Some of the biblical God's greatest bloopers

[piscator]

A set that has infinite members of any number, prove that the number 42 doesn't exist in it. Can't be done.

It's a Mystery Set!

[Lion IRC]

It is true that religious people all agree that God is beautiful and worthy of their desire to please.

Not if God happens to be Loki or Zeus.

[piscator]

It is true that religious people all agree that God is beautiful and worthy of their desire to please.

Not if God happens to be Loki or Zeus.

The elephant can't speak. Are you saying God can't speak?

Why did the lazy blind fucks all ignore that each part he touched was connected to more, did some priest come along nail their feet to the ground so they couldn't reach?

[pErvinalia]

Paging a moderator/admin, STAT!

[L'Emmerdeur]

Created an immense universe for us to live in (it seems clear from the Bible that that was his reason for creating the universe, right?), most of which is not just uninhabitable, but downright lethal.

To you....

Could be anthropocentric hubris to assume that God didn't create the universe with lots of other species in mind, including ones that can survive in the vacuum of intergalactic space.

Or perhaps interstellar vacuum is God's Level 1 biohazard containment method.

Not to me. . . .

It should be clear to anybody who read my post and bothered to use their head that I was pointing out the "anthropocentric hubris" which is found in the Bible. Remember this thread is nominally about the biblical god's bloopers.

[Hermit]

Turning to the creation of Adam and Eve (how do we even know their names before god invented the birth certificate?), they had several children. Yeah. That's only natural. People fuck. But god also said that incest is a big nono. So, who did their children fuck in order to procreate?

Did God say that? Where?

Leviticus 20:11-21, Leviticus 18:8-18, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Deuteronomy 22:30 among others.

It's not a matter of removing mosquitoes from the ecosystem. God should not have created them in the fist place. And if he created other animals that had to rely on them for survival, well more bloopers then, right? God really is an incompetent fool. In Soviet Russia he would have been made #1 Kommissar. If he existed, of course.

And now you're trying to tell God what he should and should not have created?

I'm not telling god anything. I'm just opining that creating the mosquito is one of the biblical god's bloopers. The mosquito has not a single redeeming feature. Not a good thing to introduce to the garden of Eden. Especially not before "the fall".

[Seth]

Turning to the creation of Adam and Eve (how do we even know their names before god invented the birth certificate?), they had several children. Yeah. That's only natural. People fuck. But god also said that incest is a big nono. So, who did their children fuck in order to procreate?

Did God say that? Where?

Leviticus 20:11-21, Leviticus 18:8-18, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Deuteronomy 22:30 among others.

Where is your critically robust scientific evidence that God spoke those words?

It's not a matter of removing mosquitoes from the ecosystem. God should not have created them in the fist place. And if he created other animals that had to rely on them for survival, well more bloopers then, right? God really is an incompetent fool. In Soviet Russia he would have been made #1 Kommissar. If he existed, of course.

And now you're trying to tell God what he should and should not have created?

I'm not telling god anything. I'm just opining that creating the mosquito is one of the biblical god's bloopers. The mosquito has not a single redeeming feature. Not a good thing to introduce to the garden of Eden. Especially not before "the fall".

I refer you to the Book of Job. Perhaps God did it just to annoy you, in which case he did a magnificent job, didn't he?

[piscator]

Turning to the creation of Adam and Eve (how do we even know their names before god invented the birth certificate?), they had several children. Yeah. That's only natural. People fuck. But god also said that incest is a big nono. So, who did their children fuck in order to procreate?

Did God say that? Where?

Leviticus 20:11-21, Leviticus 18:8-18, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Deuteronomy 22:30 among others.

Where is your critically robust scientific evidence that God spoke those words?

It's not a matter of removing mosquitoes from the ecosystem. God should not have created them in the fist place. And if he created other animals that had to rely on them for survival, well more bloopers then, right? God really is an incompetent fool. In Soviet Russia he would have been made #1 Kommissar. If he existed, of course.

And now you're trying to tell God what he should and should not have created?

I'm not telling god anything. I'm just opining that creating the mosquito is one of the biblical god's bloopers. The mosquito has not a single redeeming feature. Not a good thing to introduce to the garden of Eden. Especially not before "the fall".

I refer you to the Book of Job. Perhaps God did it just to annoy you, in which case he did a magnificent job, didn't he?

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[Hermit]

Turning to the creation of Adam and Eve (how do we even know their names before god invented the birth certificate?), they had several children. Yeah. That's only natural. People fuck. But god also said that incest is a big nono. So, who did their children fuck in order to procreate?

