How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

[amused]

My next Toastmaster speech is supposed to present a subject for which I've had to do some research. The speech is to present that research in 5-7 minutes. Just as a lark I entered the three words - survive zombie apocalypse - into Google. 4.5 million hits.

There are 6.7 million subscribers to: http://www.reddit.com/r/zombies/ with endless discussions about how best to deal with zombies.

This is going to be fun...


My last speech went well. It was the first fully realized speech where I told the speech as a story, or series of stories, rather than trying to remember it as a speech. Telling a story is SO much easier to remember. It ran 7 minutes 20 seconds, 10 seconds under the limit, and was delivered without notes. Didn't miss a single line! Woot!

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Just go to Wal-mart. NOBODY goes there looking for brains.

[Jason]

If you like, I'll forward you my materials on how to make several dozen kinds of IEDs, including anti-personnel mines (work well against zombies), high explosives, and weapons of various sorts.

[Pappa]

1. Always know where your axe is.

[amused]

The more I read about the fantasies of the zombie apocalypse the more they sound like the fantasies of the gun nuts. Gleeful longing for societal breakdown, fetishizing of weaponry, obsession with self defense bunkers, self-justified murderous attitudes towards 'them' - check, check, check, and check.

[Tero]

It's coming. Eventually. Our current plan...spend more to create "jobs"... Will lead to Collapse.

Hide the guns and ammo, well greased, in back yard.

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

First thing that would happen here in the UK is that the "z word" would be banned in case it offends anyone.
Second thing that would happen is that the police would be out in force urging people not to ty to defend themselves and shooting anyone who tried.
Third thing that would happen is everyone would get their brains eaten.

The end.

[Jason]

Are the bobbies really... zombies?

[JacksSmirkingRevenge]

Are the bobbies really... zombies?

Of course. Where do you think the inspiration for Z Cars came from?

[Jason]

Kill them! Kill them with fire!

..or is that vampires?

Kill them anyway!

[amused]

As part of my research I'm reading World War Z after seeing the outrage at reddit.com/r/zombies because Hollywood turned it into a PG-13 Brad Pitt action movie with fast moving zombies. It's written as a series of rememberances from people looking back at the Great Panic. Not too bad, but the movie trailer is definitely not this book.

[Jason]

Fast zombies are the worst.

I like slow, stumbling, hordes of zombies thank you.

[Sean Hayden]

Move to the mountains -movie over

[Jason]

Go to Africa, collect all the lions, bring them back and release them on the Zombies.

[Pappa]

If you're ready for the zombie apocalypse, you're ready for pretty much anything. :teach: