We should start a new religion. Seriously.

Post by **mistermack** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:29 pm

I just heard Richard Dawkins say that several states, including Texas, in the US have laws that disqualify anybody who doesn't believe in a God from public jobs, or political office.

So we should start a new religion, with a god that atheists can publicly state that that they believe in.
My own idea is for a god that takes the form of a giant mass of spaghetti, invisible and undetectable to unbelievers, which orbits the sun between Mars and Jupiter.
He has a band of angels which take the form of pink unicorns, again invisible to the unbelieving dogs, who do his bidding and carry messages.

I would be more than happy to swear to that, as my religion.

But there must be better gods out there. Anybody?

Post by **Ian** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:42 pm

I hear a lot of Brits have officially registered themselves as Jedi. I could say that I worship Yoda. He has been one with the force since a long time ago...

Post by **Gawdzilla Sama** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:26 pm

mistermack wrote:I just heard Richard Dawkins say that several states, including Texas, in the US have laws that disqualify anybody who doesn't believe in a God from public jobs, or political office.

So we should start a new religion, with a god that atheists can publicly state that that they believe in.
My own idea is for a god that takes the form of a giant mass of spaghetti, invisible and undetectable to unbelievers, which orbits the sun between Mars and Jupiter.
He has a band of angels which take the form of pink unicorns, again invisible to the unbelieving dogs, who do his bidding and carry messages.

I would be more than happy to swear to that, as my religion.

But there must be better gods out there. Anybody?

Bacon.

Post by **Don't Panic** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:49 pm

mistermack wrote:I just heard Richard Dawkins say that several states, including Texas, in the US have laws that disqualify anybody who doesn't believe in a God from public jobs, or political office.

So we should start a new religion, with a god that atheists can publicly state that that they believe in.
My own idea is for a god that takes the form of a giant mass of spaghetti, invisible and undetectable to unbelievers, which orbits the sun between Mars and Jupiter.
He has a band of angels which take the form of pink unicorns, again invisible to the unbelieving dogs, who do his bidding and carry messages.

I would be more than happy to swear to that, as my religion.

But there must be better gods out there. Anybody?

Me.

Post by **laklak** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:16 pm

Whatever it is, I want to be at least a Cardinal. I think selling indulgences at ATM machines would be nice - put in your card, choose your sin, pay and please sin again!

Today's Special: 2 Adulteries for the price of 1! Buy one Simony, get one Usury FREE!

Post by **amused** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:27 pm

laklak wrote:... Buy one Simony, get one Usury FREE!

Heh, this is particularly rich. Well done!

Post by **Audley Strange** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:55 pm

Thou shalt not worship false Auds.

What more do you need that an eight year old demonic scamp with phenomenal cosmic powers of selfishness and ability to kill for the price of a cake?

Post by **Seth** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:58 pm

mistermack wrote:I just heard Richard Dawkins say that several states, including Texas, in the US have laws that disqualify anybody who doesn't believe in a God from public jobs, or political office.

He's being mendacious and dishonest. Yes, such laws still exist on the books of several states, but they are "dead letter" law and cannot (and have not) been enforced ever since the Supreme Court said in Torasco v. Watkins (1961), "We repeat and again reaffirm that neither a State nor the Federal Government can constitutionally force a person "to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion." Neither can constitutionally pass laws or impose requirements which aid all religions as against non-believers, and neither can aid those religions based on a belief in the existence of God as against those religions founded on different beliefs."

Those laws are invalid and unenforceable, and Dawkins knows it. Which means he's lying and spreading Atheist propaganda and half-truths... as usual.

So we should start a new religion, with a god that atheists can publicly state that that they believe in.
My own idea is for a god that takes the form of a giant mass of spaghetti, invisible and undetectable to unbelievers, which orbits the sun between Mars and Jupiter.
He has a band of angels which take the form of pink unicorns, again invisible to the unbelieving dogs, who do his bidding and carry messages.

I would be more than happy to swear to that, as my religion.

But there must be better gods out there. Anybody?

Better you should learn not to take anything Dawkins says at face value, because he's a liar.

Post by **Seth** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:59 pm

laklak wrote:Whatever it is, I want to be at least a Cardinal. I think selling indulgences at ATM machines would be nice - put in your card, choose your sin, pay and please sin again!

Today's Special: 2 Adulteries for the price of 1! Buy one Simony, get one Usury FREE!

You can be a Minister of Tolerism™ if you like. Just PM me and I'll draw up the oath and some ordination papers for you...

Post by **Bella Fortuna** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:05 pm

Audley Strange wrote:Thou shalt not worship false Auds.

Is cleanliness next to Audleyness?

Post by **mistermack** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:18 pm

As well as allowing you to stand for office, or get a state job, a new religion would be a great tax-dodge.
Atheists could donate and get the same tax-breaks as the loonies.
And I think that someone like me should be treasurer, because I can be relied on not to waste the donated funds.
No sir. Not one cent will go to waste.

Post by **Seth** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:23 pm

mistermack wrote:As well as allowing you to stand for office, or get a state job, a new religion would be a great tax-dodge.
Atheists could donate and get the same tax-breaks as the loonies.
And I think that someone like me should be treasurer, because I can be relied on not to waste the donated funds.
No sir. Not one cent will go to waste.

Why else do you think Tolerism™ is formulated as a religion?

Why else do you think I use the broadest definition of "religion": "something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience." Source

Post by **Warren Dew** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:37 am

Seth wrote:
laklak wrote:Whatever it is, I want to be at least a Cardinal. I think selling indulgences at ATM machines would be nice - put in your card, choose your sin, pay and please sin again!

Today's Special: 2 Adulteries for the price of 1! Buy one Simony, get one Usury FREE!
You can be a Minister of Tolerism™ if you like. Just PM me and I'll draw up the oath and some ordination papers for you...

I think we need dietary rules. Do you require the eating of bacon on weekends?

Post by **Seth** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:34 pm

Warren Dew wrote:
Seth wrote:
laklak wrote:Whatever it is, I want to be at least a Cardinal. I think selling indulgences at ATM machines would be nice - put in your card, choose your sin, pay and please sin again!

Today's Special: 2 Adulteries for the price of 1! Buy one Simony, get one Usury FREE!
You can be a Minister of Tolerism™ if you like. Just PM me and I'll draw up the oath and some ordination papers for you...
I think we need dietary rules. Do you require the eating of bacon on weekends?

If you like. We tolerate diverse dietary requirements.

Post by **Audley Strange** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:46 pm

Bella Fortuna wrote:
Audley Strange wrote:Thou shalt not worship false Auds.
Is cleanliness next to Audleyness?

Only in so far as soap has a vague acquaintance to the central tenets of Heterodox Audleyism. It's quite a simple religion avoid or kill that which you cannot be arsed with and eat cake.

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