"We're going to need a bigger boat."

"Kneel suckers."

"Thanks for making this thread super-gay."

"Thanks for the info!"




"I'm only smiling because I'm plotting your death, my dear.
More coffee?"

"Chocolate in the morning is what makes moms get
through their day."

"A day without chocolate is a day without sunshine."

"Don't send me roses, unless they are chocolate."

"Everyone has a price, mine is chocolate."

"I like my men the way I like my coffee...
ground up and in the freezer."

"Will that be one lump or arsenic or two?"

"I'll eat anything as long as it's chocolate."

"Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can."

"If only men were as satisfying as chocolate."

"There's a skinny person inside me crying to get out.
I usually shut the bitch up with chocolate."

"I put some instant coffee into the microwave,
and almost went back in time. "



"There is more to life than chocolate, but not right now."

"Chocolate, breakfast of champions."

"What would Jesus brew?"

"Coffee keeps me from killing you."

"Hellow, my name is Coffee Slut."

"Give us this day our daily brew."






"There are four basic food groups."


"I could give up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter."

"Good morning, my @ss, where's my #@&% coffee?"

"Chocolate, here today . . .  gone today!"

"Meet me at my local house of worship."

"One more pot and I can FLY!"

"I'm barely human without my coffee."

"Latte is Italian for you paid too much."




"All the coffee in Columbia couldn't make me a morning person."

"My blood type is coffee"


"All I really need is love, but a little chocolate
now and then doesn't hurt."

"No woman will ever be satisfied, because no man
will ever have  chocolate penis that shoots out money." 

"Life is like chocolate, sometimes you gotta deal with nuts."

"Give us this day, our daily brew."





"Stimulants from Columbia."

"Coffee has two virtues: it's wet and it's warm."



"Chocolate, too much is just enough."





"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."

"Those who live by the sword . . . get shot by those who don't."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

"Gun control is being able to hit your target!"

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"It's not P.M.S. - it's Y.O.U."

"They broke the mold before they made you."

"Drinking has a me problem."

"I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce."


"100% Bootylicious."

"This virtual coupon is good for one free naughty strip tease!"

"This virtual coupon is good for one free day of slaving for you."

"This virtual coupon is good for one free sleepover (in my bed)."

"This virtual coupon is good for one free cheesy pick-up line."

"This virtual coupon is good for one free act of your choice."

"This virtual coupon is good for one free romantic night out."

"Have a fabulous day, sexy!"

"There's no "I" in slut, but there is a "U"."

"Everyone has a right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused it."

"Yes, I'm a bitch. Just not yours."

"You go girl! And don't come back."

"A fool and his money are a girl's best friend."

"Abivalent? Well, yes and no."


"Nice face! Want a gun?"

"Too bad stupidity isn't painful."

"Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control."

"Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't."

"You are crazier than a soup sandwich."

"Have a sexy day."

"Your face, my butt . . . see the resemblance?"

"I'm not your type, I"m not inflatable."

"To do list: Wash my balls, stroke it, put it in the hole"

"Coffee, chocolate, men, some things are just better rich."

"I'm not a gynecologist, but I can take a look. "

"I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth."

"Stupitidy is no a crime, so you're free to go."


"And your cry baby whiny assed opinon would be?"

"All day I thought of you. I was at the zoo."

"Will that be one lump of arsenic or two?"

"I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works!"

"Life is good . . . try to get one!"

"I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!"

"I'm busy, can I ignore you some other time?"

"Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage."

"To err is human. To arr is priate."

"At your service."

"Confucius say: Baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk."

"You've been hit by a beer truck."

"I could blame it on PMS, but I'm really just a bitch."

"Bring it on!"

"Can you say drama? Of course you can, it's your middle name."

"Cluepon. This valuable cluepon may be used to redeem yourself in the eyes of the presenter."

"Have a beautiful day."

"A little birdie told me you're a dumbass."

"Can I be your lollipop?"

"Bringing some love to your page."

"Don't make me go all crazy white girl on you!"

"Warning: Bitch covered bitch with a creamy bitch filling."

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems."

"Do Not Disturb . . . I'm disturbed enough already."

"So freakin' sexy."

"Warning: 51% Angel, 49% Bitch. Don't push it!"

"If I gave a shit, you'd the first to get it."

"Wanna feel my warm apple pie?"

"The Evolution of Man and Woman."

"Just sending u a note to say . . . I love you."

"If I throw a stick, will you go away? "

"God is busy. May I help you?"

"Is this going anywhere? Or will I be jerking off later?"

"Here I am! Now, what are your other two wishes?"

"Hey, sexy."

"I bitch, therefore I am."

"I like cats too! Wanna trade recipes?"

"You've got me all tied up. Now what are you going to do with me?"

"The last thing I want to do is insult you, but it's on the list."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. "

"I see you're playing stupid again. And winning, as usual."

"Shut up, bitch."

"Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded, bigoted asshole!"

"Just Do Me."

"Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested."

