Conversing with Marginalized People™

[Robert_S]

http://www.derailingfordummies.com/menu.html

You know how it is. You’re enjoying yourself, kicking back and relaxing at the pub or maybe at the library; or maybe you’re in class or just casually surfing the internet, indulging in a little conversation. The topic of the conversation is about a pertinent contemporary issue, probably something to do with a group of people who fall outside your realm of experience and identity. They’re also probably fairly heavily discriminated against - or so they claim.
The thing is, you’re having a good time, sharing your knowledge about these people and their issues. This knowledge is incontrovertible - it’s been backed up in media representation, books, research and lots and lots of historical events, also your own unassailable sense of being right.

Yet all of a sudden something happens to put a dampener on your sharing of your enviable intellect and incomparable capacity to fully perceive and understand All Things. It’s someone who belongs to the group of people you’re discussing and they’re Not Very Happy with you. Apparently, they claim, you’ve got it all wrong and they’re offended about that. They might be a person of colour, or a queer person. Maybe they’re a woman, or a person with disability. They could even be a trans person or a sex worker. The point is they’re trying to tell you they know better than you about their issues and you know that’s just plain wrong. How could you be wrong?

Don’t worry though! There IS something you can do to nip this potentially awkward and embarrassing situation in the bud. By simply derailing the conversation, dismissing their opinion as false and ridiculing their experience you can be sure that they continue to be marginalised and unheard and you can continue to look like the expert you know you really are, deep down inside!

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE PRIVILEGE!

Just follow this step-by-step guide to Conversing with Marginalised People™ and in no time at all you will have a fool-proof method of derailing every challenging conversation you may get into, thus reaping the full benefits of every privilege that you have.

The best part is, you don't even have to be a white, heterosexual, cisgendered, cissexual, upper-class male to enjoy the full benefits of derailing conversation! Nope, you can utilise the lesser-recognised tactic of Horizontal Hostility to make sure that, despite being a member of a Marginalised Group™ yourself, you can exercise a privilege another Marginalised Group™ doesn't have in order not to heed their experience!

Read on, and learn, and remember… you don’t have to use these in any particular order! In fact, mixing them up can really keep those Marginalised People™ on their toes! After all, they are pretty much used to hearing this stuff, so you don’t want to get too predictable or they’ll get lazy!

[FBM]

Did you mean this for GSD&P, Rob? Looks more like humor...

[Atheist-Lite]

Yes, but you are ALL going extinct. Crumple pointed out the dead mans curve for you. Remember?

[Robert_S]

Did you mean this for GSD&P, Rob? Looks more like humor...

It has a humorous tone, but it deals with a serious subject and perhaps a serious discussion can ensue.

[Tyrannical]

You can always just say, "But I'm sure your not that way"

[Robert_S]

You can always just say, "But I'm sure your not that way"

http://www.derailingfordummies.com/pers ... #different

Backhanded insults are a fantastic way to trip up and flummox a Marginalised Person™. This step is often used when you've said something discriminatory either forgetting or being oblivious to the fact a person from the Marginalised Group™ you're targeting is right there and has seen/heard it.
They will be offended of course, and that's when you try to mollify them by reassuring them that they're “different” to the others.
“Oh, you're not like all those other bitchy women” perhaps, or maybe: “Yes, but you're an attractive fat man!”

Other suggestions include: “I wasn't talking about you when I was saying most trans women are ugly. You pass pretty well!”; “Yes, but you're not like those other black people who won't better themselves, you're very educated!”. Maybe even: “It's so good that you stay away from drugs, unlike those other sex workers”.

Perhaps even: “Sure, but mostmentally ill people are very selfish and self-obsessed. You're a really nice person!”

Not only do you get to reinforce commonly held stereotypes about various Marginalised Groups™ revealing that you truly believe them, you get to deliver a double-edged compliment to the Marginalised Person™ involved. By using this tactic you're hoping to play on their emotions, connect with their usual experience of being Marginalised™ for being “other” and turn it around by now “flattering” them for it and how they are differentiated from the “others” because they're “special” and (almost) worthy of a place in the ranks of the Privileged® (almost) because they are better at conforming to standards set by the Privileged®.

So deeply ingrained can many insulting preconceptions of their Marginalised Group™ be that they may be torturously flattered – we all like to feel the sun on our faces after all! And so, in this way, you also get to reinforce the internalised stigma they may carry.
Finally, you will invoke rage on behalf of their fellows whom you have sweepingly and summarily dismissed and degraded. A conflicting swirl of emotions is very useful to work with!

And finally, of course, you once again imply it is your right as a Privileged Person® to pass judgement or cast approval of them.

However be warned if you're using this tactic to try and halt the conversation before it goes any further: the Marginalised Person™ may very well be further provoked into confronting you with your ignorance. Use it with caution.

[colubridae]

Thank christ! At las! I've been struggling all my life to marginalise as many people as possible.

This is just what I needed. No longer will I live my life worrying that I'm Only Living™ and not Marginalising™.

Now I can be sure that everything I do, every action I take,as a Privileged Person™ will marginalise™ someone somewhere.

I can even™ stick the TM™ mark at suitable intervals to enhance my smug self-righteousness™.

[Warren Dew]

Did you mean this for GSD&P, Rob? Looks more like humor...

It has a humorous tone, but it deals with a serious subject and perhaps a serious discussion can ensue.

I see you've already learned the "derail using humor" approach.

[Robert_S]

Did you mean this for GSD&P, Rob? Looks more like humor...

It has a humorous tone, but it deals with a serious subject and perhaps a serious discussion can ensue.

I see you've already learned the "derail using humor" approach.

The humor in that site is not the derailing kind, if that's what you're getting at.

I don't think most of the derails in Ratz threads are the kind that reinforce power and privilege, but I'll try to keep an open mind.

[SteveB]

How marginalized are we talking here? Verne Troyer levels?

[charlou]

Thank christ! At las! I've been struggling all my life to marginalise as many people as possible.

This is just what I needed. No longer will I live my life worrying that I'm Only Living™ and not Marginalising™.

Now I can be sure that everything I do, every action I take,as a Privileged Person™ will marginalise™ someone somewhere.

I can even™ stick the TM™ mark at suitable intervals to enhance my smug self-righteousness™.

Zing.

[Bella Fortuna]

What's listed on that link could also be seen as a litany of "why I should discount your responses because they do not reflect exactly what I want." Much has to do with context. That list has pretty much marginalised every response other than wholehearted support.

There are two sides to every coin (excuse the simplified polarist™ language) and while a person looking to ascribe motive could interpret any of the listed approaches in such a way, there may be perfectly legitimate reasons for many of those responses in the context of discussion. There are a lot of self-marginalising people out there looking to see Being Kept Down in anyone who does not agree with them.

[charlou]

Aye.

[Sean Hayden]

Aye

[Audley Strange]

Should we talk about the privilege that comes with being a self righteous arse that thinks their personalised life experience allows them to use the concept of bigotry and marginalisation to stifle discussion on behalf of everyone.

Everyone who defines themselves as part "of" something marginalises themselves.


And what the fuck is a cissexual? It's like fucking scientology or something.