Local news...not The Onion

[Svartalf]

I thought natural selection was supposed to take care of people that dumb

[Tero]

Customer "solves" conspiracy with gun.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/16/us/ohio- ... index.html

[Tero]

Lincoln man pleads not guilty to writing bad checks for kangaroos and alpaca
https://www.klkntv.com/lincoln-man-plea ... nd-alpaca/

[Tero]

Even if the gun did not work, he had a mace. Or he beats dogs with it.

LINCOLN, Neb. (KOLN) - A man is behind bars after Lincoln Police seized several grams of
meth along with a gun and a medieval weapon.

Jack Cain, 56, faces a slew of charges which include theft, meth possession and five weapons violations. On top of the new charges, jail records show Cain was wanted on five warrants, most of which include offenses against dogs.

On Friday, two officers were out on patrol and spotted a 2015 Ford Escape parked at the U-Stop near 13th and South streets. An officer ran the plates and found that the car was stolen out of Greenwood.

They approached the vehicle and ordered Cain out of the vehicle. He didn’t comply, and the officer eventually had to pull a firearm and a baton before he finally got out, court records show.
After a brief struggle, Cain was taken into custody. Further investigation showed that Cain was wanted on five warrants.

A search of the vehicle turned up 19.1 grams of suspected methamphetamine between four bags as well as a scale. Officers also seized a Hi-Point .45 caliber pistol with nine bullets in its magazine, according to an arrest affidavit.

Police said a four-inch switchblade and a garrote were then located, as well as a morningstar — a medieval mace with a spiked ball attached to a 33-inch handle via a chain.

Cain is a convicted felon, police wrote, which prohibits him from possessing deadly weapons.

[Tero]

Why do they bother to show up at police station after being scammed?
"Houchin said the woman withdrew $11,800 from her checking account and deposited it into a Bitcoin ATM as instructed. The caller then gave her a QR code that allowed him to get the money. That was the last time she heard from the man."
https://www.1011now.com/2024/05/23/lanc ... utType=amp

[Tero]

Never hang out at strip club parking lot at 2AM
https://www.1011now.com/2024/05/28/susp ... ted-omaha/

[Tero]

Traffic light is out and modern drivers have no clue what it means.
https://www.klkntv.com/two-vehicles-col ... olice-say/

[Tero]

Steal car, credit card, then use credit card, get photo taken and...
According to Crime Stoppers, on May 9, a Jeep Gladiator was stolen overnight from the area of South 1st Street and West Denton Road.

Lincoln Police said they are looking for a woman (pictured above) who was captured on camera after the theft, using the victim’s credit card left inside the Jeep.
https://www.1011now.com/2024/06/05/crim ... /?tbref=hp

[Tero]

Man sells marijuana in parking lot. Gets killed.
https://www.klkntv.com/victim-identifie ... rking-lot/

[Tero]

Meth driver samples meth. While driving.
https://www.1011now.com/2024/08/25/troo ... ffic-stop/

[Tero]

When someome asks you to play russian roulette...
https://www.1011now.com/2024/08/26/man- ... /?tbref=hp
...you take the gun and
....shoot them. Otherwise it goes like above.

[Tero]

State's biggest feed lot is in empty corner by Colorado.
https://nebraskaexaminer.com/2024/09/03 ... his-month/

“There’s no precedence for this (Blackshirt Feeders) in Nebraska. It’s a wing and prayer, it really is,” said Jonathan Leo, an Omaha-based lawyer who specializes in environmental issues.
Massive amounts of manure

Behlke said the operation has contracts with local farmers to spread the manure as fertilizer. The waste will be used to produce and sell methane when the digesters are operational, which will be put in operation later when there will be enough volume to make them workable.

No mention of how far the slaughter house is. There are several giant ones South of it in Kansas.

[Tero]

Three cars crash. Only the bad driver died.
https://www.1011now.com/2024/10/26/thre ... kills-one/

[Tero]

he's going to need that medical marijuana we may have passed (stuck in courts)

LINCOLN, Neb. (KOLN) - A 16-year-old was taken into custody after they reportedly pointed a gun at a passerby in downtown Lincoln on Friday.

According to Lincoln Police, officers were dispatched to the area of 14 and O streets on

reports of an individual driving around the area in a red pickup pointing a gun at the hot dog vendor.

LPD officers, with the assistance of UNLPD officers, located the pickup and were able to identify the driver and suspect as a 16 year old male. LPD said the suspect engaged in a verbal altercation with the vendor where he then pointed a handgun at him before driving away northbound.

LPD said a search of the pickup led officers to find two handguns concealed in the vehicle. He was also determined to be under the influence.
The 16-year-old was lodged in the YAC and referred and released on a multitude of charges.

The 16-year-old was charged for terroristic threats, use of a firearm to commit a felony, possession of a firearm on school grounds, carrying a concealed handgun under the influence, minor in possession, possession of an open alcohol container, use of tobacco, and possession of marijuana.

[JimC]

How disgraceful! He used tobacco!