Some extracts:
We may as well start at the top, with this wretched creature — the CO2-doesn't-cause-warming zombie.
Your defence? Yes. Yes it does.
The first scientist to show the link between CO2 and warming was Irish physicist and atmospheric scientist John Tyndall in 1859.
He found that water vapour, carbon dioxide and ozone were the best absorbers of atmospheric heat.
Then in 1896, another man with facial hair and a science degree called Svante Arrhenius showed just how much warming we could expect from burning fossil fuels.
But CO2 was below 300 parts per million at the time, and his findings were more of a scientific interest than cause for concern.
Now, more than 100 years later, there's been plenty of research into CO2, but as far as its effect on atmospheric warming goes not much has changed, according to Mark Howden, director of the Climate Change Institute and a vice chair of the IPCC.
"Anyone who says that this doesn't happen has to catch up with 150 years worth of science," Professor Howden said.
"The argument that small concentrations don't matter is an absolutely ridiculous one.
"You wouldn't propose that anyone take half a teaspoon of potassium cyanide — it's a small concentration in your body but we know it's fatal."
"[And] the scale of the increase [of CO2] is huge. In my lifetime it's gone up 100 parts per million."
And while we're on the topic, volcanoes — sometimes blamed for releasing more CO2 than humans — release only about 1 per cent of the CO2 that we do.
Unlike the end-Permian, volcanic activity on Earth right now is pretty low by geological standards, yet CO2 is rising faster and higher than it has been for as far back as our ice cores can show — about 800,000 years.
And we know that's because we're burning fossil fuels, according to Professor Howden.
"CO2 concentrations were 280ppm in the pre-industrial era, and they're now at 415ppm," he said.
"It's definitely due to humans because the isotopic signature of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has changed and it reflects the fact that additional carbon dioxide is being added from fossil fuels."
"Carbon dioxide from fossil fuels has a different isotopic signature from carbon dioxide from say, decomposing trees or grass."
Climate science is a conspiracy of the 'elites'
This one has many guises but basically says that there's a group of governments and global elites that stand to benefit from hoaxing the world into believing the climate is changing.
It's not that we should inherently trust governments, but instead that we should have a healthy scepticism of their competence.
To pull off this feat, so the conspiracy goes, they've conscripted groups including NASA, the Australian Bureau of Meteorology, the UK Met Office, the CIA, thousands of climate scientists and universities wordwide, among a raft of others.
A well-known internet meme summarises it thusly:
"The plot: 97 per cent of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, only to be exposed by a plucky band of billionaires and oil companies."
