50 Shades of Grey.

[SteveB]

Lots of telling not showing in that first little bit I read of the first chapter. /literary critic engaged

I tried reading Twilight and I couldn't get through it. Maybe got half way through before I started cutting myself.

I also couldn't get through Robinson Crusoe: the extra long edition, which is basically him meandering on an island, building fences and growing crops for infinity long chapters. And Moll Flanders, the same shitty shit keeps happening to her, a good book for sadists.

All the good stuff happens after about a quarter of the way through.

What's her face...author lady..based Christian off of me. True fact.

[Svartalf]

I just realized that Robinson Crusoe and Moll Flanders were written by the same person...go figure..

My brain is blown. I read them years apart and didn't know. At least things are making more sense.

Daniel Defoe is a boring ass writer.

If you want 18th c fiction, try good old Jon Swift's Gulliver (well, you have to like a good satiric novel, because if you try keeping it first degree, it can get boring), or Lawrence Sterne's Tristram Shandy.

[Svartalf]

I don't recall Friday boring into Crusoe's ass. Perhaps I read the junior version?

Man friday and Crusoe being gay? Definitely only in parodies... Defoe was trying to write a 'respectable ' work.

[Mallardz]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

[Rum]

I was in Asda today and the slob woman in front of me (sorry but she was: way over weight, leggings that showed rings of fat, bad tattoos, smelling faintly of fried food and talking loudly. She had this 'book' in her trolley.

I had a nightmare image that haunted me for a couple of hours, of her, naked, wanking on a bed whose bed clothes had not be changed in six months, with a brat crying in the living room as the dog gnawed on something unspeakable and she indulged her new reading habit..

That's what I think of that book.

[Coito ergo sum]

[Audley Strange]

I was in Asda today and the slob woman in front of me (sorry but she was: way over weight, leggings that showed rings of fat, bad tattoos, smelling faintly of fried food and talking loudly. She had this 'book' in her trolley.

I had a nightmare image that haunted me for a couple of hours, of her, naked, wanking on a bed whose bed clothes had not be changed in six months, with a brat crying in the living room as the dog gnawed on something unspeakable and she indulged her new reading habit..

That's what I think of that book.

I think your erotica is slightly better written.

[Kristie]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

All the fucking, and there is plenty, starts about a quarter of the way through the book!

[Bella Fortuna]

I was in Asda today and the slob woman in front of me (sorry but she was: way over weight, leggings that showed rings of fat, bad tattoos, smelling faintly of fried food and talking loudly. She had this 'book' in her trolley.

I had a nightmare image that haunted me for a couple of hours, of her, naked, wanking on a bed whose bed clothes had not be changed in six months, with a brat crying in the living room as the dog gnawed on something unspeakable and she indulged her new reading habit..

That's what I think of that book.

I think your erotica is slightly better written.

[Coito ergo sum]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

All the fucking, and there is plenty, starts about a quarter of the way through the book!

Typical women... the fucking starts 25% of the way through the whole thing? Criminy.... get the pants off and down to business! Page 1! Line 1!

[Kristie]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

All the fucking, and there is plenty, starts about a quarter of the way through the book!

Typical women... the fucking starts 25% of the way through the whole thing? Criminy.... get the pants off and down to business! Page 1! Line 1!

Most women like foreplay!

[Coito ergo sum]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

All the fucking, and there is plenty, starts about a quarter of the way through the book!

Typical women... the fucking starts 25% of the way through the whole thing? Criminy.... get the pants off and down to business! Page 1! Line 1!

Most women like foreplay!

"Foreplay, Cuddling. A Jedi craves not these things" - Yoda.

[Kristie]

Well I read the first chapter on the link posted. I thought if I ever want to criticise it I should read it. The whole time I was thinking "Where is all the fucking?"
I thought that's what it was about...
The description of the guy in the authors ideal of perfect is very vague and odd.
No intention to pursue it I have sufficient criticisable content.

All the fucking, and there is plenty, starts about a quarter of the way through the book!

Typical women... the fucking starts 25% of the way through the whole thing? Criminy.... get the pants off and down to business! Page 1! Line 1!

Most women like foreplay!

"Foreplay, Cuddling. A Jedi craves not these things" - Yoda.

A man that skips foreplay doesn't know what he's missing. I recently had an evening of mainly foreplay and it was amazing, for both of us.

[Coito ergo sum]

Science proves it's overrated: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... claim.html

[hadespussercats]

Science proves it's overrated: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... claim.html

Like scientists get laid.