Why I Have Become A Christian

[Svartalf]

I'd like to be a happy-clappy Christian. Surely it's got to be better than being an unhappy nihilist atheist cuntbag.

I wish I had faith enough to be happy and stupid, but I can't.

[pErvinalia]

Yeah. Life would be more fun (for us), wouldn't it?

[Mark Dreher]

I'd like to be a happy-clappy Christian. Surely it's got to be better than being an unhappy nihilist atheist cuntbag.

I wish I had faith enough to be happy and stupid, but I can't.

Well, to be honest, the "relationship, with God?"

Is Hell.

Initially.

Always "testing you", seemingly? "being mean."

This, is written of, in First Peter, 6:7, "you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, 7so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ".

Is how it works.

[Mark Dreher]

Yeah. Life would be more fun (for us), wouldn't it?

For a while, it would.

God, really only wants grace, i.e. "respect", is that all that hard?

No, God, is "simple, and cuddly".

A teddy bear, ready.

[Svartalf]

Sorry, but I've been tried job style and just broke
No way I'm worshipping the Dog of Cruelty.

[Mark Dreher]

Sorry, but I've been tried job style and just broke
No way I'm worshiping the Dog of Cruelty.

It is not worship

It is "a relationship".

A love relationship.

[Seth]

I've seen a light. Been in darkness. Hopeless and lost. Now I've seen a light. Won't preach. My sinning list is long and was way out of hand. Needed forgiveness. Asked Jesus. This is what he said. He said 'Scump. You are the sheep that was lost. I'm so pleased to have found you.' Then that was it. I'd been forgiven. And he didn't even ask about the other larger list of sins I'd thrown away in the waste paper basket. Result.

According to the authorities, God doesn't need a written list, he knows what's written on your hearts, and when he forgives one sin, he forgives them all.

[Seth]

Did he say anything about going forth, and multiplying?

If he did, can you ask him to point me in the right direction? I wouldn't mind helping out, but I need to know where to look.

Um, perhaps he doesn't want you multiplying...

[Seth]

I'd like to be a happy-clappy Christian. Surely it's got to be better than being an unhappy nihilist atheist cuntbag.

Could be. Can't hurt to give it a bash, can it?

[Seth]

I'd like to be a happy-clappy Christian. Surely it's got to be better than being an unhappy nihilist atheist cuntbag.

I wish I had faith enough to be happy and stupid, but I can't.

Prefrontal lobotomy is a useful substitute...

[pErvinalia]

It's impossible to become a stupid person once you are already a rationalist. Outside of brain injury, that is. I've joked before that I'd like my friends to organise a frontal lobotomy without telling me. I would be blissfully happy after that, I imagine. Just like being a religionist.

edit: you beat me to it.

[Mark Dreher]

According to the authorities, God doesn't need a written list, he knows what's written on your hearts, and when he forgives one sin, he forgives them all.

God don't care, about your sins.

At all, that is a misnomer.

The book of life, contains only two things, "your date, and your fate".

That's all??

Obviously, "a ruse", has been pulled.

God cares?

If you like her.

Period.

Do you like God?

We can do a test, do you like "cuddly dogs?"

Yes?

God, is in the size and shape, of "a baby orangutan", who just "wants to constantly cuddle".

No list.

Just cuddling.

[Mark Dreher]

Um, perhaps he doesn't want you multiplying...

I already have a child.

Two times two is three.

I think

No four

Definitely four.

[Mark Dreher]

Could be. Can't hurt to give it a bash, can it?

It does sound like fun, actually.

Any way you look at it.

Even standing on your head

I tried that

Still looked good.

[Mark Dreher]

Prefrontal lobotomy is a useful substitute...

Prefrontal??

Any lobotomy in the storm.

Beggars can't be choosers.