Meanwhile, in Florida...

[Sean Hayden]

Florida Man, Thinking He Hears a Home Intruder, Shoots and Kills His Pregnant Wife: 'My Life is Over'

This is one those accidental shootings I was talking about. I know it seems cruel to doubt, but you don't accidentally shoot your wife because you heard an intruder. It doesn't make sense.

[JimC]

My life with my wife is over.

My life with my secretary is just beginning...

[Sean Hayden]

[laklak]

Didn't work for Oscar Pistorius.

[Animavore]

Man shoots doctor after ejaculating during prostate exam

https://www.web24.news/u/2020/09/man-sh ... -exam.html

How did this get by?

[laklak]

Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.

[Animavore]

When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?

[Tero]

Here you go

3D2D72AA-7E45-4388-8F62-BF83E0EAD375.jpeg (104.89 KiB) Viewed 1960 times

[Svartalf]

Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.

He knows you'd bite his nose off.

[Svartalf]

When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?

the bayou.


and how do you know a kerryman is going to a weddiing?



waxed wellies.

[Tero]

Trailerpark.

[Scot Dutchy]

Well known to certain members.

[Seabass]

In a dramatic encounter recorded by surveillance cameras, a Florida man chased an alligator under water and rescued his 3-month-old puppy from the jaws of death.

Richard Wilbanks, 74, of Estero ran into his backyard pond, wrestled the gator above surface, and pried its jaws open to free Gunner, his Cavalier King Charles spaniel.

"We were just out walking by the pond," Wilbanks told CNN, "and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick."

He said adrenaline or instinct kicked in, and "I just automatically jumped into the water."

Holding the alligator wasn't so tough, but prying open the jaws was "extremely hard," he said.

Wilbanks said his hands were "chewed up," and he went to a doctor for a tetanus shot.

Gunner had one puncture wound in his belly and did fine after a trip to the veterinarian's office.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/21/us/puppy ... index.html

[JimC]

Man is a dog's best friend...

[Seabass]

Florida Man is a dog's best friend...