Talking to a 15 year old about the BS of religion.

[NH8984]

My cousin just turned 15 this year. She just started high school a few days ago. As far as I know, she is a christian. Her mother is a christian, but not a very strict one. I don't think her family has been to church in years, although my mother is a "good" christian and she doesn't go to church either. My aunt is one of those people who says things like "you shouldn't do/say that because god is always watching!!1" She even attempts to interpret my dreams as signs from god when I post them in detail on facebook. I don't mind her doing that, it can be a little entertaining at times, but I worry that my cousin is just sort of along for the ride and she will never have the opportunity to think freely. She is very shy in public but a bit of a brat in private (and sometimes in public). She doesn't seem to look up to me the way I did to my cousins when I was little. I would follow my cousin Andrew around everywhere because he was so much cooler than anyone I know. I'm pretty sure my little cousin thinks I'm a nerd and therefore rejects most of the ideas I make public. I really want to ask her just what she thinks of god, religion and what it means to be a christian. I know she falls into the stereotypical 15 year old, which drives me fuckin' crazy, but she's a smart girl and I believe if she had someone to introduce to her a new way of thinking, she would be able to make up her own mind instead of just listening to what her mother and my mother think. I know she tells her mother everything, at least she used to, and I can just imagine my aunt scolding me and my own mother telling me what a terrible influence I am trying to turn her to the dark side What's weird is that our grandfather is an atheist (a bit of a racist too, but I suppose that just comes with the era in which is was born) and our uncle has never been interested in religion. Any advice on how I can go about discussing science, evolution, fact and the bullshit that is christianity?

[Bella Fortuna]

Leave this lying where she can see it, it looks to be smart-arsed enough to earn any teenager's respect and emulation.

http://www.amazon.com/God-Hates-Hate-Ba ... 248&sr=8-1

[anna09]

It doesn't sound like you two are all that close so it might not be worth a "sit-down" (at least not now). To be honest, she probably wouldn't be too interested in the subject and you might just end up sounding a bit preachy. You could maybe let her know that she has someone to talk to if she has any questions or if it does eventually spark her interest.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Sign her up here.

[NH8984]

At 15 years old, if I saw that, I would have thought the devil was in the room and trying to turn me evil. I also would have assumed I was going to die that night and go straight to hell for even looking at it. While I don't think her dad has even been remotely close to delving as deeply into christianity as my own dad did, our mothers are exactly the same. My dad became obsessed with other world religions and government conspiracies so I heard and saw things no child should be exposed to. I don't think my cousin has the same fears about dying and hell that I did, but I do know that our mothers are very simple minded with no desire to learn new things and I can see that in my cousin. She is superficial and not very deep and it only gets worse every time I see her...which is hardly ever. My uncle got a job in Ohio so they moved there over 3 years ago. I never really got a chance to know my cousin as she grew into a little adult. She is a smart girl and rather witty, but I don't think she is smart or brave enough to think about whether or not god exists. Which, if it never crosses her mind, would be fine except I know she is going to be one of those people who uses her faith when it's convenient or to prove some sort of point. She is going to be pro-life because that's what seems right or republican because that's what her parents are and she will always deny the facts of evolution. She is going to be just like me. Fortunately I had intelligent friends and family to encourage me to do my own amount of thinking and researching to make up my own mind. She doesn't have anyone.

[NH8984]

[anna09]

I know you went through a lot with them.

They're not sending her to Jesus Camp like they did you are they?

[NH8984]

No, I don't think my cousin would be interested in making new friends. She's very private. She's not very emotional either. Come to think of it, the only emotion I've ever seen from her is extreme silliness. Otherwise she's.....like a little.....drone

[Geoff]

No, I don't think my cousin would be interested in making new friends. She's very private. She's not very emotional either. Come to think of it, the only emotion I've ever seen from her is extreme silliness. Otherwise she's.....like a little.....drone

Seems to me that any long(ish) conversation about it wouldn't be much use, you'd probably do better with little "sound-bite" comments and/or questions whenever the opportunity arises. Not "put-downs", necessarily, but things to maybe get her to think for herself.

[charlou]

I know you went through a lot with them.

They're not sending her to Jesus Camp like they did you are they?

NH, you were sent to that fucking manipulative atrocity Jesus Camp? I've had my own experiences with fundamentalist christian crap as a child and that ... thing ... brings up all kinds of emotions in me that make it almost impossible to be articulate ... I'm very curious about anyone who has experienced it and their thinking on it ...

Your cousin ... there's no hurry ... maybe try to establish some kind of interaction and relationship first, then you can understand her better, and she you? From there, further discussion on your respective philosphies might more easily develop.

[FBM]

No, I don't think my cousin would be interested in making new friends. She's very private. She's not very emotional either. Come to think of it, the only emotion I've ever seen from her is extreme silliness. Otherwise she's.....like a little.....drone

Seems to me that any long(ish) conversation about it wouldn't be much use, you'd probably do better with little "sound-bite" comments and/or questions whenever the opportunity arises. Not "put-downs", necessarily, but things to maybe get her to think for herself.

Agreed. Something like, "You really believe that?" followed by, "OK, it's your life. Believe whatever makes you feel good." Doesn't encourage argument and might set her to thinking from a different perspective.

[NH8984]

NH, you were sent to that fucking manipulative atrocity Jesus Camp?

Growing up, my parents could never stick to one church. The church I remember spending most time in as a child was probably my favorite. I knew and liked everyone, including the adults. I went to camp every year until I was about 10 and I remember having a blast. We left that church because the pastor cheated on his wife. The next few churches we went to, we never stayed very long so I never got attached to anyone and I only went to camp once in about 5 years. Then when we went to the last church we attended as a family, I went to camp again and the only thing I really remember is feeling out of place. Every time we had chapel in the evening, all the kids would be crying and speaking in tongues or if not that, they would be silent and falling over. I made a friend there who never seemed to fit in either. He was the bad kid, always getting yelled at for being ornery. I related to him. I wanted to be racy and make sexual jokes, but obviously that was not the place to do so. I knew, at least 6 years ago, that I didn't belong there. I always felt weird singing love songs to somebody who wasn't even real. I was offended when the camp staff would yell at us for spending more money at the snack bar during lunch than we did in offerings. I felt like it was my money, I could do with it what I pleased. We weren't allowed to bring CD players for fear we would expose the other campers to secular music. I always took my iPod so I could hide it. My parents wasted so much money sending me to those camps. They were always something like 180 dollars per person. They had volunteer staff take care of the grounds throughout the summer and all the counselors were volunteer so the only thing they really spent money on were utilities and food and I'm sure even a significant amount of that was taken care of by donations from churches. Even we, the campers, had to clean the cabins and cafeteria before we left. Every camp had it's own unique experience. Some were good, most were creepy, all were memorable. I would have SOOO much rather gone to space camp or some sort of science based camp.