I heard a story about Jesus
I heard a story about Jesus
My 4 year old came home from schoold today and said "Mummy, today at school I heard a story about Jesus. It was very sad because he died and then he came back alive. It was by the same man who wrote Funnybones."
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer
- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse. - Location: Nottingham UK
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
I hope you washed her mouth out with soap and water! Such filthy lies! 
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
You mean the new testament wasn't written by Allan Ahlberg?
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer
- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse. - Location: Nottingham UK
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
Might as well have been.MCJ wrote:You mean the new testament wasn't written by Allan Ahlberg?
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
The pictures'd have been better if he had.
"This is Jesus. See Jesus scourged and lots cast for his raiment. How many crucifixes can you see, children? See Jesus give up the ghost."
That's a winner in anybody's book.
"This is Jesus. See Jesus scourged and lots cast for his raiment. How many crucifixes can you see, children? See Jesus give up the ghost."
That's a winner in anybody's book.
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." - Charles Bukowski
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
I've left her in the hands of her atheist 6 year old sister. 
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
The Curious Squid
- Lazy Spic Bastard
- Posts: 7648
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:51 pm
- About me: a sexually deviant misogynist sexist pig who's into sex trafficking, sexual slavery, murder, bondage, rape and pre-frontal lobotomy of your victims.
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
That's fucking brilliant. Did you laugh when she said it or run straight for the PC to post the story? 
We have no great war, no great depression.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
JimC wrote:Ratz is just beautiful...
Where else could you go from the taste of raw egg to licking marmalade off tits in such a short space of time?
Pensioner wrote:I worked for 50 years and that's long enough for anyone, luckily I worked to live not lived for work.
Lozzer wrote:You ain't Scottish unless you live off Chicken nuggets, White Lightening and speak like an incomprehensible cow.
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
I love your kids! More anecdotes, please!MCJ wrote:My 4 year old came home from schoold today and said "Mummy, today at school I heard a story about Jesus. It was very sad because he died and then he came back alive. It was by the same man who wrote Funnybones."
"...anyone who says it’s “just the Internet” can. And then when they come back, they can
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
Heck, Geoff, don't start me. I have a book in which I've written all the priceless things they've said. It would have a thread all to itself!
Here's an example: at the end of last year they had obviously seen some charitable appeal on the tele because they came running to me asking if they could have an African child, saying "they're only 20p a week".
Here's an example: at the end of last year they had obviously seen some charitable appeal on the tele because they came running to me asking if they could have an African child, saying "they're only 20p a week".
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
The Curious Squid
- Lazy Spic Bastard
- Posts: 7648
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:51 pm
- About me: a sexually deviant misogynist sexist pig who's into sex trafficking, sexual slavery, murder, bondage, rape and pre-frontal lobotomy of your victims.
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
Why doesn't that thread already exist! It sounds like comedy gold (in a good way, not in a taking the piss out of your daughters way)
We have no great war, no great depression.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
JimC wrote:Ratz is just beautiful...
Where else could you go from the taste of raw egg to licking marmalade off tits in such a short space of time?
Pensioner wrote:I worked for 50 years and that's long enough for anyone, luckily I worked to live not lived for work.
Lozzer wrote:You ain't Scottish unless you live off Chicken nuggets, White Lightening and speak like an incomprehensible cow.
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
MCJ wrote:Heck, Geoff, don't start me. I have a book in which I've written all the priceless things they've said. It would have a thread all to itself!
Here's an example: at the end of last year they had obviously seen some charitable appeal on the tele because they came running to me asking if they could have an African child, saying "they're only 20p a week".
We're gonna need a new subforum!
"...anyone who says it’s “just the Internet” can
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
I just got the book out and already I'm crying with laughter!Paco wrote:Why doesn't that thread already exist! It sounds like comedy gold (in a good way, not in a taking the piss out of your daughters way)
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
The Curious Squid
- Lazy Spic Bastard
- Posts: 7648
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:51 pm
- About me: a sexually deviant misogynist sexist pig who's into sex trafficking, sexual slavery, murder, bondage, rape and pre-frontal lobotomy of your victims.
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
Stop teasing!MCJ wrote:I just got the book out and already I'm crying with laughter!Paco wrote:Why doesn't that thread already exist! It sounds like comedy gold (in a good way, not in a taking the piss out of your daughters way)
We have no great war, no great depression.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
Our great war is a spiritual war.
Our great depression is our lives.
JimC wrote:Ratz is just beautiful...
Where else could you go from the taste of raw egg to licking marmalade off tits in such a short space of time?
Pensioner wrote:I worked for 50 years and that's long enough for anyone, luckily I worked to live not lived for work.
Lozzer wrote:You ain't Scottish unless you live off Chicken nuggets, White Lightening and speak like an incomprehensible cow.
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
Re Avril Lavigne
"She looks like a right moody cow."
Pixie, aged nearly 3.
"She looks like a right moody cow."
Pixie, aged nearly 3.
Bloody Greta Garbo
-
Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer
- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse. - Location: Nottingham UK
- Contact:
Re: I heard a story about Jesus
MCJ wrote:Re Avril Lavigne
"She looks like a right moody cow."
Pixie, aged nearly 3.
Your daughters have clearly inherited your knack for cutting to the quick!
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests