Is What's Wrong with Kids today, their Parents?

[kiki5711]

Hmmmm....I don't want the fruit of my frankly rather attractive and overactive loins to be pushovers but I don't really want them to ever kick anyone in the face, either.

If your daughter was being constantly taunted by some bully at school and told you about it and you went to the school to complain, a little punishment was done, but then it continued, and even worse than before. What would you do as a father?

I would continue to complain to the school and encourage the mini Huxleys to comport themselves in a civilised fashion. I was bullied plenty at school. I never attacked anybody, physically. I don't think that avenue is a good thing to encourage.

I would do the same. I would also provide enough emotional support at home that my children's sense of self worth would not be so dependent on the opinions of their peers at school as to be tempted to violence.

And you live in some white picked fenced gated community neighborhood where all the kiddies listen to their parents and never pick on anyone? You can teach your kids to be civilized but they also need to know self defense at appropriate time.

[MiM]

Kids are cruel, my mother used to say that all the time, but I know she said that only as a comment about how children are to their peers. Their generation wouldn't have even considered that kids might bully an elder. I believe there is a big difference (certainly not better or worse, just different) between bullying a peer, versus bullying an elder.

It's different, but it is also much the same. When people here say that "kids should show respect to their elders", I can but feel that they are playing the wrong note. Kids should show more respect. Period. As should grown ups.

[Warren Dew]

I would continue to complain to the school and encourage the mini Huxleys to comport themselves in a civilised fashion. I was bullied plenty at school. I never attacked anybody, physically. I don't think that avenue is a good thing to encourage.

I would do the same. I would also provide enough emotional support at home that my children's sense of self worth would not be so dependent on the opinions of their peers at school as to be tempted to violence.

And you live in some white picked fenced gated community neighborhood where all the kiddies listen to their parents and never pick on anyone? You can teach your kids to be civilized but they also need to know self defense at appropriate time.

No, I don't live in a neighborhood like that, actually. In fact, there's a housing project just down the street. Nor is it true that white kids are less likely to pick on people than any other kids, anyway.

I'd like my kids to know self defense to defend themselves against physical attacks, but only if they are civilized enough also to know that violence is not an appropriate reaction to verbal taunts.

[PsychoSerenity]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/2 ... d%3D172569

"When the second teenager called her a derogatory term, Dang says she snapped, hitting him in the face several times while simultaneously dodging his punches."

That is most definitely not an appropriate use of self defense.

[kiki5711]

I would continue to complain to the school and encourage the mini Huxleys to comport themselves in a civilised fashion. I was bullied plenty at school. I never attacked anybody, physically. I don't think that avenue is a good thing to encourage.

I would do the same. I would also provide enough emotional support at home that my children's sense of self worth would not be so dependent on the opinions of their peers at school as to be tempted to violence.

And you live in some white picked fenced gated community neighborhood where all the kiddies listen to their parents and never pick on anyone? You can teach your kids to be civilized but they also need to know self defense at appropriate time.

No, I don't live in a neighborhood like that, actually. In fact, there's a housing project just down the street. Nor is it true that white kids are less likely to pick on people than any other kids, anyway.

I'd like my kids to know self defense to defend themselves against physical attacks, but only if they are civilized enough also to know that violence is not an appropriate reaction to verbal taunts.

Well, it's a fact that "verbal taunts" has caused more death than if the person picked on did something about it before it got out of hand. Young people being picked on verbally had comitted suicide, become very depressed, lose self esteem, like to isolate themselves because of fear, quit school altogether.
Yelling back "sticks and stones" is NOT going to work. It will make things worse. Verbal taunting also has caused multiple shootings in schools, even though they have been reported of being bullied to their parents or teachers. A day late, and a dollar short.

[Brian Peacock]

.

"Kids; never tell you anything-except their opinions!"

• -- Gallstones

[Warren Dew]

I would continue to complain to the school and encourage the mini Huxleys to comport themselves in a civilised fashion. I was bullied plenty at school. I never attacked anybody, physically. I don't think that avenue is a good thing to encourage.

I would do the same. I would also provide enough emotional support at home that my children's sense of self worth would not be so dependent on the opinions of their peers at school as to be tempted to violence.

And you live in some white picked fenced gated community neighborhood where all the kiddies listen to their parents and never pick on anyone? You can teach your kids to be civilized but they also need to know self defense at appropriate time.

No, I don't live in a neighborhood like that, actually. In fact, there's a housing project just down the street. Nor is it true that white kids are less likely to pick on people than any other kids, anyway.

I'd like my kids to know self defense to defend themselves against physical attacks, but only if they are civilized enough also to know that violence is not an appropriate reaction to verbal taunts.

Well, it's a fact that "verbal taunts" has caused more death than if the person picked on did something about it before it got out of hand. Young people being picked on verbally had comitted suicide, become very depressed, lose self esteem, like to isolate themselves because of fear, quit school altogether.

Young people with an insufficient sense of self worth, who didn't get enough love and support at home to allow them to ignore verbal taunts at school, sure.

Yelling back "sticks and stones" is NOT going to work. It will make things worse. Verbal taunting also has caused multiple shootings in schools, even though they have been reported of being bullied to their parents or teachers. A day late, and a dollar short.

To the contrary, it works great. I was taught the old "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", and that almost completely solved the verbal taunting problem. I ignored the taunts, and since I didn't let them get to me, people didn't bother to do it much.