"I wish I could help you, but I've misplaced my magic wand."

"You never mattered anyway."

"The best way to change a man's mind . . . is with a ROCK."

"All men are animals . . . Some just make better pets!"

"Not tonight dear . . . I have a modem."

"Are you into casual sex? Or shoul I dress up?"

"That's MISTER Asshole to you, buddy."

"CHAOS, PANIC, DISORDER. My work here is done."


"When I'm good, I'm really good. When I'm bad, you love it!"

"I'm not really a bitch, I just play one in your life."

"OPTIMISTIC, even in the face of reality."

"I make preachers cuss."

"Guys are like roses, watch out for the pricks."

"Warning! This much sexiness may cause your computer to explode."

"MILF Alert! Were you this fine before your kids too?"

"Trying to give a damn. Sorry, I don't think its going to happen! Too much effort needed!"

"WOW alert!"

"Don't make me go psycho-bitch on your annoying ass."

"Can I borrow your head for my rock garden?"

"Sassy love."

"Sensuous love."

"Enchanting To cast a spell over: bewitch."

"Showing love."

"Stopping by to rock your pace with some mad love. "

"Opp's, I just dropped some love on your page."

"Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep shit."

"I'd smack you, but shit splatters."

"I want to put my ... inside your ... and then spank your ... (Please tell me you have a giraffe.) "

"Dumb man climb tree to get cherry. Wise man spread limbs."

"I started out with nothing & still have most of it left."

"I'm drunk. Why are you still ugly?"

"I need more money, more power, and less SHIT from stupid people like you."

"Sorry, it's not MY job to blow SUNSHINE up your ass!"

"Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose."

"One of us is thinking about sex . . . OK, it's me."

"Babe In Total Control of Herself."

"You ugly people are real nice . . . but you gotta go!"

"I love you so much."

"I'm busy, you're ugly. Have a nice day."

"Wanna play with my ball?"

"I taste so good you'll want the recipe."

"I'm the person your mother warned you about."

"When men stop being assholes, I'll stop being a bitch."

"Can you guess which finger I'm holding up?"

"Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."

"World class jerk."


"You say you hate drama, but you create drama."

"You suck."

"Adult mutant ninja turtles"

"Bush, like a rock, only dumber."

"They call him W so he can spell it."

"Center for Kids who can't read good . . ."

"If you don't talk to them about catnip, who will?"

"Choose wisely"

"Void where prohibited. (Bill of Rights.)"

"I'm not cynical, everything just sucks."

"Never drink and derive."

"Dyslexics are teople poot."

"Empire Urban Regeneration Program."

"The Evolution of Rock."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . . and spiders."

"FEMA: Fix everything my ass."

"I'm not fluent in idiot, could you please speak more slowly."

"Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now."

"Hot! Grill on Grill action."

"Partnership for an idiot free America."

"I kissed a girl, and I liked it."

"I'll be Bach."

"Also available in sober."

"First Iraq, now France."

"It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either."

"Knowing is half the battle. The other half is violence."


"My heart beats for you."


"Mixed Martial Arts . . . and Crafts"

"My butt hurts." "What?"

"My other ride is your mom."

"Already against the next war."

"Join the Marines"

"PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals."

"Get Real." "Be Rational."

"Pirate Encyclopedia."

"Pissing off the whole planet, one person at a time."

"With our powers combined, we are  . . .  Platypus"

"Problem solved."


"If you can read this, you are NOT the president."

"Stop repeat offenders, Don't re-elect them. "

"Sarcasm is just one more free service we offer."

"South Carolina. They don't call it a shotgun wedding for nothin'. "


"Arguwing with you is like running a race in the Special Olympics."

"Strangers have the best candy."

"Their symbol is a jackass. Any questions."

"Take to bed or lose me forever."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"I'm already vizualizing you with duct tape over your mouth."

"Born free, taxed to death."


"In the United States, anybody can be president. That's the problem. "








"Good night, bed bugs"

"Hell's librarian"


"You've been a bad girl"

"Bullshit detector"

"Power hands"

"Before/After 6 beers"

"Roswell FRA Uranus"

"Gotta be good if you want my cookie"


"Ikea Jesus"

"Is it can be hugs tiem now plees?"

"Gingerbread love"

"I love the night"

"One doe not simply walk into mordor"

"No sex causes bad eyes"

"Trying to give a damn"

"FRA playground. No adults allowed."

"It's another fruitcake from your Aunt Louise"

"Millie feeds squirrels"

"The Kid"


"Dreaming of you makes my night worth while"

"Riding the bomb down"



"You remind me a lot of my next girlfriend."

"Oh my."

"Shovel snow"

"The Paranoid Android"

"Raise a little cane"

"Pull my finger"

"Rationaliz. We is the summit"

"Room meld"

"You understand"

"Teddy suicide"

"Santa line dance"

"Shoveling snow"

"Love is so powerful because"

The Attic WMV.



"And she yells at me for sucking my thumb."

"The toys in the attic."