The economics of love, marriage, etc. Is this a good deal?

[FBM]

I love being married.

However, at a push I would go for number 2.

A good push is usually necessary when I'm doing a number 2.

[Drewish]

The only way to deal with this is to speculate wildly:

Face it, you're getting older and while the independence has been good, your desire for something more personable is building as old age looms ahead. This could be your last real chance to have that kind of life. Oh, but she's not really someone you're sure you can have that kind of relationship with. It would be totally physical and you know it, so would that really work for you? You know if it were a fling, you'd take it in a heart beat. You know that if it were someone you felt a real connection with you'd take it though perhaps more begrudgingly. But the sad truth is she's quickly approaching 30 and you're getting older, and the whole thing smells of desperation. Some people grow on each other, but are you willing to take that risk, and are you even still capable of doing that, or has life made you too jaded?

End speculation that may or may not be way off.

[Bella Fortuna]

Whether or not one loves being married has less to do with the concept itself but everything to do with the person you're married to... speaking as someone twice-divorced but who would marry one other person in a heartbeat...

If she isn't a person who makes you feel you would love to be married, then she isn't the right person for a committed, long-term relationship. And if you're put off of the idea of marriage because your conception of what marriage must be is at odds with what you really want, then you have to be willing to take the consequences of that, positive and negative. But a marriage should only be what the partners jointly want, not some stereotype that's there to live up to others' expectations. Maybe where you live you haven't much chance of finding someone who could think more non-traditionally when it comes to relationships and perhaps be better aligned to what you'd want.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?
Don't ask these people for advice. Ever.

First thing to ignore is BAA's advice.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

FBM/BMF/MBF/EIEIO, consider your largest "domestic" outlay, rent. That wouldn't change if you added another person to the household, in most cases. Two people don't need twice the room of one. Utilities will go up slightly. And food won't go up much if you start saying, "Um, have you gained a few pounds?"

[Bella Fortuna]

Economics of marriage I get, but economics of love ... ?

Yes. The one who loves least controls the relationship. It's a power-and-control issue.

That post alone screams "Don't even consider it!"

[Drewish]

Only Milli Vanilli can melt this heart of ice

[Pappa]

Economics of marriage I get, but economics of love ... ?

Yes. The one who loves least controls the relationship. It's a power-and-control issue.

That post alone screams "Don't even consider it!"

+1

[klr]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?
Don't ask these people for advice. Ever.

First thing to ignore is BAA's advice.

Second thing is to ignore 'Zilla's advice ...

[Pappa]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?
Don't ask these people for advice. Ever.

First thing to ignore is BAA's advice.

Second thing is to ignore 'Zilla's advice ...

And whatever you do don't listen to klr.

[Trolldor]

Better to just stab yourself in the face.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I say try before you buy. Give each of the sisters a road test and compare the extras provided with each. See if a two-for-one deal is available, perhaps? Or could you take one or both of them on a lease-hire basis? It is definitely worth haggling to get the bast deal.

Oh, and don't take my advice either - it usually sucks when it involves women.

[FBM]

The only way to deal with this is to speculate wildly:

Face it, you're getting older and while the independence has been good, your desire for something more personable is building as old age looms ahead. This could be your last real chance to have that kind of life. Oh, but she's not really someone you're sure you can have that kind of relationship with. It would be totally physical and you know it, so would that really work for you? You know if it were a fling, you'd take it in a heart beat. You know that if it were someone you felt a real connection with you'd take it though perhaps more begrudgingly. But the sad truth is she's quickly approaching 30 and you're getting older, and the whole thing smells of desperation. Some people grow on each other, but are you willing to take that risk, and are you even still capable of doing that, or has life made you too jaded?

End speculation that may or may not be way off.

To the contrary, you're right on the money with a lot of it, and very close with other bits. (I really don't have a desire for something more personable as old age looms.)

[FBM]

Economics of marriage I get, but economics of love ... ?

Yes. The one who loves least controls the relationship. It's a power-and-control issue.

That post alone screams "Don't even consider it!"

Wait, that wasn't my idea. I read it in some psychology journal years ago. I subsequently observed various relationships in light of it, including some of my own, and found it to be largely true. I didn't say that to be pessimistic or calculating.

[Bella Fortuna]

Economics of marriage I get, but economics of love ... ?

Yes. The one who loves least controls the relationship. It's a power-and-control issue.

That post alone screams "Don't even consider it!"

Wait, that wasn't my idea. I read it in some psychology journal years ago. I subsequently observed various relationships in light of it, including some of my own, and found it to be largely true. I didn't say that to be pessimistic or calculating.

Uh-huh. You and your bacon will be very happy together...