Did God say that? Where?

Leviticus 20:11-21, Leviticus 18:8-18, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Deuteronomy 22:30 among others.

Where is your critically robust scientific evidence that God spoke those words?

Since when has the Bible any connection with critically robust scientific evidence? At any rate, you have asserted that the Bible itself is evidence, and the claim is made within the Bible:

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. [Revelations 22:18-19]

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you [Deuteronomy 4:2]

It is also asserted outside the Bible that the authors of the various books in the Bible basically wrote down the words god dictated to them. Saint Thomas Aquinas, for instance, regarded every single word therein as the very breath of God.

Not that any of this matters anyhow. You can quibble about authorship as much as you like, but no matter what you opine about it, this remains indisputable: The Bible condemns incest in several places, and in at least one of them commands the stoning to death of perpetrators. The Bible is also the one volume always at hand on every pulpit of every Christian church.

[Seth]

Turning to the creation of Adam and Eve (how do we even know their names before god invented the birth certificate?), they had several children. Yeah. That's only natural. People fuck. But god also said that incest is a big nono. So, who did their children fuck in order to procreate?

Did God say that? Where?

Leviticus 20:11-21, Leviticus 18:8-18, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Deuteronomy 22:30 among others.

Where is your critically robust scientific evidence that God spoke those words?

Since when has the Bible any connection with critically robust scientific evidence? At any rate, you have asserted that the Bible itself is evidence, and the claim is made within the Bible:

I said it was evidence. I didn't say it was good evidence and I didn't say what it was evidence of.

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. [Revelations 22:18-19]

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you [Deuteronomy 4:2]

Sounds like the authors, or the transcribers, didn't want anybody editing the work. Again, in order to malign God for "saying" such things you first have to prove that God actually said those things, and your reference to the Bible is merely a tautology.

It is also asserted outside the Bible that the authors of the various books in the Bible basically wrote down the words god dictated to them. Saint Thomas Aquinas, for instance, regarded every single word therein as the very breath of God.

Dude, he was on LSD at the time...

Not that any of this matters anyhow. You can quibble about authorship as much as you like, but no matter what you opine about it, this remains indisputable: The Bible condemns incest in several places, and in at least one of them commands the stoning to death of perpetrators. The Bible is also the one volume always at hand on every pulpit of every Christian church.

And that's a problem because...?? There are circumstances of incest where I'd be glad to stone the perp to death, or just shoot him in the head. Like the guy who just raped his own 8 year old daughter to death. If he gets convicted, I think they should do him in the alley out back of the courthouse five minutes after he's convicted in a fair trial by a jury of his peers.

[Hermit]

Seth, the Bible clearly condemns incest. The Bible is the one volume always at hand on every pulpit of every Christian church. The Bible does not explain how Adam and Eve's son procreated without committing incest. All we know is that "Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch." [Genesis 4:17] While the Bible does not mention any daughters Adam and Eve might have had, it is pretty positive that he initially created that pair and nobody else. That's pretty much a central dogma to the various flavours of Christianity. Bit of a blooper, that.

[Seth]

Seth, the Bible clearly condemns incest.

Indeed. And sodomy, homosexuality and bestiality among other sins.

The Bible is the one volume always at hand on every pulpit of every Christian church.

Yes, so?

The Bible does not explain how Adam and Eve's son procreated without committing incest.

Is the Bible required to do so? Who made up that rule? I think if God wants to leave it a mystery as to how Adam and Eve procreated he can do so. Maybe he created a bunch of other people after Adam and Eve and just chose not to tell the authors of the Bible about it.

All we know is that "Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch." [Genesis 4:17] While the Bible does not mention any daughters Adam and Eve might have had, it is pretty positive that he initially created that pair and nobody else. That's pretty much a central dogma to the various flavours of Christianity. Bit of a blooper, that.

Or merely an error or omission in editing. Perhaps there's a missing paragraph or two explaining how God provided the others. Perhaps through parthenogenesis for the first few generations. Or perhaps he gave Adam and Eve special dispensation given their unique situation. Perhaps he didn't decide till later to ban incest.

Who knows? Who cares?

[rachelbean]

Paging a moderator/admin, STAT!

Moved all the shit to where it belongs. I think we can officially classify him as a spammer now hopefully

[Hermit]

The Bible does not explain how Adam and Eve's son procreated without committing incest.

Is the Bible required to do so?

Who said it is? The facts remain that Cain had no known way of not committing incest when he procreated and the holy text of Christendom condemns incest. Bloop.

[piscator]

Well, there was Lilith.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.