How to be happy?

[Coito ergo sum]

For the record, I never told you how to be happy. I just pointed out that happiness doesn't come from outside yourself. If you look for it there, you won't find it. That's why there are many people who seemingly have it all who are still very unhappy, and yet there are people living in what appears to have difficult lives and smile happily every day. I can't tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you where to look.

Oh, and "damn you Huxley!!!!"

[Clinton Huxley]

I'm so happy

[hadespussercats]

For the record, I never told you how to be happy. I just pointed out that happiness doesn't come from outside yourself. If you look for it there, you won't find it. That's why there are many people who seemingly have it all who are still very unhappy, and yet there are people living in what appears to have difficult lives and smile happily every day. I can't tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you where to look.

Oh, and "damn you Huxley!!!!"

You said I was in charge of my happiness. That's a very different thing from what you've written here. And it is also bullshit.

[Coito ergo sum]

For the record, I never told you how to be happy. I just pointed out that happiness doesn't come from outside yourself. If you look for it there, you won't find it. That's why there are many people who seemingly have it all who are still very unhappy, and yet there are people living in what appears to have difficult lives and smile happily every day. I can't tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you where to look.

Oh, and "damn you Huxley!!!!"

You said I was in charge of my happiness. That's a very different thing from what you've written here. And it is also bullshit.

Not intended to be different. My original comment was "You're always in charge of your own happiness. Nobody else. Happiness is in your mind." And, it isn't bullshit.

You are in charge of your happiness because happiness only comes from within you, not from an external source.

Nobody else is in charge of your happiness. Happiness is a function of your own mind. To a large extent, it is a choice.

[hiyymer]

For the record, I never told you how to be happy. I just pointed out that happiness doesn't come from outside yourself. If you look for it there, you won't find it. That's why there are many people who seemingly have it all who are still very unhappy, and yet there are people living in what appears to have difficult lives and smile happily every day. I can't tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you where to look.

Oh, and "damn you Huxley!!!!"

You said I was in charge of my happiness. That's a very different thing from what you've written here. And it is also bullshit.

Not intended to be different. My original comment was "You're always in charge of your own happiness. Nobody else. Happiness is in your mind." And, it isn't bullshit.

You are in charge of your happiness because happiness only comes from within you, not from an external source.

Nobody else is in charge of your happiness. Happiness is a function of your own mind. To a large extent, it is a choice.

Forgetting about the "in charge of" problem, consider that if you want to "feel" happy you can. There is a little ice cream place downtown that has the best ice cream and the best hot fudge imaginable. I can maybe find the time and inclination to get there every other month or so (need an excuse to make the 40 minute trek). But I can sit at home and imagine that I am sitting there with my honey savoring my hot fudge sundae, letting each bite slowly melt down my throat setting off paroxysms of chocolate delight, while my honey sits across from me looking beautiful and smiling at my obvious enjoyment. Somehow that act of imagining sets off a feeling of "happy".

Maybe being happy is knowing what you want because you want it. Thinking of it works. Thinking about it, is not being happy in the moment. Enjoy the ride.

[Coito ergo sum]

Yes -- "To live happily is an inward power of the soul." Aristotle -- (take the soul reference metaphorically -- replace it with mind).

Of course, Oscar Wilde said it best, "some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go..." LOL

[hadespussercats]

For the record, I never told you how to be happy. I just pointed out that happiness doesn't come from outside yourself. If you look for it there, you won't find it. That's why there are many people who seemingly have it all who are still very unhappy, and yet there are people living in what appears to have difficult lives and smile happily every day. I can't tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you where to look.

Oh, and "damn you Huxley!!!!"

You said I was in charge of my happiness. That's a very different thing from what you've written here. And it is also bullshit.

Not intended to be different. My original comment was "You're always in charge of your own happiness. Nobody else. Happiness is in your mind." And, it isn't bullshit.

You are in charge of your happiness because happiness only comes from within you, not from an external source.

Nobody else is in charge of your happiness. Happiness is a function of your own mind. To a large extent, it is a choice.

Well, sure, there's something to be said for choosing to embrace the positive, seeking out truth and beauty or whatever you like, making time for friends and fulfilling pursuits, etc., etc.

But to blithely state that people can choose to be happy only shows that you're completely inexperienced with the wide world of mood disorders, and makes you sound pretty arrogant to those of us who have that experience.

[Animavore]

Sartre argued you can choose to be happy.

I don't like Sartre.

[Pensioner]

Gin...

OK, so I'm fucking typecast...

That's true.

[hiyymer]

But to blithely state that people can choose to be happy only shows that you're completely inexperienced with the wide world of mood disorders, and makes you sound pretty arrogant to those of us who have that experience.

I guess only some people. Or maybe nobody. Maybe we just have the experience of choosing to be happy, but the experience wasn't really "my" choice.

[hadespussercats]

But to blithely state that people can choose to be happy only shows that you're completely inexperienced with the wide world of mood disorders, and makes you sound pretty arrogant to those of us who have that experience.

I guess only some people. Or maybe nobody. Maybe we just have the experience of choosing to be happy, but the experience wasn't really "my" choice.

I was aiming that comment at Coito, hiyymer. Or maybe I'm missing what you're saying?

I'm a little confused.

[hiyymer]

But to blithely state that people can choose to be happy only shows that you're completely inexperienced with the wide world of mood disorders, and makes you sound pretty arrogant to those of us who have that experience.

I guess only some people. Or maybe nobody. Maybe we just have the experience of choosing to be happy, but the experience wasn't really "my" choice.

I was aiming that comment at Coito, hiyymer. Or maybe I'm missing what you're saying?

I'm a little confused.

Yes. But what is a "mood disorder"? We either presume that we have a choice for our mood or not. Is a mood disorder a temporary one-off problem with the choice, or an idea that presumes that we have no choice; a disorder of the brain? "We" are so expert at holding both ideas as real at the same time that we never see how illogical we are being. From inside the mechanism we are responsible for our mood unless we aren't.

[Coito ergo sum]

Well, sure, there's something to be said for choosing to embrace the positive, seeking out truth and beauty or whatever you like, making time for friends and fulfilling pursuits, etc., etc.

But to blithely state that people can choose to be happy only shows that you're completely inexperienced with the wide world of mood disorders, and makes you sound pretty arrogant to those of us who have that experience.

It's not arrogance. It's experience.

And, it's not as if I'm just making this up or coming up with it in the fly.

As for the mood disorder, it depends which one. 80% of everybody, probably more, suffers a mood disorder at some point in their life, usually many times. Mood disorders come in a host of ranges, and plainly if someone is suffering from a serious mental ailment, as opposed to an adjustment disorder, adjustment disorder with depressed or anxious moods, and the like, that's different than clinical depression, etc. I'll stipulate to except those that have illnesses.

[hadespussercats]

It's arrogance when you presume that your experience should be the rule for everyone.

hiyymer-- I'm thinking we aren't in control of our moods (and I recognize that to plunge further into this subject I should be posting in FBM's Illusion of Self thread.)

I'm bothered by our current sense (or lack thereof) as to what makes something a mood disorder-- and even why there's a difference between neurology and psychiatry (either the problems in the brain, or not, right? What is this, some soul-sickness I've got? I don't think so. And some try to analogize between computer hardware and computer software, because it sounds so 1 to 1 and sensible. But I smell bullshit.)

[tattuchu]

There may be something wrong with my brain, but I don't believe I'm capable of being truly happy, not really. For short bursts, sure. But long term? I don't think I know how, or am able to know how. The best I can manage is...temporarily distracted.