Help me?

[Lozzer]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

[Feck]

Are you actually full of angry feeling towards your classmates a lot of the time?
do you have these "dreams" after a shit day or do you grt them no matter what kind of day you have had ?
Does "killing " these people make you feel powerful or does it feel like you have been pushed into it ?

[CJ]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

Lozzer. This isn't good, that is just my gut reaction, I have no professional psychiatric expertise . You really do need to take this to a professional. Go see your GP and explain what you have posted here. A forum isn't the place to get quality advice on this sort of thing as you can't (shouldn't) go into the whole story as you have no idea where it will end up, with a doctor you will have real privacy. Can you discuss this in the family?

[Lozzer]

Are you actually full of angry feeling towards your classmates a lot of the time?
do you have these "dreams" after a shit day or do you grt them no matter what kind of day you have had ?
Does "killing " these people make you feel powerful or does it feel like you have been pushed into it ?

Nope, some of them piss me off but I have no anger towards them. I have them no matter what kind of day and yes they do make me feel 'powerful'. Powerful and feared.

[Lozzer]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

Lozzer. This isn't good, that is just my gut reaction, I have no professional psychiatric expertise . You really do need to take this to a professional. Go see your GP and explain what you have posted here. A forum isn't the place to get quality advice on this sort of thing as you can't (shouldn't) go into the whole story as you have no idea where it will end up, with a doctor you will have real privacy. Can you discuss this in the family?

Rather not see a GP. I'm ok with it here and no I can't.

[Lozzer]

Oh and for the record: I do not have depression.And I have no intention of acting any of these 'fantasies' out, reasoning being the reality would have to meet the specifics and that is pretty impossible.

[CJ]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

Lozzer. This isn't good, that is just my gut reaction, I have no professional psychiatric expertise . You really do need to take this to a professional. Go see your GP and explain what you have posted here. A forum isn't the place to get quality advice on this sort of thing as you can't (shouldn't) go into the whole story as you have no idea where it will end up, with a doctor you will have real privacy. Can you discuss this in the family?

Rather not see a GP. I'm ok with it here and no I can't.

I'm sure you wouldn't like to see a GP, but keep it in mind if the discussions here don't help. Why can't you discuss this with family?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Oh and for the record: I do not have depression.And I have no intention of acting any of these 'fantasies' out, reasoning being the reality would have to meet the specifics and that is pretty impossible.

Lozzer, I would suggest you do some research on these kind of dreams and see if there is something in similar cases that strikes a chord with you. Then see how the cases played out and see if that is the route you really want to take.

[Lozzer]

Sometimes at night as I try to get to sleep, I fantasise about murdering my friends for some reason. I don't know why it interests me, but I find thinking about it satisfying in some way. It may be due to a want of authority or respect? I don't know but these 'fantasies' are becoming more and more regular. I would act out my imaginary massacres in college--my own class, with a shotgun. I dispose of each individual separately.

Such fantasies are really starting to bother me. I've had them since I was really young, but when they first began they had nothing to do with murder because I didn't know what murder or death was.

Last nights one particularly frightened me, as I was thinking about the above, I heard a sudden feminine voice and the image of a very burlesque woman popped into my head for a few seconds. This scared the shit out of me, because the apparent thought wasn't something I conducted on my own accord but was of its own existence. It was like a woman had actually whispered into my ear. Anyway, this scared the living day out of me. She had said "do it in a day". Was this a night hallucination of some form or am I completely skits?

Thanks

PS can I please get some serious replies? This issue is worrying me.

Lozzer. This isn't good, that is just my gut reaction, I have no professional psychiatric expertise . You really do need to take this to a professional. Go see your GP and explain what you have posted here. A forum isn't the place to get quality advice on this sort of thing as you can't (shouldn't) go into the whole story as you have no idea where it will end up, with a doctor you will have real privacy. Can you discuss this in the family?

Rather not see a GP. I'm ok with it here and no I can't.

I'm sure you wouldn't like to see a GP, but keep it in mind if the discussions here don't help. Why can't you discuss this with family?

Because that would be gay, and very uncomfortable. The only time I ever talk about my problems is when I actually have depression.

[Lozzer]

Oh and for the record: I do not have depression.And I have no intention of acting any of these 'fantasies' out, reasoning being the reality would have to meet the specifics and that is pretty impossible.

Lozzer, I would suggest you do some research on these kind of dreams and see if there is something in similar cases that strikes a chord with you. Then see how the cases played out and see if that is the route you really want to take.

Good idea.

[CJ]

I'm sure you wouldn't like to see a GP, but keep it in mind if the discussions here don't help. Why can't you discuss this with family?

Because that would be gay, and very uncomfortable. The only time I ever talk about my problems is when I actually have depression.

Hmmmm well you can tell us so that's better than nothing.

[FBM]

Good idea.

Here's an intro to auditory hallucinations: http://neurology.health-cares.net/audit ... nation.php

Fantasies about killing your friends? The only thing I can recommend is, 'Don't do it.' Duh. There are other people you can talk to other than your family or GP. Your school may have a counselor, or there may be one a public health center. I doubt you will be the first one that has asked them about it. Do you have a favorite teacher? You don't even have to say that you're having the fantasies. You can just ask about it in more general terms.

[Lozzer]

Well, I just did some research and I'm pretty assured its not normal. When such fantasies do occur its usually out of anger. They can also be caused by depression or OCD. However, I don't believe I have either. There was also something I could relate to, which was the impulse to inflict pain or murder a random stranger--this is down OCD but I don't really share any other impulses. These 'impulses' are supposed to make one feel rather guilty afterwards, which they do sometimes. But I havn't really had such impulsions for a long time. I have no feelings of guilt over my fantasies though. I read that it may be down to childhood abuse? But I never suffered any. Also, I would have also enjoyed torturing animals as a child, which I did to an extent (such as setting fire to moths, killing ant nests etc but I that that's generally boyish).

Yes, I think I may be insane--which is cool? lol.

[Lozzer]

Good idea.

Here's an intro to auditory hallucinations: http://neurology.health-cares.net/audit ... nation.php

Fantasies about killing your friends? The only thing I can recommend is, 'Don't do it.' Duh. There are other people you can talk to other than your family or GP. Your school may have a counselor, or there may be one a public health center. I doubt you will be the first one that has asked them about it. Do you have a favorite teacher? You don't even have to say that you're having the fantasies. You can just ask about it in more general terms.

I don't want to talk about it with anyone. And obviously I'm not going to murder anyone. And I can relate allot to that article. But I think mine might have had something to do with being tired or possibly suddenly drifting off to sleep? But I'm not sure. Both the voice and the image was so vivid.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Lozzer, consider keeping a journal of these events. Then, if you need to, you can give it to someone to review without having to tell the whole story when you're not comfortable doing so. Track your general mood and any external factors that may trigger the events. Be HONEST when you writing, you're going to be telling yourself what you feel, not anybody else, so you'll know if you're BSing.