Gregory Matthew Bruni, Naked Intruder, Pooped And Masturbated In Tony Lands' Florida Home: Cops
In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and masturbators -- but rarely is one man the total package.
When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports.
The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder.
The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911.
"I don't know who the hell he is -- he's naked and he ran into my damn house," Tony can be heard saying on the recording.
The Lands told authorities that after shots were fired, Bruni began whacking the mole in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.
When deputies arrived, they attempted to control Bruni, who they say was wildly flailing around and speaking nonsensically. They also discovered that Bruni had defecated on the floor in two spots within the home.
At some point during the ruckus, investigators say, Bruni sucked up the contents of the vacuum, then spit it back out.
Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on."
Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence.
Let's Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:
Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.
Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.
Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.
Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Land.
Masturbated in the living room.
Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.
Defecated on the floor in two places.
Drank the contents of the vacuum.
Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
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Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Now that's just weird.Drank the contents of the vacuum.
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Running naked on roofs always gives me diarrhea too. Poor man.
Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
If only the Lands had of been armed with AR-15s, landmines, grenades, and trained in naked pooping wanking crazy guy response this never would have happened!
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Nobody said what he does at the carnival. Whatever he does, I bet it's quite a display of...something or other. 
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
it sounds like the comedic actions of a small monkey on a Laurel and Hardy set.
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
He's The Great Wanking Pooper!.JacksSmirkingRevenge wrote:Nobody said what he does at the carnival. Whatever he does, I bet it's quite a display of...something or other.
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
It's really a sad day when a nice fellow with such a lovely head of hair can't rub one one out and then poop in someone's house. What has this world come to when we can no longer extend hospitality to masturbating strangers and open our hearts and homes to them? Shameful 
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Have we signed him up here yet?
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
We tried to, but he shit in the Lounge, wanked in NSFW, and then knocked over all the dishes in the Restaurant.Gawdzilla Sama wrote:Have we signed him up here yet?
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Okay, so Tat wouldn't like the competition.Bella Fortuna wrote:We tried to, but he shit in the Lounge, wanked in NSFW, and then knocked over all the dishes in the Restaurant.Gawdzilla Sama wrote:Have we signed him up here yet?
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Been on the zombie flesh eater pills for far too long and was just building up to the grand finale? 
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
So, he was doping?Scrumple wrote:Been on the zombie flesh eater pills for far too long and was just building up to the grand finale?
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That's a theory....?Gawdzilla Sama wrote:So, he was doping?Scrumple wrote:Been on the zombie flesh eater pills for far too long and was just building up to the grand finale?
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Re: Tough Day for Violent Pooping Masturbator
Why?Scrumple wrote:That's a theory....?Gawdzilla Sama wrote:So, he was doping?Scrumple wrote:Been on the zombie flesh eater pills for far too long and was just building up to the grand finale?
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