White House shoots down petition to build Death Star

[cronus]

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/respon ... re-looking

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

(continued)

[Cormac]

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/respon ... re-looking

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

(continued)

A pretty good response.

A better response would have included:


... We've heard your ambitions of expansion of human space exploration, and so we will:

1. Establish a permanently manned moonbase by 2020, and
2. A manned Mars mission by 2030.

[Pappa]

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-575 ... eath-star/

Obama Administration says construction of the universe's ultimate weapon would be cost prohibitive and not in keeping with its policy of galactic peace.

The White House has rejected a proposal to build a Death Star, saying that in addition to its prohibitive construction costs, the current administration does not advocate destroying other planets.

Today's official statement came in response to a petition posted in November to the White House's We The People platform that called for the administration to begin construction of a moon-size military battlestation armed with a planet-destroying superlaser by 2016. The petition, which attracted well more than the minimum 25,000 signatures necessary for a response from the White House, suggested such a project could give the nation's economy a much-needed boost:

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

However, in a playful, "Star Wars"-inspired response titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For," Paul Shawcross, the chief of the science and space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, explains that construction of the universe's ultimate weapon would cost $850 quadrillion ($850,000,000,000,000,000). The administration also said it was reluctant to spend such an uncountable amount on "a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship."

Shawcross also points out that the U.S. is a participant in the International Space Station ("that's no moon, it's a Space Station!" he writes):

Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.
Shawcross also points out that exploration of space is no longer a government-exclusive industry and that private companies are already ferrying cargo into space under NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (aka C3PO). He also offered a reminder of some of the space-exploration projects currently under way or on the drawing board.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got wo spacecraft leaving the solar system and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

Shawcross closes the administration's response with a serious note encouraging students to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, or math-related fields and highlighting the science fairs and White House astronomy sessions initiated by the Obama Administration.

"If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us!" Shwacross writes. "Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

[Svartalf]

If they just relaunched a shuttle style of vehicle, and projected a manned moon base by 2030 ajnd a manned travel to Mars by 2040, I'd be happier than if they made me a moff.

[Cormac]

If they just relaunched a shuttle style of vehicle, and projected a manned moon base by 2030 ajnd a manned travel to Mars by 2040, I'd be happier than if they made me a moff.

Ha! I said nearly the same thing on Facebook in response to this same rejection - but I said 2020 for the Moon and 2030 for a manned Mars Mission.

2020 could be done if they went all Cold War and Apollo about it...

[Audley Strange]

I'm all for it, just, if we find a planet of teddy bears, Do not land.

[Svartalf]

Nobody will go cold war apollo in the middle of an economic crisis... but seriously going at it would be enough.

[Jason]

Why do we want to go to the moon again? Been there. Done that. Not interesting. Skip it and put all the funding straight into going to Mars.

[Cormac]

Nobody will go cold war apollo in the middle of an economic crisis... but seriously going at it would be enough.

It is dangerous to go full "Cold War Apollo" anyway!

[Azathoth]

Awesome nasa guy responds to a petition for a deathstar.

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/respon ... re-looking

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Merge?

[Cormac]

Yep, I think a merge is in order...

[Cormac]

Just a reminder:


http://rationalia.com/forum/viewtopic.p ... 0#p1027091

Re: Ctrl V

Postby leo-rcc » Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:01 pm
Dear The Pentagon,

In the September-October issue of your in-house acquisition magazine, Defense AT&L, in an article entitled "Don't Come to the Dark Side: Acquisition Lessons From A Galaxy Far, Far Away", Air Force Lt. Col. Dan Ward took the time to explain why building Death Stars is a "bad idea".

You know what else is a bad idea, Lt. Dan? Having the same name as that guy with no legs from Forrest Gump. And getting the people who own the largest laser in the universe angry at you. Prepare to witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL letter of rebuttal.

In your introductory paragraph you said that, "any enormous project that is brain-meltingly complex, ravenously consumes resources, and aims to deliver an Undefeatable Ultimate Weapon is [...] not a good thing." Isn't it, The Pentathlon? Isn't it? What's so complex about a 160km-across superlaser powered by a gigantic hypermatter reactor and equipped with 123 hyperdrive field generators tied into a navigational field matrix? Maybe we should have just built a giant outerspace slingshot instead. Would that have been simple enough for you, the Pentathlon? Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a forked stick and rubber band that big? No, of course you don't. What a ridiculous suggestion.

