Local news...not The Onion

[Tero]

Post stories worthy of The Onion but real.

In one of the cases, a business near 13th and N Streets was burglarized on August 21.

Surveillance video showed the suspect taking 3 cans of Mountain Dew, a 2 liter of Mountain Dew, a Starbucks Frappe and Swiss Miss hot chocolate.

The suspect also took his time to make two cups of coffee, and had to steal a mug so he could take it 'to go.'

On his way out of the business, the suspect stole an expensive tablet.

[Tero]

Florida man parks...
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fl ... d_nn_fb_ma

[Tero]

It's like Florida. But without alligators or any sort of creative spin.

[laklak]

Bradenton last night (just across the river from the marina). Guy wakes up to find some dude has broken into his house and is sucking on his toes. Fight ensues. Toe sucker tries to fondle the guy's junk and gets beat up. Cops are called. Toe sucker comes back and breaks house window, jumps on victims car and stomps in windscreen, then runs away. Cops bring in dogs but suspect escapes. This is why we call it "Bradentucky".

https://www.fox13news.com/news/deputies ... rdHk5Bf0Js

[Sean Hayden]

--gatormeth and the hornies, -shudder-

[Tero]

Loitering, marijuana

[Tero]

Some kond of brawl, resisting arrest

[Tero]

[Tero]

Area woman avoids getting pulled into pallet chipper
https://www.1011now.com/content/news/Gr ... 88461.html

[Tero]

UK has 2 fewer royal parasites to support. Meghan and Harry to be mainstramed?

[Tero]

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/p ... royal-exit

[Tero]

The colored royal duchess returns to the provinces, having rejected Sussex.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... e-solution

[Sean Hayden]

Hella purse strings that eh?

[Tero]

An RV park is going up there. Must be the SE farm lot with no house. Must be easier than growing growing soybeans there. It is some 6 miles N of the interstate. The roads are paved, so that is the advantage.

Which would you like, rural folks? Wind turbines or traffic from mobile home park?

[Woodbutcher]

21B8FA79-DBE6-4DD4-A44D-373CC5A166F4.png
An RV park is going up there. Must be the SE farm lot with no house. Must be easier than growing growing soybeans there. It is some 6 miles N of the interstate. The roads are paved, so that is the advantage.

Which would you like, rural folks? Wind turbines or traffic from mobile home park?

Wind turbines, fer sure! Dead birds= supper. Better than roadkill for us geezers. Sometimes roadkill tastes somewhat rubbery...