Lousy Booky Bits

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Bella Fortuna
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Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Bella Fortuna » Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:49 pm

"The boater hangs on her dress as if her vagina came with a hat rack."

The Man From Beyond, Gabriel Brownstein

:hilarious:
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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by klr » Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:09 pm

:funny: :funny:

Is there a "Basic writing style 101" course we can enrol these people in? :what:
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:mob: :comp: :mob:

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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by FBM » Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:18 pm

Boater? :think:

Edit: Nvm. Googled it. :lol:
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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Rum » Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:37 pm

"Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories". - Sue Fondrie

"As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand – who would take her away from all this – and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had". - Ali Kawashima

Winners last year of the Bulwer-Lytton prize for bad writing and mangled metaphors!!

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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Bella Fortuna » Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:39 pm

There's already a Bulwer-Lytton thread. :mod: This is for REAL books! :lol:
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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Rum » Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:41 pm

Bella Fortuna wrote:There's already a Bulwer-Lytton thread. :mod: This is for REAL books! :lol:
Isn't without linky! :Erasb:

Edit: OK - found it. I wasn't very active on the forum at the time...

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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Coito ergo sum » Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:48 pm

"The Knights Templar were warriors," Teabing reminded, the sound of his aluminum crutches echoing in this reverberant space."

"A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils."

- Dan Brown, The DaVinci Code. Worst popular novel ever written, perhaps...

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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Mysturji » Mon Feb 13, 2012 3:04 pm

Once, in high school, I sneaked a peek at the book a teacher was reading, which she had left on her desk. I forget the name of the book, and the author, but I read the first sentence and ROFL'd:

"Lately I have felt that the pigeons have been watching me."
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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Bella Fortuna » Mon Feb 13, 2012 3:06 pm

Mysturji wrote:Once, in high school, I sneaked a peek at the book a teacher was reading, which she had left on her desk. I forget the name of the book, and the author, but I read the first sentence and ROFL'd:

"Lately I have felt that the pigeons have been watching me."
:lol:
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Re: Lousy Booky Bits

Post by Tero » Mon Feb 13, 2012 3:29 pm

If I ever publish a work of fiction, it will be in Vonnegut style. None of his characters ever "cast a shadow". The words gloomy or dreary was never used. Fuck adjectives, unless it is a color or describes food.

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