Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

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Animavore
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by Animavore » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:19 am

Gallstones wrote:
Animavore wrote:
Clinton Huxley wrote:I do a lot of the cooking and being awesome. Also heavy lifting, gardening, admin, Christmasiness, fending off miscreants and setting things on fire. I'm doing my bit.
Oh yes. I love cooking. That's one thing I will do no bother. In fact, I'd say I'm better than most women.

But cooking falls into the category of doing enjoyable things which leave a mess I hate to have to clean up.
Better than most what?
Women. Y'know, those soft, leaky things with all the hair.
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by JimC » Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:48 am

hadespussercats wrote:I don't see how any of our individual experiences are going to answer a societal question that can really only be addressed by scientifically administered statistical studies.
True, but it's fun seeing what forum people do... :biggrin:

Me: Weekly vacuuming and washing floors, sweeping the kitchen floor as needed. Cleaning the cat's shed, outdoor sweeping, lawn mowing, some digging, weeding and watering, plus looking after the compost. Putting the bins out. About 75% of the dishwashing, and about 10% of the cooking. Occasional help with shopping and hanging out clothes. Household maintenance.

Bron: Most of the cooking and washing, all of the ironing, bringing the bins in, making my school lunch (very spoiled, I am...), dusting, household financial organisation, planting and harvesting the veggies, and all the other things I would forget about if left to my own devices...

Nick: Not much last year, will be expected to lift his game in future. However, vital for sorting problems with electronic devices...
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by hadespussercats » Sun Dec 09, 2012 2:28 pm

My husband and I both work really hard. At the moment, we're occupying very conventional gender roles in terms of the breakdown.

Before we had kids, and before I got sick, I was generally working more hours than he, outside the home (though we both put in frequent 80+ hour weeks back then)--
and I definitely was doing more housework on top of it. Very frequent bone of contention. Many fights.

It's interesting-- he said it wasn't like he didn't do chores growing up-- but his mother split up the chores in a very gendered way, where his sister did the ones inside the house, while he did yardwork and such. Of course, we don't live a yardwork-requiring lifestyle, in an apartment in the city. It took a lot for him to even notice the "indoor" work that needed to get done.

But we've moved past that, I think. He works really hard, all around.

Who knows if I'll need to revisit this once I'm back working outside the home. But I'm hopeful. :D
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by laklak » Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:25 pm

I do all the cooking and shopping and most of the kitchen chores. Mrs. Lak does the laundry. We split the house cleaning and yard work. I make the drinks, she drinks them. Works out well.
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by Audley Strange » Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:36 pm

Why should we pull our weight? What is that weight? Is it an objective measurement or just the basis for another whine?
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by hadespussercats » Sun Dec 09, 2012 4:04 pm

Audley Strange wrote:Why should we pull our weight? What is that weight? Is it an objective measurement or just the basis for another whine?
Seems to be a basis for you to whine. :mrgreen:
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by laklak » Sun Dec 09, 2012 4:37 pm

Wimmins can evidently see dirt men are not able to see. Has something to do with hunters vs gatherers, I think.
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by Audley Strange » Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:15 pm

hadespussercats wrote:
Audley Strange wrote:Why should we pull our weight? What is that weight? Is it an objective measurement or just the basis for another whine?
Seems to be a basis for you to whine. :mrgreen:
Damn straight, I took the bins out last time.

:{D
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by hadespussercats » Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:56 pm

Audley Strange wrote:
hadespussercats wrote:
Audley Strange wrote:Why should we pull our weight? What is that weight? Is it an objective measurement or just the basis for another whine?
Seems to be a basis for you to whine. :mrgreen:
Damn straight, I took the bins out last time.

:{D
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by Kristie » Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:15 am

I'm a stay at home mom, so I do 95% of the housework and errand running. Hubby helps a lot with the kids while I cook dinner and stuff though. He also takes care of all our finanical stuff and does most of the yardwork. I'd say we definitely fall into traditional gender roles. But, it was by choice that I quit my job and I'm sure he'd pitch in quite a bit more if I were to go back to work.
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by Cormac » Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:43 am

I have noticed that my wife likes to potter about, even when there is nothing to actually do in terms of cooking, cleaning, minding children etc.

So, is there an assumption in the statistics that all the work that is claimed to have been done is actual work, and actually necessary?

I think to have reliable statistics, you'd have to actually video people - and even then, their behaviour would be modified.

I am heavily involved in minding our children, I love cooking, but will generally need to be pointed at something that I might not notice, but that to her is like an arc light with a klaxon. That said, there are some things I would see that she doesn't that wind me up just as much.

Chainsawing, chopping wood, fixing stuff is down to me, generally. (Although my wife is very practical).
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by amused » Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:52 am



:hehe:

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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by hadespussercats » Mon Dec 10, 2012 3:58 am

Hmmm. Just came across this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashi ... ted=1&_r=0

I suppose if your man's not pulling his weight, you could just train him like an orca.
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by charlou » Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:52 am

Animavore wrote:Men make the kids laugh and have fun and go on adventures. We get in trouble by mean ol' mum then turn to each other and smile, then continue as soon as her back's turned.

We are tired after having all that fun. Leave us be. Not having fun, being concerned about minor crap like dirt and appearance, that's a woman's thing. You don't see us trying to force youse into climbing cliffs and running along the sand dunes. You stay on that side of the line and we'll stay on ours. Agreed?
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Re: Men -- Are We Not Pulling Our Weight?

Post by charlou » Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:02 am

Coito ergo sum wrote:I intend to contribute as much to caring for Little She, but I'm not getting paternity leave, but she'll be off an extended period of time for maternity leave. So, when she's home, I'm figuring she'll take care of the house as well as Little She. I'm thinking we wouldn't need the cleaning lady, but I don't know -- the cost may be worth not having the discussion. :-)
If you can still afford the service of your cleaning lady, what a lovely gift to Little She and her mother .. and yourself too ... to have more relaxed time for each other.
Coito ergo sum wrote:I think most of these things even out, roughly.
I think when this is the case, people can lose sight of it. Lack of appreciation, communication and support on either or both sides, leading to building resentments that magnify over time.
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