Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

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Xamonas Chegwé
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Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:48 pm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-24116694

Bloody trees! :lay:

Happened right outside a pub too - I'll bet the bloody bush had been knocking back the port - can't hold their booze, trees. :nono:
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by samphony » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:53 pm

Worse than those cunts that chucked their apples at Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz. It was a gentler time back then. Hell in a handcart etc.

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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by tattuchu » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:25 am

There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:28 am

tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now. :nono:
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:31 am

One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:35 am

hadespussercats wrote:
tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now. :nono:
Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem. :nono:
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 am

hadespussercats wrote:One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
The Guardian is a left-leaning newspaper here in the UK. Accordingly, their angels are unmotivated, work-shy fops that drink away their dull existences, spending our hard-earned, taxpayer money in the process. She would have done better to have employed the services of a libertarian angel, who would have shot the tree before it could hurt anyone (and any other tree it could find in the vicinity, just in case.) :tea:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
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Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 am

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
hadespussercats wrote:
tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now. :nono:
Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem. :nono:
I kept a log, just in case.
The green careening planet
spins blindly in the dark
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:41 am

hadespussercats wrote:
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
hadespussercats wrote:
tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now. :nono:
Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem. :nono:
I kept a log, just in case.
:hehe:

If only more women would take a leaf out of your book.
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing :nono:
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Bella Fortuna » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:41 am

hadespussercats wrote:
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
hadespussercats wrote:
tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now. :nono:
Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem. :nono:
I kept a log, just in case.
All the experts will advise that you leaf. Just shoot right on out of there.
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by JimC » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:50 am

Xamonas Chegwé wrote:
hadespussercats wrote:One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
The Guardian is a left-leaning newspaper here in the UK. Accordingly, their angels are unmotivated, work-shy fops that drink away their dull existences, spending our hard-earned, taxpayer money in the process. She would have done better to have employed the services of a libertarian angel, who would have shot the tree before it could hurt anyone (and any other tree it could find in the vicinity, just in case.) :tea:
:lol:
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by SteveB » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:52 am

Tolkien was right. :nervous:

Be on the look out for a flaming red vagina next.
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Bella Fortuna » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:57 am

You can get a cream for that...
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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by laklak » Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:55 am

In order to stem the tide of arboreal violence we must first determine the roots of the problem, then nip it in the bud.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Woman Survives Savage Attack (by a Tree!)

Post by Azathoth » Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:20 am

FFS. They actually paid someone money to write that drivel
Outside the ordered universe is that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes.

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