Mid-life crises

[Ian]

The idea of experiencing a mid-life crisis is a subject that evokes a great deal of subjective interpretation. Not everyone experiences anything of the sort, and for those that do it feels differently for some than others, and some deal with it very differently than others.

So why am I bringing this up? No specific personal reason, other than some vague feelings about what I'm doing with my life, and some thoughts that keep running through my head lately. Basically, I'm in my late 30s and I've accomplished pretty much everything I set out to accomplish when I was young (although I can't point to exactly when or why I decided to do everything as I've done it) and it's occurred to me that I don't spend a whole lot of time any more enjoying my own life. Some people might call that last bit the drawbacks of being a parent, but I think there's more to it than that. Anyway, I hope to articulate these thoughts better in the course of this thread, but I don't want to start off with a rambling soliloquy about the state of my life. Overall, I'm not unhappy, just "hanging on in quiet desperation" as the years seem to go by faster and faster. Maybe some other Ratz can relate.

BTW - I'm posting this in the "serious discussion" section because I'm hoping for at least a few insightful replies and anecdotes (and I know I might not get that much if I put this in The Pub). But humor is definitely warranted on this matter, and I more than welcome jokes about Porsches, 19-yr old mistresses, etc.

[Bella Fortuna]

Um.... lie?

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I transitioned from the Navy to civilian life at 38. From a full time job to the situation that I could do anything I wanted, and that working was not something I wanted to do. I took a couple of years to decide I wanted to go to college, but after that I knew I had found my ideal environment. Out of curiosity I did some actual work, at State Farm, but in the end I went back to school.

[anna09]

When my husband was 38 he got a 20 year-old wife.

[Schneibster]

I stopped tolerating chickenshit.

[Ian]

When my husband was 38 he got a 20 year-old wife.

[Schneibster]

♩You're gonna get in trou-ble ♬

[Svartalf]

I started on a seriously depressive path when I turned 30. Of course, I did not notice if getting too close to 40 did anything special because I was already so deep down I would not have noticed the difference.

[Rum]

I am getting on now and fit the 'old' rather then middle aged category. Any middle life crisis I might have had could or should have happened 20 odd years ago. But it didn't. Oddly the hell I went through mentally in my 20s and the resulting mindset had some preventive effect or left me at any rate with a world view that was already pretty fatalistic. Basically I entered my thirties with a real sense of the futility of ambition, the pointlessness of aspiration and the vanity of achievement. I didn't have any goals, few beliefs and values and when I did reach my 40s I didn't suffer any sense either that I had not achieved things I had hoped to, or that there was some better life I should set course upon.

I have never believed in what I did as a career (though I cared enough when doing it) and I have always been cynical (in the true sense of the word) about life, so that kind of immunizes you. Or else gives you a very very long lifetime crisis rather than mid-life.

[Animavore]

Don't worry, I've been going through a midlife crisis since I was 16.

[Kristie]

and it's occurred to me that I don't spend a whole lot of time any more enjoying my own life. Some people might call that last bit the drawbacks of being a parent, but I think there's more to it than that. Anyway, I hope to articulate these thoughts better in the course of this thread, but I don't want to start off with a rambling soliloquy about the state of my life. Overall, I'm not unhappy, just "hanging on in quiet desperation" as the years seem to go by faster and faster.

I can certainly understand how you feel about this part. I'm not as old as you, but I did start a family, get married, buy a home, all the crap in my very early 20's. I now feel like a 40 year old housewife. I think that's a big part of why my relationship with Tigger was so special. I wasn't a wife, mother, cook, maid....I was just Kristie. A woman, sexual, real, emotional, and I felt that those were all things that the woman I appears to be had lost. It's amazing how one person can make you feel so alive, so comfortable with yourself. Sorry, Ian. Guess you should've had an affair with Tigger.

[hadespussercats]

I just recently hit "Officially Not Young"-- or something like that. I'm a ma'am, not a miss.

And the past few years, with career, I'd say shifts, but it's more like halts, and my health problems, have left me fishing for self-definition.
I used to be defined by my work. I don't know what that is, anymore.

Thank the universe for the Sprog! He's brought love and purpose into my life.

Still, I don't want to saddle him with a mother who needs him to define her or give her life meaning.

Oh. And I am also fat. Well, tubby. Which doesn't help the self-esteem drop of ma'amification.

So... yeah. Mid-life.

[Bella Fortuna]

I wanna stick it to the ma'am! I don't care that I'm stretch-marked, wrinkled, and grey. I refuse to act like a ma'am!

[Kristie]

I wanna stick it to the ma'am! I don't care that I'm stretch-marked, wrinkled, and grey. I refuse to act like a ma'am!

You wear your stretch marks, grey hair and wrinkles with beauty and poise. In 10 more years, I can only hope to look as good as you. Not that I see any grey hairs or wrinkles.

[hadespussercats]

I wanna stick it to the ma'am! I don't care that I'm stretch-marked, wrinkled, and grey. I refuse to act like a ma'am!

The only time I want to be called ma'am is if I'm wearing black leather and holding a whip.