More good movies we've seen.

[Evabot]

Here are a couple good Spanish films :

[Animavore]

Speaking of Spanish films, I was watching Pan's Labyrinth and I noticed that a lot of your words are the same as ours just with an 'O' at the end

EDIT: Fix italic tags; stupidissimo.

[rachelbean]

Here are a couple good Spanish films :

So good...don't forget:

[Evabot]

indeed,bebe!!!

[Blondie]

Is this where we list our artsy films?

Hitchcock's Rope deserves a mention. One of his best films and yet the one most poorly rated by 'critics' (idiots).

[Blondie]

Two thumbs up!!

Indeed?

[Animavore]

What do people think of this?



I'm not so sure about this one but if anyone can pull it off it's Nolan, surely?

[Blondie]

What do people think of this?



I'm not so sure about this one but if anyone can pull it off it's Nolan, surely?

[Animavore]

What do people think of this?



I'm not so sure about this one but if anyone can pull it off it's Nolan, surely?

That's what I was thinking. It's so at odds against what Nolan has done already.

[Evabot]

yeah, Eva does not approve:/

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

I watched Downfall (Der Untergang) again recently...Fucking awesome.
Hitler is brilliantly portrayed.

I've just remembered that I have Lemmy - 49% Motherfucker, 51% Son of a Bitch to watch tonight too.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

[Chaz]

^ Wot is it? A ship going up/down?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

^ Wot is it? A ship going up/down?

Very much "up", then a lot of down. Anybody recognize the movie? (Anybody besides Kevin and Ian, of course. )

[Animavore]

The last time I watched a movie through my fingers I was 8 or 9, the film was Jaws and I was scared.
Tonight I had to watch another film through my fingers, though the impetus this time was embarrassment.
Wait a sec... let me just try yank my left palm from my forehead so I can type faster, I'm afraid the pressure has caused it to weld. -Yaah!

From the moment this film started I knew I was going to hate it. The first thing I did was pressed select on my PS3 controller to see how much longer it was going to be. Not an auspicious start.
It begins, thus - Once; man, and those in the water, were linked. [they used to talk over the future and we would listen and it would come true] But man does not listen very well. Mans' need to own everything led him deeper into land. [we were now separated from the magic world we used to share]



Did you ever see in the films they make a conical pyramid of champagne glasses and they start pouring into the top one and it overflows into the ones below? I had to do that with buckets.

So, taking no time in pissing me off, the film's outline is that the water people gave up trying to reach us any more, man became more violent as there were "no guides to listen to" - I mean, this is just typical theistical bollox of man "losing his way". Why do people have a habit of hating themselves so much that they think they are a lessened image of some sort of perfection?

The story centres around a block of apartments in an undisclosed area of America (though they look Las Vegan, I don't know if that's a common set-up in America). A guy named, Cleveland, owns or runs the place which is occupied by general misfits and oddballs, not the interesting kind from films like Freaks, but more like deformed Jelly Babies. You might pause and look briefly before shrugging your shoulders and popping it in your mouth. One of them is a guy named Reggie who only works out one side of his body with a big rubber arm on him. There's a guy who solves puzzles. A guy who doesn't talk much. An Oriental woman who - eh - is Oriental and an Indian brother and sister, one played by M. Knight Shalablahblah himself.

This is shades of Signs in the first ten minutes. It's obvious that these people are all going to come together somehow and become integral parts in a chain of events because, you know, everyone has a purpose, right?

This Cleveland fella at the beginning is whining about someone in the swimming pool at night and the pool cleaner finds clumps of hair. He goes out one night and hears a splash. He suspects someone in the pool and calls out and tries to out wait the person under the water. After a short while when no one surfaces he dives in, finding no one. Getting out of the pool he slips and near drowns. He then wakes up with some young one in his room dressed in just his shirt.

It's from this moment none of it makes sense. He asks her, "Where are you from". "The Blue World", she tells him.
She then asks him, "Do you feel an Awakening?"
Wait! What? Stop right there. A normal person would think that somehow a crack whore was after getting into his apartment and would throw her out by the scruff, but not Cleveland, he simply says, "What does that feel like?"
The girl gives him a sob story about being scared and he just decides to let her stay in his apartment over night.
Over night she tells him that she's a 'Narf'...



... that was when I chortled and guffawed.

Cleveland goes around the next day and aks the Oriental girl if she knows what a 'Narf' is and it just happens to be a story her mother used to tell her. Her mother tells them it's a type of water sprite.
And the movie goes on like this. Just one convenient event after another. All the characters are there to help the Narf return home via some giant eagle and to protect her from the Skrunt and the Evil Monkeys - I'm not fucking kidding here.

I haven't seen such a botched job since Donatella Versace. This Narf was supposed to somehow save mankind and bring it back to, I dunno, enlightenment or something. How? I haven't a clue. All I know was that this unlikely bunch of misfits were each supposed to hold a special power that would help lead the story on. There was a 'Symbolist' to interpret 'Signs', another was 'The Guardian' who could look the Skrunt in the eyes and stand it down, and there was the 'Seven Sisters' and the 'Healer'. Most of the movie was spent trying to find out who was who with a couple of mistakes and mix ups along the way. All of this was tedious and some of the choices were outright absurd. You're led to believe the crossword guy is the Sybolist but no, oh, it's his son, the guy who - reads messages in cereal boxes! You're taking the piss? Right?
How any of this relates to the mythology proposed in the opening narration, or what the Naf is supposed to do I haven't a clue. Maybe it was said to me, I did, admittedly, zone out a couple of times. But.could.I.really.give.a.fuck?

The dialogue was more ropey than a tramps pubes. They went on incessantly about 'purpose', and 'destiny', 'God' and a lot of made up words that sounded something you'd say on drugs. People kept asking the Narf about the future and she would tell them they will do great things and help change the world. Again, not explained how or anything. It just all smelled like Cop-Out to me. M. Knight didn't seem to have a clue what he was trying to say.
The acting was also piss poor. Bryce Dallas kept talking in a misty whisper, trailing off at the end of each sentence, I thought I see dead people boy was annoying. M. Knight couldn't act to save his career and even Paul Giamatti (pictured below) kept talking in an irritating stutter which was nothing like any stutter I've ever heard.



The very worst thing in the whole movie, though. The bit that really made me want to throw something at the screen, was when the film critic guy bought it. Yes, M' Knight is that petty. He actually put a film critic into the film, made him the most unlikable character, and then gave him a sticky end. It was one of the saddest things I've ever seen, and I've worked with orphan puppies. M. Knight can't take a bit of well deserved criticism and decides to revenge himself in his film. Well, M, if you really wanted to revenge yourself you'd make a good film and prove them wrong.

In the end the film is somewhere between an unfunny version of Crazy People (even though the characters weren't, strictly speaking, supposed to be retards) and leaning back on an auger bit in reverse and having your intestine yanked out of your ass.