And yes, you're right, the Death Star does ravenously consume resources. But only the resources of incredibly evil planets where they weren't really doing anything good with them anyway. It's an absolute TRAVESTY how many planets are out there just floating in space, totally utopian and idyllic and untouched by the hand of progress/strip mining and deforestation. You know what? Not on our watch. We say progress for EVERYBODY! Because we care. Not like you. How many countries have YOU "helped"/ruthlessly invaded in order to steal their natural resources for yourselves. Hardly ANY. Amateur.

Next you brought up the Death Star's "operational shortcomings" and, surprise, surprise, the whole "critical vulnerability" in our unprotected exhaust port. Well excuuuuse us, Mr. Perfectagon. Does it offend your precious sensibilities that we have one teensy little flaw? Maybe if you bothered to look a little closer, you'd see that we've got a lot of great things going on too, like our cantina's famous Penne Arrabiata. Didn't Mrs. Perfectagon ever teach you not to judge a monolithic death laser by its ominous gunmetal grey cover? It sure sounds to us like SOMEBODY had a pretty tough time as a baby Pentagon. You probably didn't even get to do fun stuff like play video games or eat chocolate because you're a building and don't have hands, or taste buds.

Anyway, like YOU'RE so amazing. We took a look at some of YOUR operational shortcomings, Mr. Perfectagon. We even made it into a LIST to make it really simple for you. You:
Are made of bricks. Nice impenetrable defensive system!
Don't have any shield generators on nearby forest moons.
Can't reach lightspeed.
Can't even FLY AT ALL. LAME.
House no planet destroying superlasers, or even a single turbolaser battery.
Can't disguise yourself as a small moon.
Checkmate, the Pentagram. Death Star 1 Pentameter 0. Except you didn't even know you were playing the game, which makes it DOUBLE SPACE CHECKMATE. Death Star 4 Pentacle -7.

You go on to mention that the Death Star only fired its main weapon once as if that's some kind of a bad thing. Do you know what that means, The Octagon? It means the Death Star has hit absolutely everything it's fired at. That's a 100% accuracy rate, my feckless five-sided friend. That's better than any weapon YOU'VE ever invented, planet destroying or otherwise. In fact, that probably makes it the greatest weapon ever created in the history of everything. Ever. Not to mention the fact that a VAST majority of other evil supergenius' doomsday weapons never even get to fire at all, which makes us WAY ahead of the curve.

Then there's the whole suggesting that Darth Vader is a "bad" project manager because he's "evil" and a "murderous tyrant who demanded obedience". Wow, The Pentathlete. Really? Darth Vader isn't "evil", he's a Sith Lord. It's part of his RELIGIOUS BELIEFS to Force choke the occasional a-hole. Haven't you ever heard of freedom of religion? Probably not because you're a BUILDING. Also, you can't be a "murderer" if the murderees really deserved it. It's called Self-Defence From Extreme Stupidity and Incompetence. It's a complex legal thing that you probably wouldn't understand.

Finally, the Pentagon, we take issue with your suggestion that Astromech droids like R2-D2 are a "better" investment than the Death Star because building a moon-sized death laser is "unaffordable" and "impractical". Really? If Death Stars are SO unaffordable, then how come we built TWO? And the second one was EVEN BIGGER AND COOLER AND TOTALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE BECAUSE IT HAS A SHIELD NOW. BOOM! We just Alderaaned your mind, didn't we, the Pentahlon?

Did you even see R2-D2 in that swamp on Dagobah? He was as useless as pants on a Wookiee. And Artoo might have somehow lucked his way through many Star Wars, but did you ever stop to notice how many other Astromech droids get totally blown to pieces in every second scene? BANTHALOADS.

Are you trying to tell us that, given the choice, you'd REALLY rather have a few R2-D2's than your very own Death Star hovering up in the night sky, ready to shine the Green Light of Justice and Freedom/Planetary Destruction down on your enemies?

We didn't think so, the Pentagon, we didn't think so.

Yours Sithcerely,

The Galactic Empire.

[hadespussercats]

Merge completed. I hope.

[Ian]

Merge completed. I hope.

The Force is strong with you.