More People in Love Than Previously Thought

[Existentialist1844]

Though it is widely held that romance and sex must ultimately yield to friendly companionship over time, new research found that's not the case. Instead about 13 percent of people reported high levels of romance in their long-term relationships, in a new study published in the March issue of the journal Review of General Psychology.

Researchers analyzed data from surveys of more than 6,000 people, including some in newly-formed pairs and many in marriages of more than 20 years. The scientists found that a surprisingly high number of people were still very much in love with their long-term partners, though the researchers drew a distinction between romantic love, which can endure, and passionate or obsessive love, which often fades after the beginning of a relationship.

"I think generally, in the literature, love has been measured as passionate love, so I think that's one reason for this widely-held assumption that love had to fade in relationships," said Bianca Acevedo, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who authored the study while she was a graduate student at Stony Brook University. "The obsessive component is generally combined with the romantic component. Thought of that way, it looks like it's diminishing, but if you assess the romantic love differently than the obsessive component, it happens for a greater proportion than what was generally thought."

Romantic love has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession, Acevedo said. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.

The new findings could help inspire couples to strive for better relationships, rather than resigning themselves to the inevitability of falling out of love, Acevedo said.

"Being in the mindset that [long-term romance] is probably not something to shoot for might be discouraging to some people," she told LiveScience. "They might think, 'This is probably as good as it gets.' I think it's important for people to at least know that it could be attainable."

What's the trick?

Acevedo and her advisor Arthur Aron are interested in finding out how some couples manage to keep the romance alive. So far, research indicates that it often has to do with pure hard work.

"These people are often very relationship focused," Acevedo said. "Their relationship is something that is very central to their lives, something they spend time on, work on, really care about. They seem to resolve conflicts relatively efficiently and smoothly."

Aron's previous studies suggest that couples who want to give romance a boost can benefit from doing new and challenging activities together. These novel experiences stimulate brains to create the neurochemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, which are also created during the early, exhilarating stages of romantic love.

Evolutionary benefits of love

Researchers debate whether people are really meant to stay in love throughout their lives. Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey, has suggested that passionate love is maladaptive if it lasts too long.

"When people are in the early stages of romantic love, it's very hard for them to focus on other things," Acevedo explained. "They are constantly thinking about the other person. They have a lot of energy; they can stay up all night talking to each other. This can be very metabolically costly, and it's not efficient when it comes to work and relationships. I think this fits in well with the idea that the obsession component has to fade. It's unsustainable to be like that over the years while raising children and having jobs."

However, a certain level of love is beneficial, she said. Having a partner who increases your happiness and comfort is certainly a healthy thing, and being able to trust and rely on someone in difficult situations can improve a person's success in life.

Medical research has demonstrated the physical benefits of loving relationships. People who report being in positive relationships have been shown to be healthier, less stressed, and to have stronger immune systems. And some studies even suggest happily married people live longer than their single counterparts.

[Fanny]

This study doesn't mean shit.

Bottom line: men want new sex. Women want slaves.

[Existentialist1844]

This study doesn't mean shit.

Bottom line: men want new sex. Women want slaves.

Hey, I just post the articles. Make what you want of it.

[Fanny]

This study doesn't mean shit.

Bottom line: men want new sex. Women want slaves.

Hey, I just post the articles. Make what you want of it.

In all seriousness, this study was conducted by a grad student and is one study. If they had multiple studies all saying the same stuff, I might go with it.

[Existentialist1844]

This study doesn't mean shit.

Bottom line: men want new sex. Women want slaves.

Hey, I just post the articles. Make what you want of it.

In all seriousness, this study was conducted by a grad student and is one study. If they had multiple studies all saying the same stuff, I might go with it.

I didnt even read it yet.

[Animavore]

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

Funniest sentence ever

[Existentialist1844]

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

Funniest sentence ever

Jaded, huh?

[Animavore]

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

Funniest sentence ever

Jaded, huh?

No. Just sounds silly when taken out of context. Like a headline on The Onion.

[Trolldor]

It's a silly article.

[Millie]

Interesting. I wonder if they’ll bother to delve deeper into the evolutionary aspect of the benefits of staying “in love” as opposed to our having evolved to procreate with as many partners as possible through our lives?

Exi – Where did you find this article (just curious to see what else they have written / posted)?

[Horwood Beer-Master]

[Coito ergo sum]

Interesting. I wonder if they’ll bother to delve deeper into the evolutionary aspect of the benefits of staying “in love” as opposed to our having evolved to procreate with as many partners as possible through our lives?

Exi – Where did you find this article (just curious to see what else they have written / posted)?

For most of human history, humans lived in small hunter-gatherer clans, wherein, I suspect, that a chieftan was entitled to multiple women, and lesser men were entitled to what they could hold onto. The women as property concept, it seems to me, probably evolved as a means to keep men from fighting too much over women.

Being "in love" is probable just an outgrowth of the teenage impulse to be drawn to procreate. Lust incentivizes humans to fuck. Love engenders protective impulses. Both necessary for procreation. Given that for most of human history, humans typically died within 10-15 years after first being able to impregnate each other, the idea of "long lasting love" was probably not as applicable. You fuck and get pregnant at 14, have the baby, and die of rotten teeth at 27, just in time for the child to about reach maturity. They fuck, procreate, and die 13 or 14 years later of an infected wound from the bite of some random animal.

[Coito ergo sum]

Interesting. I wonder if they’ll bother to delve deeper into the evolutionary aspect of the benefits of staying “in love” as opposed to our having evolved to procreate with as many partners as possible through our lives?

Exi – Where did you find this article (just curious to see what else they have written / posted)?

For most of human history, humans lived in small hunter-gatherer clans, wherein, I suspect, that a chieftan was entitled to multiple women, and lesser men were entitled to what they could hold onto. The women as property concept, it seems to me, probably evolved as a means to keep men from fighting too much over women.

Being "in love" is probable just an outgrowth of the teenage impulse to be drawn to procreate. Lust incentivizes humans to fuck. Love engenders protective impulses. Both necessary for procreation. Given that for most of human history, humans typically died within 10-15 years after first being able to impregnate each other, the idea of "long lasting love" was probably not as applicable. You fuck and get pregnant at 14, have the baby, and die of rotten teeth at 27, just in time for the child to about reach maturity. They fuck, procreate, and die 13 or 14 years later of an infected wound from the bite of some random animal.

[Bella Fortuna]

Thanks for responding to something from three years ago, Coito. Twice. We can always count on you.

[Coito ergo sum]

Thanks for responding to something from three years ago, Coito. Twice. We can always count on you.

Horwood bumped the thread for some reason, so it showed up on the active thread lists. I thought it was interesting, so I commented. Sorry....