Mid-life crises

[Audley Strange]

Mid-life crises? The terror that your youth is behind you mostly squandered and now all you have to look forward to is to being replaced, slow atrophy and the grave and so you naively attempt to recapture your "glory days", to mean something?

Meh, the past was shit, the future is where its at and in the end I'm really looking forward to an infinite snooze.

[Ian]

Jeez, it doesn't have to be that profound. I'm just talking about a vague sense of monotony, and looking for ways to spice up the next few decades. My younger years were good but I don't look back on them much - I'm just interested in hearing how people handle the "cruise control" stage of the life (if they've found themselves in one) without getting too bored. In my case, life's not bad but it's all the same for the forseeable future; establishing a career, getting married, having kids, etc... all that's done, and now life all seems to be about maintaining that stuff until it's time to retire. It doesn't provoke terror or despair, just some dullness. When food becomes dull, it needs some spice.

[hadespussercats]

My friends just stopped by-- they're expecting their first baby in June. They're about the same age, in similar fields of work to J and me, live in Brooklyn.

It was lovely to see them, and fun to share new parent stories with people who are genuinely interested. But I caught a glance or two that were clearly sussing out how pregnancy/new motherhood have changed me, a sense of "Is that what I'm in for?" I've started taking steps to feel better about my body-- running, not eating like a freak.

But while diet and exercise might shrink my gut, they can't stop the clock. At some point I'm going to have to embrace a new way of looking at myself, or wind up old, bitter, and diminished.

How do I go about doing that? Any real-life success stories to share about aging gracefully?

[hadespussercats]

Jeez, it doesn't have to be that profound. I'm just talking about a vague sense of monotony, and looking for ways to spice up the next few decades. My younger years were good but I don't look back on them much - I'm just interested in hearing how people handle the "cruise control" stage of the life (if they've found themselves in one) without getting too bored. In my case, life's not bad but it's all the same for the forseeable future; establishing a career, getting married, having kids, etc... all that's done, and now life all seems to be about maintaining that stuff until it's time to retire. It doesn't provoke terror or despair, just some dullness. When food becomes dull, it needs some spice.

Maybe learn something new and awesome? Learn how to shred an electric guitar, or how to do fine marquetry woodwork? Or... Something that might take time to get good at, that you've always wanted to know how to do.

Or, wait. Shit. Do something really scary and try to sell your screenplay. For real.

[amused]

"Refuse to tip toe through life merely so you can arrive safely at death."

One of the most-heard death-bed regrets is - I should have taken more chances.

[Ian]

Maybe learn something new and awesome? Learn how to shred an electric guitar, or how to do fine marquetry woodwork? Or... Something that might take time to get good at, that you've always wanted to know how to do.

Or, wait. Shit. Do something really scary and try to sell your screenplay. For real.

Thanks for reminding me!

Actually, it's a novel, not a screenplay. Because I have no idea how to write a screenplay. And I figure I can always publish a novel and have it read even if the movie studios tell me the novel sucks and they don't want to develop it.

I'm sorta stuck on one point. If I can get past it, writing through the rest should be a breeze.

And writing a novel-turned-blockbuster-movie would be a great way to cure the mid-life doldrums. Think of all the escort girls I could buy!
Just kidding.

[Kristie]

Maybe learn something new and awesome? Learn how to shred an electric guitar, or how to do fine marquetry woodwork? Or... Something that might take time to get good at, that you've always wanted to know how to do.

Or, wait. Shit. Do something really scary and try to sell your screenplay. For real.

Thanks for reminding me!

Actually, it's a novel, not a screenplay. Because I have no idea how to write a screenplay. And I figure I can always publish a novel and have it read even if the movie studios tell me the novel sucks and they don't want to develop it.

I'm sorta stuck on one point. If I can get past it, writing through the rest should be a breeze.

And writing a novel-turned-blockbuster-movie would be a great way to cure the mid-life doldrums. Think of all the escort girls I could buy!
Just kidding.

Think of all the meets you could sponsor!

[Ian]

Going to a good-sized meet sounds like a great way to make a happy Ian.

Especially if you're there.

[Kristie]

Going to a good-sized meet sounds like a great way to make a happy Ian.

Especially if you're there.

I've pretty much decided that damn near nothing will keep me from attending! It would take a really sick kid or something horrible like that.

[Svartalf]

So getcherself published ya twit...

Me, I can't write 3 pages without deciding it's crap and deleting it

[Kristie]

"Refuse to tip toe through life merely so you can arrive safely at death."

One of the most-heard death-bed regrets is - I should have taken more chances.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I've pretty much decided that damn near nothing will keep me from attending! It would take a really sick kid or something horrible like that.

Carpe Ratzim!

[Audley Strange]

Jeez, it doesn't have to be that profound. I'm just talking about a vague sense of monotony, and looking for ways to spice up the next few decades. My younger years were good but I don't look back on them much - I'm just interested in hearing how people handle the "cruise control" stage of the life (if they've found themselves in one) without getting too bored. In my case, life's not bad but it's all the same for the forseeable future; establishing a career, getting married, having kids, etc... all that's done, and now life all seems to be about maintaining that stuff until it's time to retire. It doesn't provoke terror or despair, just some dullness. When food becomes dull, it needs some spice.

Oh right, fair enough. Take up a hobby, go travelling, pick a bunch of different things to do every weekend, some you fancy some you don't, but all potentially entertaining and then roll a dice. Set fun goals for yourself. "This week I'm going to annoy a Scientologist..." that sort of thing. Above all, have a laugh.

[Gallstones]

My friends just stopped by-- they're expecting their first baby in June. They're about the same age, in similar fields of work to J and me, live in Brooklyn.

It was lovely to see them, and fun to share new parent stories with people who are genuinely interested. But I caught a glance or two that were clearly sussing out how pregnancy/new motherhood have changed me, a sense of "Is that what I'm in for?" I've started taking steps to feel better about my body-- running, not eating like a freak.

But while diet and exercise might shrink my gut, they can't stop the clock. At some point I'm going to have to embrace a new way of looking at myself, or wind up old, bitter, and diminished.

How do I go about doing that? Any real-life success stories to share about aging gracefully?

I have no cartilage in my knees and numerous ligament injuries have made them loose and kind of racked. I deal with it by exercising as my orthopod told me to do, I wear a hinged support and take ibuprofen. Some mornings I get up stiff and walk like Grandpa McCoy until things warm up. But I still walk instead of drive, miles with a back pack, I started kick boxing three weeks ago, I play racketball--I'll play just about anything--I eat sensibly and indulge a little. I am as fit today as I was 19 years ago before my son was born. Pregnancy took it's toll, and except for the knees I was able to come back and reclaim the level of fitness I had before.

Stanley thinks I look good and I feel good in my clothes.

The only other improvement I would like to make is more weight training to put on more upper body muscle. There is no reason why I can't be successful with that too.

You go about doing that by doing it. No magic, no fancy method, no shortcuts.
Find what you like and do that.

I take classes in those things that interest me like guitar, and printmaking and German.

My son has been the man of the house all this time because his father didn't want to be a father.
And now Stanley will be the man of the house. The love of my life who I met 32 years ago and found again.
Shit happens, and much of it can be really good shit.

FYI, those 18 years flew by.

[Bella Fortuna]

Gallstones... that's so nice.