Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft HomeOs.

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft HomeOs.

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:01 am

Microsoft are working on a new way to annoy you. HomeOs allows you to network your entire home. Fridges and toasters are treated like networked peripherals.

Nothing can go wrong.
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74175
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by JimC » Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:10 am

As long as the appliances call me master in a snivelling tone, I'll be happy....
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:17 am

Missing codec for George Forman Grill.
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
FBM
Ratz' first Gritizen.
Posts: 45327
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:43 pm
About me: Skeptic. "Because it does not contend
It is therefore beyond reproach"
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by FBM » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:43 am

An update is available for your toilet roll dispenser. Would you like to download it now?
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken

"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."

"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:45 am

Admin rights required to access toilet. Access denied.
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
FBM
Ratz' first Gritizen.
Posts: 45327
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:43 pm
About me: Skeptic. "Because it does not contend
It is therefore beyond reproach"
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by FBM » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:48 am

And this is why we have so many illegal downloading sites...
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken

"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."

"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:50 am

You could get home and find your HOUSE had contracted a virus and it was sitting on your sofa eating your cheese/bacon.

Microslop must be stopped.
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 74175
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by JimC » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:51 am

I want to download a scullery maid...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Azathoth
blind idiot god
blind idiot god
Posts: 9418
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:31 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Azathoth » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:51 am

Outside the ordered universe is that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes.

Code: Select all

// Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis 
   $str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:54 am

JimC wrote:I want to download a scullery maid...
Never heard it called that before.
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
Bella Fortuna
Sister Golden Hair
Posts: 79685
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:45 am
About me: Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Location: Scotlifornia
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Bella Fortuna » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:01 pm

Clinton Huxley wrote:
JimC wrote:I want to download a scullery maid...
Never heard it called that before.
I would have thought he wants to upload her...
Sent from my Bollocksberry using Crapatalk.
Image
Food, cooking, and disreputable nonsense: http://miscreantsdiner.blogspot.com/

User avatar
Gawdzilla Sama
Stabsobermaschinist
Posts: 151265
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:24 am
About me: My posts are related to the thread in the same way Gliese 651b is related to your mother's underwear drawer.
Location: Sitting next to Ayaan in Domus Draconis, and communicating via PMs.
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Gawdzilla Sama » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:05 pm

I've been hearing about this since at least the early '90s. It's the "flying car" of the computing world.
Image
Ein Ubootsoldat wrote:“Ich melde mich ab. Grüssen Sie bitte meine Kameraden.”

User avatar
klr
(%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
Posts: 32964
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:25 pm
About me: The money was just resting in my account.
Location: Airstrip Two
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by klr » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:10 pm

JimC wrote:I want to download a scullery maid...
I'd wait until at least v.3.11 if I were you. Microsoft takes ages to get it right. Who knows what bugs there are in MS Scullery MaidTM 1.0? :nervous:
God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers

It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

:mob: :comp: :mob:

User avatar
Clinton Huxley
19th century monkeybitch.
Posts: 23739
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Clinton Huxley » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:17 pm

klr wrote:
JimC wrote:I want to download a scullery maid...
I'd wait until at least v.3.11 if I were you. Microsoft takes ages to get it right. Who knows what bugs there are in MS Scullery MaidTM 1.0? :nervous:
that ruddy paperclip was annoying enough
"I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"

AND MERRY XMAS TO ONE AND All!

Imagehttp://25kv.co.uk/date_counter.php?date ... 20counting!!![/img-sig]

User avatar
Bella Fortuna
Sister Golden Hair
Posts: 79685
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:45 am
About me: Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Location: Scotlifornia
Contact:

Re: Fridge require defragging. Reboot toaster. Microsoft Hom

Post by Bella Fortuna » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:18 pm

Clinton Huxley wrote:
klr wrote:
JimC wrote:I want to download a scullery maid...
I'd wait until at least v.3.11 if I were you. Microsoft takes ages to get it right. Who knows what bugs there are in MS Scullery MaidTM 1.0? :nervous:
that ruddy paperclip was annoying enough
"It looks like you're thrashing a servant. Would you like help?"
Sent from my Bollocksberry using Crapatalk.
Image
Food, cooking, and disreputable nonsense: http://miscreantsdiner.blogspot.com/

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests