How do you know when you love someone?

[Feck]

How do I know .......my friends start throwing things at me whenever I mention her name .

[The Curious Squid]

It depends what you mean by 'love'. I think it's a poorly definded term that covers a few different states altogether.

'Romantic love', that first rush at the beginning of a relationship or what one feels when love is unrequited is a brain chemistry thing. It's like a drug, causing anxiety, happiness, irrational thinking, despair, childlike delight, etc.

'Longterm love' is something else completely. I think it's a conglomeration of many other emotions and feelings bound together under a not-so-useful linguistic rubric. I think the term is badly defined and difficult to explain properly.

Agreed. The term love is too broad a brush to cover the variety of feelings it is expected to encompass. 'Romantic love' is the feeling I am interested in. It is so intense and throws logic and rational behaviour out of the window, brings tears of joy and sorrow to the eyes of men and women.

It's a feeling that I've never had returned (or should I say never been in a situation where it's mutual?)

What you and XC have said is pretty accurate which is why when I actually did fall in love it was fucking horrible, knowing that she didn't feel the same way had me in tears and the fact that I over analyse most things didn't help because I could understand that I was being completely irrational but there was nothing I could actually do to make myself snap out of it.

[Thinking Aloud]

It's a feeling that I've never had returned (or should I say never been in a situation where it's mutual?)

That can happen, even when there's long term love involved. I've been in love several times in my life, but only once had it reciprocated. That is the best feeling in the world, though it helps to be conscious of it's irrationality and relatively short-term, if keeping the relationship for the long-term is an ultimate goal.

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

It's a feeling that I've never had returned (or should I say never been in a situation where it's mutual?)

That can happen, even when there's long term love involved. I've been in love several times in my life, but only once had it reciprocated. That is the best feeling in the world, though it helps to be conscious of it's irrationality and relatively short-term, if keeping the relationship for the long-term is an ultimate goal.

I remember feeling as though nobody but the two of us existed for a while. There was something almost conspiratorial about the relationship in the beginning - I distinctly recall an "us against the rest of the world" feeling but it felt good, not scary or daunting.
At that time, I think she could have talked me into doing just about anything.