5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women

[Robert_S]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5- ... women.html

The list:

#5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl
#4. We're Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration
#3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us
#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point
#1. We Feel Powerless

[Pappa]

Eh?

[Robert_S]

Read the article.

[Cormac]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5- ... women.html

The list:

#5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl
#4. We're Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration
#3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us
#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point
#1. We Feel Powerless

This reminds me of the asshole Christians who claim that they'd be serial killing rapists without the bible telling them not to* behave that way. David Wong is clearly a disgusting person, but he doesn't speak for me. When you read his article - every time you read "we", replace it in your mind with "I", because that asshole is speaking for himself only.

The funny thing about his Harry Potter reference is that he seems unaware that Harry Potter was written by a woman.

That man is a cunt.


*Which it doesn't do, incidentally.

[Robert_S]

I think he had good points and expressed them well with numbers Five and Four.

Number three gets a little weak.

Two and one seem more like a pity party.

[Coito ergo sum]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5- ... women.html

The list:

#5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl

LOL -- I can tell you, I was never told this. I was pretty much told by implication during puberty that there was no way in HELL I would ever have a hot girl... I was told that society would allow me to admire them from afar, and fantasize about them while wanking.

#4. We're Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration

Who are these freaks? Decoration? I was trained from birth to respect them and be cordial and polite to them.

#3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us

I saw no conspiracy, but I certainly remember pitching tent after tent over every side-boob I glanced at in middle school and high school.

#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point

Err.. uh....wut? I feel like my manhood developed over decades.

#1. We Feel Powerless

I'm both powerless and privileged? How quaint.

[Sean Hayden]

I think I'm miles above this.

[Rum]

I think the article is bollocks.

[Audley Strange]

Hate Women? The article is a display of self loathing.

[Cormac]

He claims that there are some moments in which women are not thinking about sex, implying that men are NEVER not thinking about sex. This is blatantly bullshit.

He makes a point about Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, and says:

But if the female wacky sidekick isn't attractive, like the overweight Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, then every scene needs to be about how ugly and fat and mannish she is. That has to be the core of her character.

But my memory of her character is that she is an in your face, blunt, fun, happy, sexually fulfilled, happy-go-lucky person who has love in her life.

How this was a negative view I am not sure. It certainly wasn't about how ugly, fat, and mannish she was. If David Wong drew that conclusion, it can only be because HE was thinking that. Again, the man is a cunt.

I have never experienced a thought or emotion that even vaguely resembles this:

When that happens, when we get that boner at the funeral, we get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because we, ourselves, our own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with our penis to screw us over.

So again, what David Wong really means is:

When that happens, when I, David Wong, get that boner at the funeral, I, David Wong, get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because I, David Wong, myself, my own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with my, David Wong's, penis to screw me, David Wong, over.

And this is the most ridiculous thing that he says:

Every male reading this is going to think I'm belaboring the obvious (after all, the world is full of comedy bits like this one about how hot girls are almost demonic in their ability to control males against their will). But I have never explained this to a woman who didn't look at me like I was insisting that all men are secretly werewolves.

But even this isn't the thing that makes us angriest ...

This is not comedic. It isn't even vaguely funny. This man is confessing to being a psychotic cunt in public, and he thinks he is funny, rather than a scary self-hating asshole.

[Coito ergo sum]

I have never experienced a thought or emotion that even vaguely resembles this:

When that happens, when we get that boner at the funeral, we get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because we, ourselves, our own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with our penis to screw us over.

What? I've gotten boners in "inappropriate" places, like in class at school, at work in a meeting, that kind of thing. It happens. I never "got mad" at a girl for showing cleavage. I lusted after her. That is why I got the boner. And, I never thought "this is a bad place to get a boner." I thought "this is an embarrassing place to get a boner," because the male sexual functioning is often made fun of in that way. And, sometimes it's natural and uncontrollable to get a boner. Although it doesn't happen as much now as it did in my teens -- boners can happen without us trying. But, I can say, with complete assurance, that I never thought my penis was conspiring with anyone. This guy is tool.

So again, what David Wong really means is:

When that happens, when I, David Wong, get that boner at the funeral, I, David Wong, get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because I, David Wong, myself, my own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with my, David Wong's, penis to screw me, David Wong, over.

And this is the most ridiculous thing that he says:

Every male reading this is going to think I'm belaboring the obvious (after all, the world is full of comedy bits like this one about how hot girls are almost demonic in their ability to control males against their will). But I have never explained this to a woman who didn't look at me like I was insisting that all men are secretly werewolves.

But even this isn't the thing that makes us angriest ...

This is not comedic. It isn't even vaguely funny. This man is confessing to being a psychotic cunt in public, and he thinks he is funny, rather than a scary self-hating asshole.

LOL -- I never heard a comic do a routine about how women are demonic and control males against their will. I've been watching comedy for 30 years.

I imagine that Wong has women looking at him weird for explaining this, because they find it as bizarre as I do.

Angry? I have never become angry -- not once in my life -- at becoming sexual aroused by a woman. I have become agitated and anxious -- felt that sense of urgency -- and felt a drive to physically interact with her (lovingly/affectionately/passionately), but I have never become "angry" with her. What the fuck is with this guy? Or, if this is, in fact, generally applicable to men and I am an exception, I can only be grateful that I don't have those feelings to contend with.

[Cormac]

I have never experienced a thought or emotion that even vaguely resembles this:

When that happens, when we get that boner at the funeral, we get mad at the girl showing the cleavage. Because we, ourselves, our own rational personality that knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, knows this is a bad place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with our penis to screw us over.

What? I've gotten boners in "inappropriate" places, like in class at school, at work in a meeting, that kind of thing. It happens. I never "got mad" at a girl for showing cleavage. I lusted after her. That is why I got the boner. And, I never thought "this is a bad place to get a boner." I thought "this is an embarrassing place to get a boner," because the male sexual functioning is often made fun of in that way. And, sometimes it's natural and uncontrollable to get a boner. Although it doesn't happen as much now as it did in my teens -- boners can happen without us trying. But, I can say, with complete assurance, that I never thought my penis was conspiring with anyone. This guy is tool.

For clarity - I've never got angry at a woman for evoking such a response in me. Neither have I been so insane as to imagine that the girl is conspiring to make me have an erection in an inappropriate place. What a fucking delusion.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

The only sane adult in my home was a woman. I respect them.

[PsychoSerenity]

Is this meant to be for real? Or is it like, a poe? I've only read the first page but some of it is so stupid it's almost funny - "Frodo gets Sam" - eh?

[Audley Strange]

If it's not a poe, it should be called "5 ways Modern Men are Trained to Hate Themselves." And it is tragic. The poor boy needs a better faith, has drenched himself in original sin of being born male. Sad Sad Sad.