Marriage and Atheism

[Bella Fortuna]

Even though I've had two unsuccessful marriages, I'm not at all turned against the concept, as I've seen plenty of marriages work out to marvellous effect. I've come to think of it as secondary, however, to the true commitment in a relationship that can exist with or without the social/religious ceremony of being wed.

You don't need the legal or religious process of marriage to be fully wedded to someone in your heart and mind, intention and behaviour.

[cowiz]

I really don't think I'll do it again myself. But to each their own...

[maiforpeace]

As our politicians here in the UK gear up for an election (around May time) they are establishing various positions. In terms of taxations, breaks and support the Conservatives (more or less the equivalent of the Republicans, though probably with fewer loonies..arguably) say they intend to support marriage by ensuring taxation favours them. Labour on the other hand (read Democrats..ish) say that the majority of lone parents are lone because of divorce, separation, bereavement and so on and to favour married couples would be discriminatory in effect. The media are trying to set this up as a polarising issue, though in reality it isn't.

Anyway - marriage, particularly as it relates to child rearing - what's your take?

What argument do the conservatives offer for tax breaks to married parents vs unmarried ones?

Fuck them all. As a childless married person I don't think parents deserve tax breaks for children, period.

Re: actual marriage itself? I was perfectly happy most of my life unmarried, and still see no reason to be married other than for purely practical ones. I am married now because my father promised to give me a hefty sum of money for a down payment on a house as a marriage gift if I married. Shawn and I have agreed that if it's financially more advantageous for us in our later years to be unmarried we will get a divorce.

[Sisifo]

Now it comes to my mind... As an anachronism, by the law, any Spaniard gets 15 days of paid holidays after getting married. I say anachronism, and offensive, because that was Francisco Franco's wedding gift to the married couples... It has never been ammended or disputed, but not married couples living together, and married gay couples, can't receive those holidays.
This is true.

[Feck]

" I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member "

[Bella Fortuna]

" I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member "

...and inside of a dog it's too dark to read...

[leo-rcc]

If two people want to pledge their love for each other in something official like a marriage, I am fine with that. I don't see the need to give a marriage special privileges over any other living arrangement though.

[Bella Fortuna]

If two people want to pledge their love for each other in something official like a marriage, I am fine with that. I don't see the need to give a marriage special privileges over any other living arrangement though.

Yep, I agree here.

[Ian]

If two people want to pledge their love for each other in something official like a marriage, I am fine with that. I don't see the need to give a marriage special privileges over any other living arrangement though.

Agree also.

I have no problem with the idea of marriage at all. Given modern thinking, though, it does at times seem a bit anachronistic. Two people who love each other can do just as well raising a family as two other people who love each other and are married. That being the case, marriage merely becomes an incentive because 1) it helps with your taxes and checking accounts, and 2) it's seen as an official promise not to break the union with your partner. I put the latter in 2nd place because of how often people end marriages nowadays! Marriage is no longer remotely "sacred" as it once was. Today, that's just lip service.

Anyway, I suppose I'm happy enough in my marriage. I'd be happier if my wife would occasionally bring other women to bed for threesomes, of course.

[Rum]

What argument do the conservatives offer for tax breaks to married parents vs unmarried ones?

Fuck them all. As a childless married person I don't think parents deserve tax breaks for children, period.

Re: actual marriage itself? I was perfectly happy most of my life unmarried, and still see no reason to be married other than for purely practical ones. I am married now because my father promised to give me a hefty sum of money for a down payment on a house as a marriage gift if I married. Shawn and I have agreed that if it's financially more advantageous for us in our later years to be unmarried we will get a divorce.

The argument goes that marriage produces a more stable environment for bringing up happier kids, who do better at school and grow up productive members of society, thus encouraging marriage, say by allowing a tax break, would end up benefiting kids.

Labour do seem to have looked into the issue ina bit more depth. They are saying that it is stability and commitment which kids thrive on. I tend to agree.

I am not currently married to my partner of the last 11 years. We have no plans. I have tried the alternative twice and this works just fine! We don't have kids though.

[The Red Fox]

The only reason for marriage is a practical, financial one in my opinion. As an institution it's pointless. A ring and a certificate aren't going to keep two people who've grown to hate each other together. Just be together and be happy, and if it all goes to pot there's no legal wrangling involved.

On another note, I see marriage as a patriarchal anachronism. Weddings I've been to seem to be very much like an exchange. Not to mention the whole 'contractual' thing applied to humans make me feel queasy. We're not goods.

[floppit]

You don't need the legal or religious process of marriage to be fully wedded to someone in your heart and mind, intention and behaviour.

If you don't have that the paper is worthless, if you do the paper still isn't the point!

We tied the knot in Doune Castle of Monty Python fame, 16 people present, including us and we all sat round one table for dinner after, then we just moved to the pub. For entertainment a local guy played an accordion and sang with ropey old bloke voice. Perfect!

[maiforpeace]

What argument do the conservatives offer for tax breaks to married parents vs unmarried ones?

Fuck them all. As a childless married person I don't think parents deserve tax breaks for children, period.

Re: actual marriage itself? I was perfectly happy most of my life unmarried, and still see no reason to be married other than for purely practical ones. I am married now because my father promised to give me a hefty sum of money for a down payment on a house as a marriage gift if I married. Shawn and I have agreed that if it's financially more advantageous for us in our later years to be unmarried we will get a divorce.

The argument goes that marriage produces a more stable environment for bringing up happier kids, who do better at school and grow up productive members of society, thus encouraging marriage, say by allowing a tax break, would end up benefiting kids.

Labour do seem to have looked into the issue ina bit more depth. They are saying that it is stability and commitment which kids thrive on. I tend to agree.

Me too. Some of the most well adjusted, happy kids I know are being raised in very non-traditional partnerships.

The marriage proponents fail to take into account the high rates of divorce, particularly in second and third marriages that are very likely to involve children. The trauma of divorce or the effect of an unhappy marriage on a child are pretty destabilizing forces on children.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Give me a few months.

[Bella Fortuna]

Give me a few months.