Sympathy for Joseph

[mistermack]

He must have had the tolerance of a saint.

Not only does his ''virgin'' wife get pregnant, and come up with the most ludicrous excuse, but his ''son'' Jesus reveals that he can turn water into top-quality wine, and a few loaves and fishes into a huge catering enterprise.

That's after thirty years of hard grafting as a carpenter. And the little sod just did the wine trick for one wedding, and never bothered again.

And what did he say, when asked why he couldn't repeat the trick?
'' I move in mysterious ways ''.

I know what ways I'd tell him to move in.

[devogue]

I disagree. I think Joseph got Mary pregnant the came up with the Messiah story because he was scared of Mary's unhinged father, Digger.

[mistermack]

I disagree. I think Joseph got Mary pregnant the came up with the Messiah story because he was scared of Mary's unhinged father, Digger.

Well who wouldn't be scared? Digger threatened to bust his ass.

[Svartalf]

It wasn't Joe got mary preggers, it was that ne'er do well Gabriel, who probably came up with the "it's god's will" fib too... Mary wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed either.

[mistermack]

Funny thing is that Jesus had several brothers according to the gospels.
Mind you, they could have been from a previous marriage, or not actual brothers at all.

But by the fourth century, it was doctrine that Mary was always a virgin, even after giving birth, so poor old Joe never dipped his wick in Mary, even after the birth.

[laklak]

Maybe he just turned her over and played the B side?

[Svartalf]

I bet he dipped a lot, just to make up for not being Jesus' dad

[Svartalf]

Maybe he just turned her over and played the B side?

That's supposedly how Joan of Arc remained a virgin despite being notoriously close to her captain Gillles de Retz

[laklak]

It's common in certain cultures.

[Brian Peacock]

He did have a technicolour dream coat though, which must have been a great comfort.

[laklak]

Jimi sang about him.

Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady
You know I caught her messin' 'round with another man
And that ain't too cool.

[JimC]

We should combine 2 threads.

Then we'd have Sympathy for the Devil...

[DaveDodo007]

He must have had the tolerance of a saint.

Not only does his ''virgin'' wife get pregnant, and come up with the most ludicrous excuse, but his ''son'' Jesus reveals that he can turn water into top-quality wine, and a few loaves and fishes into a huge catering enterprise.

That's after thirty years of hard grafting as a carpenter. And the little sod just did the wine trick for one wedding, and never bothered again.

And what did he say, when asked why he couldn't repeat the trick?
'' I move in mysterious ways ''.

I know what ways I'd tell him to move in.

He is a cuckold, must have been an early feminist male.

[Feck]

My god you ARE a fucking twat, Dave ..i told you EVERY POST YOU MAKE I'LL be here pointing out you are a sexist stain and an embarrassment .

[DaveDodo007]

My god you ARE a fucking twat, Dave ..i told you EVERY POST YOU MAKE I'LL be here pointing out you are a sexist stain and an embarrassment .

Just admit it, you love me and have a hard on for me. I'm no homo but I can understand the allure.