Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post Reply
User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 13784
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: philobarbaros
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:01 pm

Florida Man, Thinking He Hears a Home Intruder, Shoots and Kills His Pregnant Wife: 'My Life is Over'
This is one those accidental shootings I was talking about. I know it seems cruel to doubt, but you don't accidentally shoot your wife because you heard an intruder. It doesn't make sense.
The primary product of pine is pineapple.

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 65892
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by JimC » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:23 pm

My life with my wife is over.

My life with my secretary is just beginning... :tea:
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Sean Hayden
Microagressor
Posts: 13784
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:55 pm
About me: philobarbaros
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Sean Hayden » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:26 pm

:hehe:
The primary product of pine is pineapple.

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 19514
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by laklak » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:29 pm

Didn't work for Oscar Pistorius.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
Animavore
Nasty Hombre
Posts: 39027
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:26 am
Location: Ire Land.
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Animavore » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:33 pm

Man shoots doctor after ejaculating during prostate exam
https://www.web24.news/u/2020/09/man-sh ... -exam.html

How did this get by?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.

User avatar
laklak
Posts: 19514
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:07 pm
About me: My preferred pronoun is "Massah"
Location: Tannhauser Gate
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by laklak » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:24 pm

Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

User avatar
Animavore
Nasty Hombre
Posts: 39027
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:26 am
Location: Ire Land.
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Animavore » Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:47 pm

When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 34730
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: Something something birds
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Tero » Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:32 pm

Here you go
3D2D72AA-7E45-4388-8F62-BF83E0EAD375.jpeg
3D2D72AA-7E45-4388-8F62-BF83E0EAD375.jpeg (104.89 KiB) Viewed 154 times

User avatar
Svartalf
Offensive Grail Keeper
Posts: 36147
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:42 pm
Location: Paris France
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Svartalf » Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:43 pm

laklak wrote:
Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:24 pm
Damn, my urologist never gives me a prostate massage.
He knows you'd bite his nose off.
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

PC stands for "Patronizing Cocksucker" Randy Ping

User avatar
Svartalf
Offensive Grail Keeper
Posts: 36147
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:42 pm
Location: Paris France
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Svartalf » Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:46 pm

Animavore wrote:
Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:47 pm
When I was a child we had "Kerryman" jokes. Like, "What's a Kerryman's latest invention?"
"An underwater hairdryer."
The implication being that Kerry was the butt-end of Ireland and being referred to as a Kerryman meant you were a bit of a thicko.
When I got older I realised that the Brits had the exact same jokes except they were "Irishman" jokes. I soon realised that Ireland was the Kerry of Europe.

Given Florida is the Kerry of the US, what's Florida's Kerry?
the bayou.


and how do you know a kerryman is going to a weddiing?



waxed wellies.
Embrace the Darkness, it needs a hug

PC stands for "Patronizing Cocksucker" Randy Ping

User avatar
Tero
Just saying
Posts: 34730
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:50 pm
About me: Something something birds
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Tero » Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:07 pm

Trailerpark.

User avatar
Scot Dutchy
Posts: 15390
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:07 pm
About me: Dijkbeschermer
Location: 's-Gravenhage, Nederland
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Scot Dutchy » Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:13 pm

Well known to certain members.
"Wat is het een gezellig boel hier".

User avatar
Seabass
Posts: 5664
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:32 pm
About me: Antifa Provocateur
Location: Covidiocracy
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Seabass » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:29 am

In a dramatic encounter recorded by surveillance cameras, a Florida man chased an alligator under water and rescued his 3-month-old puppy from the jaws of death.

Richard Wilbanks, 74, of Estero ran into his backyard pond, wrestled the gator above surface, and pried its jaws open to free Gunner, his Cavalier King Charles spaniel.

"We were just out walking by the pond," Wilbanks told CNN, "and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick."

He said adrenaline or instinct kicked in, and "I just automatically jumped into the water."

Holding the alligator wasn't so tough, but prying open the jaws was "extremely hard," he said.

Wilbanks said his hands were "chewed up," and he went to a doctor for a tetanus shot.

Gunner had one puncture wound in his belly and did fine after a trip to the veterinarian's office.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/21/us/puppy ... index.html
"No, no, no, not God bless America. God damn America!" —Reverend Jeremiah Wright

User avatar
JimC
The sentimental bloke
Posts: 65892
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:58 am
About me: To be serious about gin requires years of dedicated research.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by JimC » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:08 am

Man is a dog's best friend...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!

User avatar
Seabass
Posts: 5664
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:32 pm
About me: Antifa Provocateur
Location: Covidiocracy
Contact:

Re: Meanwhile, in Florida...

Post by Seabass » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:16 am

JimC wrote:
Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:08 am
Florida Man is a dog's best friend...
:fix:
"No, no, no, not God bless America. God damn America!" —Reverend Jeremiah Wright

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests