https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/b ... 13941.htmlA 15-year-old from Chesterfield has awoken from a nine-day coma swearing prolifically and eating whole wheels of cheese.
Doctors were forced to put Kai Thomas in a coma while he recovered from a brain bleed last year, and though he eventually regained the ability to move and speak he was left with two bizarre side effects (also ones I experience from time to time when drunk).
"He's addicted to cheese and he can't stop swearing," his mum Tracey told the Daily Mail.
She first noticed his penchant for dairy and profanity when his speech started to come back.
"One day I was in the kitchen, when I heard Kai yelling in his bedroom," she added.
"He was screaming 'F*ck, bastard, sh*t'. I wondered what on earth was going on - the expletives were coming thick and fast."
She headed upstairs and found her son chowing down on a wheel of cheese. She's since noticed more of it going missing from the fridge.
"He had always liked cheese but now he was obsessed with it - he even added it to his cereal," Mrs Thomas said.
Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
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Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Shit, he's channeling me.
Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Boy needs to join Rationalia...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
And my gin!
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
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"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.
"The Western world is fucking awesome because of mostly white men" - DaveDodo007.
"Socialized medicine is just exactly as morally defensible as gassing and cooking Jews" - Seth. Yes, he really did say that..
"Seth you are a boon to this community" - Cunt.
"I am seriously thinking of going on a spree killing" - Svartalf.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
If I didn't have the link to a serious medium, I'd swear this was from the onion...
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Lovely cunting Brie fuckit!
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
I'm more interested in harder cheeses, or goat.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Fucking goat bastard!
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
And my gin!
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11!1!!
He'd gobble our entire stash of cheese up in no time!
Our bacon stocks may be safe, though, so there's that.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
A situation that needs to be treated Caerphilly, lest he become attracted to Stinking Bishop.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
...and to think it all began with a wedge of Edam. 
What will the world be like after its ruler is removed?
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Its emmental dear Watson. This thread if full of holes!
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
Whey too obvious.
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
He sounds rather mature for his age, but I guess you have to take the gouda with the bad.
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Clinton Huxley » 21 Jun 2012 » 14:10:36 GMT
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Re: Boy awakes from coma addicted to cheese and swearing
One would have to say to his Dad "hard cheese, old chap"...
Nurse, where the fuck's my cardigan?
And my gin!
And my gin!
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