If the suicides and the shooters had been properly taught that adage, those kids wouldn't have died, either.

[kiki5711]

I doubt that.

Young people with an insufficient sense of self worth, who didn't get enough love and support at home to allow them to ignore verbal taunts at school, sure.

And this is totally incorrect. I was raised with good parents, good self worth and confidence, had plenty of love, yet when I started school and speaking with broken English accent, I became a target.

It wasn't until I confronted that one girl from the group, physically, that it finally stopped and in fact they looked at me with a sort of mysterious respect. In order words they didn't know what I would do next. I had no plans to do anything next, but they didn't know that.

[laklak]

It's pretty obvious that the real problem is a lack of guns.

The grannies should be supplied with automatic pistols, and at least three rounds for every kid that they have to monitor.

When will this politically correct madness ever end?

Don't be silly, some of the parents are probably Democrats.

Tasers and cattle prods, that's the ticket.

[FBM]

Bullying will continue until we require every teacher and child to carry a handgun to school every day. And none of this "the dog ate it" business, either.

[laklak]

Just hang a couple of bullies in gibbets and let ravens eat their eyes. Should clear up the problem rather quickly.

[Warren Dew]

Young people with an insufficient sense of self worth, who didn't get enough love and support at home to allow them to ignore verbal taunts at school, sure.

And this is totally incorrect. I was raised with good parents, good self worth and confidence, had plenty of love, yet when I started school and speaking with broken English accent, I became a target.

And you committed suicide, despite the love and support at home?

If you give me a link to your obituary, I may have to admit I was wrong.

[kiki5711]

Young people with an insufficient sense of self worth, who didn't get enough love and support at home to allow them to ignore verbal taunts at school, sure.

And this is totally incorrect. I was raised with good parents, good self worth and confidence, had plenty of love, yet when I started school and speaking with broken English accent, I became a target.

And you committed suicide, despite the love and support at home?

If you give me a link to your obituary, I may have to admit I was wrong.

why are you saying this? you don't make sense. you said young people with an insufficient sense of self worth, who didn't get enough love etc.....

What I learned was how to take care of myself without running behind my daddys big body or whining how bad it is.

Kids here are getting worse because the parents are afraid to confront the teachers, hell, and it all gets shuffled under the rug until someone explodes because they were not taught how to deal with bullying at school. That does not mean they didn't have loving and nurturing environment at home. And probably, the parents tried to get involved with the school, but the school didn't take the warning as serious.

I bet the bully kind learned it from their home, so there was not going to be any learning to behave there, with the school or without.

[hadespussercats]

I think she was too old and out of her element to be a bus driver supporter for that age of kids. Kids are mean bastards when they're not at home.

My oldest daughter was made fun on on her bus by some girl, until one day she snapped, got off the bus where she got off, and swept the cemented sidewalk with her face. The girls mother came to my house with her daughter complaining about what my daughter did. Instead of jumping on my daughter about what she had done, I wanted to hear her side of the story. Once I realized what was happening, I gave her a high five. She was never bothered by that girl again.

Another story from the same daughter, but it was at school. Some boy kept making fun of her and her hair, saying it looks like pussy hair and one day she just snapped and gave him a kung fu kick in the face. I was called to the principles office and I wanted the whole explanation because I knew my daughter was not an instigator, but she wasn't going to take shit from nobody. She was suspended, but the boy who bullied her was not. I complained that he should be suspended as well.
I came home and I gave my daughter another high five.

Kids are cruel, and if you don't defend yourself in some way, they'll keep on picking on you and make you feel like shit.
When I was in HS, there was a group of "pretty high class bullies". They kept making fun of me because of my broken English.
One day, one of the girls from the group was walking around my neighborhood, my turf. I jumped her and beat her head against the ground until she pleaded to stop.
I was never touched again by them, or looked at. They probably thought I was some kind of foreigner psychopath. But that's ok. I put a stop to them.

Kids are cruel, my mother used to say that all the time, but I know she said that only as a comment about how children are to their peers. Their generation wouldn't have even considered that kids might bully an elder. I believe there is a big difference (certainly not better or worse, just different) between bullying a peer, versus bullying an elder.

Then of course there such great examples as parents these days. Consider some of our members - and how they are to each other. We also survive the jungle by dehumanizing others, it's no mystery that bullying is next. And, in US culture youth is prized and aging is not, so it's also not a mystery that kids think they are better than elders.

I still ask someone older than me if they prefer being addressed more formally - that's how I was raised. More often than not I find myself being addressed by my first name by kids, without even asking.

In Vietnamese culture, (apparently not so much with today's generation of American born Vietnamese) elders are treated with the utmost respect and dignity. I have been both impressed and touched by the tenderness and loving care with which I see my Vietnamese aunts and uncles being cared for in their senior years. It would have to be a very serious illness requiring constant care before they would ever consider packing them off to nursing care. Just go to a assisted living or elder care facility...you rarely see Asians there.

Well, I can't speak about Vietnamese culture, but English-speaking peoples have had intergenerational bullying for a long time.

Have you ever seen Romeo and Juliet? There's a seen where the Montague boys follow the nurse around and tease her. "A sail! A sail!" Poking fun at how she's so broad of beam that her veil makes her look like a ship...