Black Smoke

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Black Smoke

Post by cronus » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:47 pm

A lot of it too? Must be a good joint in there? :smokin:

http://www.ktvu.com/news/news/black-smo ... -po/nWp5J/

Black smoke billows out of Vatican; No first ballot Pope

VATICAN CITY — Cardinals from around the globe locked themselves inside the Sistine Chapel on Tuesday, but a billowing cloud of black smoke indicated they were not able to select a pope on the first ballot.
The 115 scarlet-robed men entered their conclave early Tuesday with a final appeal for unity to heal the divisions that have been exposed by Pope Benedict XVI's shocking resignation and revelations of corruption in the Vatican bureaucracy.
Led by prelates holding a crucifix and candles, the cardinals chanted the Litany of Saints, the hypnotic Gregorian chant imploring the intercession of the saints, as they filed into the chapel and took their oath of secrecy.
With a dramatic closing of the thick double doors and the exhortation "Extra omnes" or "all out," the ritual-filled conclave began beneath Michelangelo's frescoed "Creation" and before his "Last Judgment" — potent images for the task at hand.

(continued)
What will the world be like after its ruler is removed?

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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Bella Fortuna » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:51 pm

Still getting rid of incriminating evidence...
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by cronus » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:54 pm

Bella Fortuna wrote:Still getting rid of incriminating evidence...
I don't recall it billowing out like that in previous times. :coffee:
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Bella Fortuna » Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:02 pm

Scrumple wrote:
Bella Fortuna wrote:Still getting rid of incriminating evidence...
I don't recall it billowing out like that in previous times. :coffee:
The pressure's on, these days.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Azathoth » Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:11 pm

revelations of corruption? Was it ever a secret?
Outside the ordered universe is that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes.

Code: Select all

// Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis 
   $str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);

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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Audley Strange » Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:18 pm

They've just exorcised the bad guy from Lost from the Vatican finally, on instructions from Christian Shepherd.

Yeah that's right, I mentioned Lost, wallow in the nostalgia of disappointment.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Bella Fortuna » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:46 am

One of my FB statuses today...
IN THE NEWS THAT OUGHTTA BE:

The Cardinals emerged from the Sistine Chapel unexpectedly early today. Having raided the Vatican of its sacramental wine, they bumbled out mirthfully drunk, admitting what many of us have known all along: the whole Catholic church is a put-on.

“We can't keep it up any more,” one chortled. “No one thought it would go on this long – I mean seriously, who can believe this stuff?”

Another choked on his wafer in laughter: “We kept thinking – 'they'll never swallow this one' – the doctrines, the councils, the outlandish outfits... the fucking magisterium fer crissakes! And every time they bought it and kept giving us money we'd look at each other and go 'Holy SHIT!!'”

“But we just can't keep a straight face anymore... and really, the challenge is all gone. I mean, you let us get away with Nazi collaboration and molesting kids and everything... there's really nowhere to go after that.”

So what were they really doing in the conclave?

“We watched The Walking Dead on Netflix and staged fights with those big Bo-Peep staffs.”

“Yeah, and we burned as much incriminating evidence as we could... but now – you know, just fuck it.”

“And I'm sick of Italian food and big hats.”

The 115 red-cloaked men then threw up their hands in mock disgust, bid adieu, and wove stumblingly down the road to the nearest bar.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Xamonas Chegwé » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:48 am

Bella Fortuna wrote:One of my FB statuses today...
IN THE NEWS THAT OUGHTTA BE:

The Cardinals emerged from the Sistine Chapel unexpectedly early today. Having raided the Vatican of its sacramental wine, they bumbled out mirthfully drunk, admitting what many of us have known all along: the whole Catholic church is a put-on.

“We can't keep it up any more,” one chortled. “No one thought it would go on this long – I mean seriously, who can believe this stuff?”

Another choked on his wafer in laughter: “We kept thinking – 'they'll never swallow this one' – the doctrines, the councils, the outlandish outfits... the fucking magisterium fer crissakes! And every time they bought it and kept giving us money we'd look at each other and go 'Holy SHIT!!'”

“But we just can't keep a straight face anymore... and really, the challenge is all gone. I mean, you let us get away with Nazi collaboration and molesting kids and everything... there's really nowhere to go after that.”

So what were they really doing in the conclave?

“We watched The Walking Dead on Netflix and staged fights with those big Bo-Peep staffs.”

“Yeah, and we burned as much incriminating evidence as we could... but now – you know, just fuck it.”

“And I'm sick of Italian food and big hats.”

The 115 red-cloaked men then threw up their hands in mock disgust, bid adieu, and wove stumblingly down the road to the nearest bar.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Bella Fortuna » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:54 am

I went a bit nuts with the pope statuses today. :hehe: :pardon:
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by pErvinalia » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:54 am

Audley Strange wrote:They've just exorcised the bad guy from Lost from the Vatican finally, on instructions from Christian Shepherd.

Yeah that's right, I mentioned Lost, wallow in the nostalgia of disappointment.
You too? I really enjoyed that show, I'm not ashamed to say (or maybe slightly). Up until the last season and the ridiculous ending.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by pErvinalia » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:55 am

Bella Fortuna wrote:I went a bit nuts with the pope statuses today. :hehe: :pardon:
Noooo.... :hehe:
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Bella Fortuna » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:56 am

rEvolutionist wrote:
Bella Fortuna wrote:I went a bit nuts with the pope statuses today. :hehe: :pardon:
Noooo.... :hehe:
:teef:

My other personal favourite...
I need a bunch of strippers dressed like altar boys. Charge it to my PaPal account.
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by klr » Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:59 am

Bella Fortuna wrote:One of my FB statuses today...
IN THE NEWS THAT OUGHTTA BE:

The Cardinals emerged from the Sistine Chapel unexpectedly early today. Having raided the Vatican of its sacramental wine, they bumbled out mirthfully drunk, admitting what many of us have known all along: the whole Catholic church is a put-on.

“We can't keep it up any more,” one chortled. “No one thought it would go on this long – I mean seriously, who can believe this stuff?”

Another choked on his wafer in laughter: “We kept thinking – 'they'll never swallow this one' – the doctrines, the councils, the outlandish outfits... the fucking magisterium fer crissakes! And every time they bought it and kept giving us money we'd look at each other and go 'Holy SHIT!!'”

“But we just can't keep a straight face anymore... and really, the challenge is all gone. I mean, you let us get away with Nazi collaboration and molesting kids and everything... there's really nowhere to go after that.”

So what were they really doing in the conclave?

“We watched The Walking Dead on Netflix and staged fights with those big Bo-Peep staffs.”

“Yeah, and we burned as much incriminating evidence as we could... but now – you know, just fuck it.”

“And I'm sick of Italian food and big hats.”

The 115 red-cloaked men then threw up their hands in mock disgust, bid adieu, and wove stumblingly down the road to the nearest bar.
You should be writing articles for The Daily Mash. :lol:
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:00 am

Hell, you should submit that one to the Onion. :tup:
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Re: Black Smoke

Post by Audley Strange » Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:37 am

rEvolutionist wrote:
Audley Strange wrote:They've just exorcised the bad guy from Lost from the Vatican finally, on instructions from Christian Shepherd.

Yeah that's right, I mentioned Lost, wallow in the nostalgia of disappointment.
You too? I really enjoyed that show, I'm not ashamed to say (or maybe slightly). Up until the last season and the ridiculous ending.
Worst. Ending. Ever.
"What started as a legitimate effort by the townspeople of Salem to identify, capture and kill those who did Satan's bidding quickly deteriorated into a witch hunt" Army Man

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