Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

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Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Bella Fortuna » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:06 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/1 ... weird-news
Looks like this guy wasn't using his noodle.

Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese.

A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy's missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking.

The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother's stomach.

When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando.

Randy allegedly admitted that "I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn't mean to."

He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.

He has been arrested on numerous occasions over the past 10 years, and Dreamin' Demon has compiled a helpful infographic of his mugshots over the span of his criminal career.
Trigger Warning!!!1! :
GIVE ME MY MACARONI CHEESE!!!!!

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Audley Strange » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:11 pm

What would we lose if we farmed his organs, exactly?
"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Bella Fortuna » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:18 pm

Audley Strange wrote:What would we lose if we farmed his organs, exactly?
He's already missing teeth and brains, so why not...
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Audley Strange » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:40 pm

My friend had an idea in his youth which he called "Fucked up by Fifty" by which he meant if you were an insistent and active detriment to society, you had until 50 to change your ways then it was off to the butchers to give some other people a chance at a better life than the one they themselves squandered.
"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Bella Fortuna » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:40 pm

More mac cheese for the rest of us! :food:
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by mistermack » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:56 pm

It might not be as bad as it looks.

I can personally vouch for the fact that there is nobody on the planet who can wind you up like your brother.
And he only gave him a little poke with the knife. It's not like he stabbed him or anything.

I can't see why he was arrested. The police could have made themselves useful finding the missing macaroni.
Or the missing teeth.
While there is a market for shit, there will be assholes to supply it.

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Tero » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:59 pm

Yeah, that's the Zipperers for you. And Florida. Stay away.

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Bella Fortuna » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:00 pm

Coincidentally the brother reported that the pasta was strangely crunchy...
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Bella Fortuna » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:00 pm

Tero wrote:Yeah, that's the Zipperers for you. And Florida. Stay away.
Poor Coito. :hehe:
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Rum » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:15 pm

Why wasn't the brother carrying his gun!? Its all his fault!

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Audley Strange » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:42 pm

"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by laklak » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:42 pm

You don't mess with a man's Velveeta. Just sayin.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Svartalf » Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:57 pm

Audley Strange wrote:My friend had an idea in his youth which he called "Fucked up by Fifty" by which he meant if you were an insistent and active detriment to society, you had until 50 to change your ways then it was off to the butchers to give some other people a chance at a better life than the one they themselves squandered.
Define : "insistent and active detriment" please?
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by Audley Strange » Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:04 pm

Well it came about due to a discussion about serial killers and violent predatory child fuckers, but I guess you could include career criminals and some CEO's.
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Re: Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Mac Cheese

Post by laklak » Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:06 pm

I'd add priests, anti-vaxers and telemarketers to the list.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

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