Cricket Thread

[Animavore]

Speaking of cricket. Did you see this racist KFC ad?

Only racist in the opinion of the PC brigade from the States...

I was being sarcastic. I left a comment on that vid although I think its way down the list by now. Not arsed looking for it.

[klr]

157/9

Heads will roll ...

[Animavore]

Who's playing now?

[klr]

Who's playing now?

http://www.cricinfo.com/rsaveng09/engin ... 87573.html

[Animavore]

Who's playing now?

http://www.cricinfo.com/rsaveng09/engin ... 87573.html

I don't understand any of that. Who's winning?

[klr]

Who's playing now?

http://www.cricinfo.com/rsaveng09/engin ... 87573.html

I don't understand any of that. Who's winning?

South Africa, even though they haven't batted yet. England are likely going to be bowled out for less than 200 in their first innings, which is a very poor total.

[Animavore]

Who's playing now?

http://www.cricinfo.com/rsaveng09/engin ... 87573.html

I don't understand any of that. Who's winning?

South Africa, even though they haven't batted yet. England are likely going to be bowled out for less than 200 in their first innings, which is a very poor total.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

180 all out. Now let's see what the Ifrikins can do on that pitch. What's the betting it's a tad better?

[Clinton Huxley]

What W.G. Grace called the "First Innings" is over. I expect that the Battle of Johannesburg is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Test and County Cricket. Upon it depends our own British life and the long continuity of the ECB and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us now. Smith knows that he will have to break us in the next innings or lose the Test. If England can dismiss South Africa cheaply, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new cricketing Dark Age, made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted umpiring. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the ECB and the County Cricket Clubs last for a thousand years, men will say, "Kevin Pietersen is a total moron."

[klr]

What W.G. Grace called the "First Innings" is over. I expect that the Battle of Johannesburg is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Test and County Cricket. Upon it depends our own British life and the long continuity of the ECB and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us now. Smith knows that he will have to break us in the next innings or lose the Test. If England can dismiss South Africa cheaply, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new cricketing Dark Age, made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted umpiring. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the ECB and the County Cricket Clubs last for a thousand years, men will say, "Kevin Pietersen is a total moron."

[JimC]

What W.G. Grace called the "First Innings" is over. I expect that the Battle of Johannesburg is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Test and County Cricket. Upon it depends our own British life and the long continuity of the ECB and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us now. Smith knows that he will have to break us in the next innings or lose the Test. If England can dismiss South Africa cheaply, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new cricketing Dark Age, made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted umpiring. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the ECB and the County Cricket Clubs last for a thousand years, men will say, "Kevin Pietersen is a total moron."

The next Ashes series, Marching against England... :twisted:

[JimC]

The best current batsman in the known Universe, Ricky Ponting, scores a double century in Hobart...

Tremble in your boots, oh Englishmen! :twisted:

[redunderthebed]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket ... 463973.stm

England collapse to heavy defeat

Fourth Test, Johannesburg (day four): England 180 & 169-9 lost to South Africa 423-7 declared by an innings and 74 runs

By Oliver Brett

England crashed to defeat by an innings and 74 runs as South Africa's victory in the final Test in Johannesburg allowed them to draw the series.

A demoralised batting line-up went from an overnight 48-3 to 169 all out as the hosts wrapped up the match before lunch on the fourth day at the Wanderers.

Wayne Parnell struck first to remove Kevin Pietersen before an in-form Morne Morkel picked up the next three.

Paul Collingwood hit 71 but England were all out just before lunch.

Andrew Strauss's team had already lost its top order in the 13 overs available to South Africa's bowlers on the third evening.

And Pietersen could not get through the first hour of Sunday's play before driving at a wide delivery from Parnell and getting a thin edge to wicketkeeper Mark Boucher.

It ended a dreadful series for Pietersen - though Strauss, Jonathan Trott and Matt Prior have fared equally poorly with the bat - the wicket coming about as the batsman desperately went in search of a pressure-relieving boundary.

At the other end Collingwood opted to attack, smashing Morkel over the slip cordon for two boundaries and alternating pulls with drives when facing Dale Steyn.

Smith only gave Morkel a brief rest before the tall paceman changed ends and quickly removed Ian Bell - whose weakness for fending at short-pitched balls outside off-stump was exposed when a nick flew to Jacques Kallis in the slips at head height.

Prior must have reckoned he could size up Morkel from the pavilion, electing for an ambitious pull to only his second ball and top-edging a simple catch, before Stuart Broad gloved one down the leg-side.

Graeme Swann clattered three boundaries but eventually got a nasty ball from Steyn, and the edge was again greedily snaffled in the South African slip cordon.

Collingwood, England's best batsman of the series, hit Steyn for one memorable straight six but then swept JP Duminy's first ball, a horrible long-hop, down the throat of deep backward square-leg.

The match ended in the final over of the session when Ryan Sidebottom missed a sweep against Duminy, and was bowled.

The result was a vital one for South Africa, who had lost their last home Test series and had shuffled their bowling attack several times as they tried to find a formula to defeat England.

On a wicket that was always billed as the most bowler-friendly one of the series, they were nevertheless able to declare their first innings on 423-7.

And, although England were the victims of two controversial incidents that reflected badly on the new umpire decision review system, they were thoroughly outplayed by the hosts.

England's next assignment is a tour of Bangladesh, which may be more taxing than it sounds given that some players are expected to be rested and with a number of them not in the best of form.
Story from BBC SPORT:

Well in Saffas doing us colonials proud.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Rule 34 Probably

[Faithfree]

Just had a thoroughly enjoyably day eating and drinking too much and watching the Aussies fart in the face of England in the One Day International at the MCG!