That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
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Mysturji
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That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
Sir Figg Newton wrote:If I have seen further than others, it is only because I am surrounded by midgets.
IDMD2Cormac wrote:Doom predictors have been with humans right through our history. They are like the proverbial stopped clock - right twice a day, but not due to the efficacy of their prescience.
I am a twit.
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JacksSmirkingRevenge
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Re: That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
It was bound to ketchup with him eventually... (I'll get me coat.....)
Sent from my Interositor using Twatatalk.
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Kristie
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Re: That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
JacksSmirkingRevenge wrote:(I'll get me coat.....)
Tigger used to say that all the time! I even heard it in his voice when I read it!
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mistermack
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Re: That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
Having a prostitute in your car isn't illegal. They must travel by car sometimes.
What's illegal is picking them up off the street for sex. He must have given the game away, somehow. Or maybe she did.
The cashpoint is a bit of a giveaway though. But it doesn't prove that he stopped on the street, and solicited sex.
The moral is, if you must use hookers, get your story straight first. And keep away from cashpoints. And tomatoes.
Or remember the old rhymes.
If a prozzie ever says "fucky fucky, you got lucky", you answer, "wanky wanky, money in banky."
What's illegal is picking them up off the street for sex. He must have given the game away, somehow. Or maybe she did.
The cashpoint is a bit of a giveaway though. But it doesn't prove that he stopped on the street, and solicited sex.
The moral is, if you must use hookers, get your story straight first. And keep away from cashpoints. And tomatoes.
Or remember the old rhymes.
If a prozzie ever says "fucky fucky, you got lucky", you answer, "wanky wanky, money in banky."
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.
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FBM
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She was "showing me where to buy tomatos." :euphemism:
Hey, sweets. Know where I can buy some tomatos?
Tomato excuse for prostitute in car in Walsall
A man caught with a prostitute in his car told police she was there to show him where to buy tomatoes.
West Midlands Police said officers found the woman sitting inside Muhammad Ikhlaq's car while he withdrew £20 from a cash machine, which he said was to pay for tomatoes.
Ikhlaq, 39, of New Street, Dudley, was found guilty of soliciting and fined £400 at Walsall Magistrates' Court.
He was also ordered to pay £665 in costs on Wednesday.
Ikhlaq was spotted by officers who saw the known sex worker in his Nissan Micra car in Wednesbury Road, Walsall, on 9 May.
PC Stacey Paterson, from Walsall police, said: "I've heard some excuses before but in the 10 years that I have been a police officer I have never heard a kerb crawler covering up his crimes by claiming to be buying tomatoes.
"Our officers and the courts saw through his lies and [Ikhlaq] has now been found guilty."
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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Xamonas Chegwé
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Re: She was "showing me where to buy tomatos." :euphemism:
L8
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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FBM
- Ratz' first Gritizen.
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Re: She was "showing me where to buy tomatos." :euphemism:
Where?"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer
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I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse. - Location: Nottingham UK
- Contact:
Re: She was "showing me where to buy tomatos." :euphemism:
The thread I just merged it into!FBM wrote:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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mistermack
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Re: She was "showing me where to buy tomatos." :euphemism:
There's already a thread, in news and vegetable affairs.FBM wrote:
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.
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Robert_S
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Re: That's not a prostitute! It's a tomato!
What I've found with a few discussions I've had lately is this self-satisfaction that people express with their proffessed open mindedness. In realty it ammounts to wilful ignorance and intellectual cowardice as they are choosing to not form any sort of opinion on a particular topic. Basically "I don't know and I'm not going to look at any evidence because I'm quite happy on this fence."
-Mr P
The Net is best considered analogous to communication with disincarnate intelligences. As any neophyte would tell you. Do not invoke that which you have no facility to banish.
Audley Strange
-Mr P
The Net is best considered analogous to communication with disincarnate intelligences. As any neophyte would tell you. Do not invoke that which you have no facility to banish.
Audley Strange
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