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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer

- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
- Location: Nottingham UK
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Contact:
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by Xamonas Chegwé » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:48 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-24116694
Bloody trees!
Happened right outside a pub too - I'll bet the bloody bush had been knocking back the port - can't hold their booze, trees.

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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samphony
- Posts: 203
- Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:10 am
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Contact:
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by samphony » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:53 pm
Worse than those cunts that chucked their apples at Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz. It was a gentler time back then. Hell in a handcart etc.
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tattuchu
- a dickload of cocks
- Posts: 21890
- Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:59 pm
- About me: I'm having trouble with the trolley.
- Location: Marmite-upon-Toast, Wankershire
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Contact:
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by tattuchu » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:25 am
There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
People think "queue" is just "q" followed by 4 silent letters.
But those letters are not silent.
They're just waiting their turn.
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hadespussercats
- I've come for your pants.
- Posts: 18586
- Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:27 am
- About me: Looks pretty good, coming out of the back of his neck like that.
- Location: Gotham
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Contact:
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by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:28 am
tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now.

The green careening planet
spins blindly in the dark
so close to annihilation.
Listen. No one listens. Meow.
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hadespussercats
- I've come for your pants.
- Posts: 18586
- Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:27 am
- About me: Looks pretty good, coming out of the back of his neck like that.
- Location: Gotham
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Contact:
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by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:31 am
One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
The green careening planet
spins blindly in the dark
so close to annihilation.
Listen. No one listens. Meow.
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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer

- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
- Location: Nottingham UK
-
Contact:
Post
by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:35 am
hadespussercats wrote:tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now.

Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem.

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer

- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
- Location: Nottingham UK
-
Contact:
Post
by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 am
hadespussercats wrote:One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
The Guardian is a left-leaning newspaper here in the UK. Accordingly, their angels are unmotivated, work-shy fops that drink away their dull existences, spending our hard-earned, taxpayer money in the process. She would have done better to have employed the services of a libertarian angel, who would have shot the tree before it could hurt anyone (and any other tree it could find in the vicinity, just in case.)

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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hadespussercats
- I've come for your pants.
- Posts: 18586
- Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:27 am
- About me: Looks pretty good, coming out of the back of his neck like that.
- Location: Gotham
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Contact:
Post
by hadespussercats » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:39 am
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:hadespussercats wrote:tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now.

Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem.

I kept a log, just in case.
The green careening planet
spins blindly in the dark
so close to annihilation.
Listen. No one listens. Meow.
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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer

- Posts: 50939
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:23 pm
- About me: I have prehensile eyebrows.
I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
- Location: Nottingham UK
-
Contact:
Post
by Xamonas Chegwé » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:41 am
hadespussercats wrote:Xamonas Chegwé wrote:hadespussercats wrote:tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now.

Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem.

I kept a log, just in case.
If only more women would take a leaf out of your book.
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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Bella Fortuna
- Sister Golden Hair
- Posts: 79685
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:45 am
- About me: Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
- Location: Scotlifornia
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Contact:
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by Bella Fortuna » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:41 am
hadespussercats wrote:Xamonas Chegwé wrote:hadespussercats wrote:tattuchu wrote:There seems to be a lot of this going around. Hades suffered an unpleasant engagement with a tree just recently.
My bruise is even more colorful now.

Looks like you broke off the engagement just in time! Arboreal Spousal Abuse (ASP) is a growing problem.

I kept a log, just in case.
All the experts will advise that you leaf. Just shoot right on out of there.
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JimC
- The sentimental bloke
- Posts: 74306
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
- About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Contact:
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by JimC » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:50 am
Xamonas Chegwé wrote:hadespussercats wrote:One wonders why the "guardian angel" couldn't have kept the tree away from the car entirely. Was the guardian angel a bit drunk, too?
The Guardian is a left-leaning newspaper here in the UK. Accordingly, their angels are unmotivated, work-shy fops that drink away their dull existences, spending our hard-earned, taxpayer money in the process. She would have done better to have employed the services of a libertarian angel, who would have shot the tree before it could hurt anyone (and any other tree it could find in the vicinity, just in case.)


Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
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SteveB
- Nibbler
- Posts: 7506
- Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:38 am
- About me: The more you change the less you feel
- Location: Potsville, BC, Canada
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Contact:
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by SteveB » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:52 am
Tolkien was right.
Be on the look out for a flaming red vagina next.
Twit, twat,
twaddle.
hadespussercats wrote:I've been de-sigged!

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Bella Fortuna
- Sister Golden Hair
- Posts: 79685
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:45 am
- About me: Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
- Location: Scotlifornia
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Contact:
Post
by Bella Fortuna » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:57 am
You can get a cream for that...
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laklak
- Posts: 21022
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- About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
- Location: Tannhauser Gate
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Contact:
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by laklak » Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:55 am
In order to stem the tide of arboreal violence we must first determine the roots of the problem, then nip it in the bud.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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Azathoth
- blind idiot god

- Posts: 9418
- Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:31 pm
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Contact:
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by Azathoth » Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:20 am
FFS. They actually paid someone money to write that drivel
Outside the ordered universe is that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes.
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