, it tends to be when I am tired and have drunk a lot of coffee. Is your sound a 'clear' tone or like white noise centred on a particular pitch?

[Har]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

I am no expert but here are my 2 cents.
You say you hallucinate as you are about to fall asleep? If so, they just sound like regular hypnagogic hallucinations to me. I've had a few of them myself. There is nothing odd going on there.

I am not sure if there really is such a cause for concern with your murder fantasies. You don't seem to feel any need to act them out. Most people have some amount of violent fantasies, they are quite common. I used to fantasise about killing my friends and even my mother in the most violent ways imaginable, but that's all they ever mounted to, fantasies.
Should you ever start feeling compelling need to act out your fantasies, then I suggest you seek help immediately.

[Lozzer]

I don't want to talk about it with anyone. And obviously I'm not going to murder anyone. And I can relate allot to that article. But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired or possibly suddenly drifting off to sleep? But I'm not sure. Both the voice and the image was so vivid.

I've had auditory hallucinations before, quite a few times, and they were always when I was really tired and/or drifting off to sleep. As far as I remember, it was always just one word. Usually my name, but sometimes a word I that I didn't quite catch. And you're right; it's so real that I would get up and look around the house to see if someone was there. Like you, my 'voice' was always a mature female. Sometimes the brain fires randomly. It may be totally unrelated to your fantasies. It may just be a coincidence that both of these things are going on at the same time. I agree with 'zilla, though. Keep a journal. You may find a pattern without consulting anybody.

That's exactly what it was like. Sometimes I also get these constant high pitched tone in my ear. It usually occurs when I have my head on one side. It probably has nothing to do with auditory hallucination but is it at all correlated?

I suffer from mild tinnitus (in my case a high pitched 'fuzzy' noise) occasionally, it tends to be when I am tired and have drunk a lot of coffee. Is your sound a 'clear' tone or like white noise centred on a particular pitch?

Hmmm its kinda sounds like that constant pitch released by the TV when its turned on.

[CJ]

I suffer from mild tinnitus (in my case a high pitched 'fuzzy' noise) occasionally, it tends to be when I am tired and have drunk a lot of coffee. Is your sound a 'clear' tone or like white noise centred on a particular pitch?

Hmmm its kinda sounds like that constant pitch released by the TV when its turned on.

Have a look here http://www.tinnitus.org.uk/

[FBM]

That's exactly what it was like. Sometimes I also get these constant high pitched tone in my ear. It usually occurs when I have my head on one side. It probably has nothing to do with auditory hallucination but is it at all correlated?

If it's tinnitus, I've got it, too. That has nothing to do with auditory hallucinations, though. I also used to have a lot of violent fantasies, even still do, really, though not about murdering friends and family. That's probably because of when and where I grew up, though. The mind is an amazing and sometimes weird thing. It's fun to watch how it plays, as long as you don't take it too seriously. The mind is always, always changing.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

One thing that no-one has mentioned yet is drugs. Lozzer, you have mentioned before that you smoke quite a bit of dope. Do these visions and hallucinations occur when you are stoned (or have been recently) or do you get them even when you haven't had any dope for a few days.

There is quite a body of evidence that heavy cannbis use at an early age (ie. under 18) can increase the chances of developing depression, schizophrenia and other conditions in susceptible individuals. It might not be relevant but I thought it needed mentioning - and it is something you might want to add to your diary.

[charlou]

Hey Lozzer, a few questions ...

But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired

In this instance, had you been awake for an extremely long period of time? Is this a tendency, with little sleep between?


Lozzer, what kind of entertainment do you like? I mean, movies, books, online games ... what genre are you into?


Are you on any medication, or taking any recreational drugs?

Edit: XC mentioned you smoke dope regularly ... anything else?

[Chinaski]

See if Freud's "Interpretation of Dreams" says anything about friend killing dreams.

[Lozzer]

One thing that no-one has mentioned yet is drugs. Lozzer, you have mentioned before that you smoke quite a bit of dope. Do these visions and hallucinations occur when you are stoned (or have been recently) or do you get them even when you haven't had any dope for a few days.

There is quite a body of evidence that heavy cannbis use at an early age (ie. under 18) can increase the chances of developing depression, schizophrenia and other conditions in susceptible individuals. It might not be relevant but I thought it needed mentioning - and it is something you might want to add to your diary.

I was a regular pot smoker when I was 12-14. Now I only toke occasionally which is about every 2-3 weeks. Obviously, hallucinations are going to happen sometimes if you smoke dope but that's rare for me. I don't get hallucinations after.

[Lozzer]

Hey Lozzer, a few questions ...

But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired

In this instance, had you been awake for an extremely long period of time? Is this a tendency, with little sleep between?


Lozzer, what kind of entertainment do you like? I mean, movies, books, online games ... what genre are you into?


Are you on any medication, or taking any recreational drugs?

Edit: XC mentioned you smoke dope regularly ... anything else?

Hmm well I had a house party on Friday and didn't sleep until 3am but then I woke at 11. I went to bed at 2am again last night.

I like strategic games, violent games and films which include violence, absolutes and sex. My books range from philosophy to fiction(my favourites are from nihilistic perspective) to politics(Anarchism, Communism).

I'm not on any medication. I drink fervently at weekends.

[charlou]

Hey Lozzer, a few questions ...

But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired

In this instance, had you been awake for an extremely long period of time? Is this a tendency, with little sleep between?


Lozzer, what kind of entertainment do you like? I mean, movies, books, online games ... what genre are you into?


Are you on any medication, or taking any recreational drugs?

Edit: XC mentioned you smoke dope regularly ... anything else?

Hmm well I had a house party on Friday and didn't sleep until 3am but then I woke at 11. I went to bed at 2am again last night.

I like strategic games, violent games and films which include violence, absolutes and sex. My books range from philosophy to fiction(my favourites are from nihilistic perspective) to politics(Anarchism, Communism).

I'm not on any medication. I drink fervently at weekends.

Pretty regular guy of your age then ...

hmmm ... do you feel you're able to dismiss what you imagined/thought as nonsense, or a trick of the mind (mindgames, if you will), that happens to people sometimes, and not dwell on it? Really, it happens and it's fucking fascinating - believe me, I had some doozies in my teens - and it's important to keep a rational perspective on it. It's when you can't do that, when it becomes obsessive and you find it difficult to control, that you really ought to seek some sort of professional counselling. Most people who experience this manage to maintain rationality, but not all ... and it's probably a fine line between the two ...