So.... Seen Any Good Movies Lately?

[Ronja]

Even I were a Hindu god I would not have enough palms and enough faces for this movie.

That's a good one. I may need to borrow it sometime (though I seriously hope that the need will not arise).

[Animavore]

Even I were a Hindu god I would not have enough palms and enough faces for this movie.

That's a good one. I may need to borrow it sometime (though I seriously hope that the need will not arise).

You'll have to pay me royalties though.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Re the subject line: No, but we saw "Jonah Hex" last night.

[Animavore]

Just watched this.



Anyway, on The Lovely Bones. First of all I need to send my medical bill to Dreamworks to help cover the costs of the care I'll need for the diabetes this film gave me. I'll be lucky if I don't lose my foot.
This is one of the most over-sentimentally, molasses engorged pieces of drivel I have come across in a along time. Seriously! It has ants crawling all over it. The script was taken straight off the back of a Hallmark card.
Funnily this film does have genuine moments of drama and tension but these are all immediately ruined by scenes of vomit inducing slurry from the perspective of our narrator, a girl who has been murdered and watches over her family as they try to cope. I mean this is a film of which the last line is, "I wish you all a long and happy life". If I wanted such schmaltzy pap I'd go to the old folks home and watch the local school perform their choir singing and clap along with them while we eat pink wafers mashed up for us kindly by the nurse with some water.
The film would've done much better without this retch-enticing rot.

Almost.

This film is also one of the most clichéd films I've ever had the misfortune to step in. From the senior boy who our main character fancies before she dies who, "Doesn't know I exist". Yes! She actually said it. At least most other films have the good grace to merely imply it. And it's absolutely typical of the film throughout. No subtlety. Everything is highlighted in great big orange crayon. This guy as well, I should mention, is also ridiculously good looking and knows Shakespeare and is from England.
And then there's the "odd" girl who everyone thinks is weird but "can see things that others can't", y'know, like, ghosts.
Then in the middle of all this you have Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz as the most unconvincing screen couple since the Chuckle Brothers.

In summary: it should be avoided like funny, half-limbless looking people with cowbells over their neck.
If cliché was cancer the private prognosis, the ones the doctors and nurses say behind your back, not the one they tell you, which is actually a good metaphor for this film, is CTD (circling the drain).

[Animavore]

In the beginning there was
only man and nature.
Men came bearing crosses
and drove the heathen
to the fringes of the earth.

And so starts...



The film begins with a warrior slave of the pagans. A mute, one-eyed man who is kept shackled, released only to fight for competition so that chieftains may gamble. Christianity is rising and and a young boy is warned of the "bastards... who eat the flesh and drink the blood of their god" but is assured that, "They only have one god. We have many."
Our silent warrior escapes from his bonds and kills his captives. With nowhere else to turn the boy has no choice but to follow him. They meet a group of Christians who ask them to join them to the Holy Land where they are promised riches and prestige.

After this we are led into a surreal journey. The film is slow-moving and other-worldly. The director has no problem letting the character's emotions and thoughts unfold. He uses the backgrounds to help convey their feelings in bright or grey skies. There is a constant tension maintained throughout, but one that never snaps. Even at moments of sporadic and gruesome violence the action happens so casually that the observer is left accepting that this is just a normal part of life in a more barbaric time. It's not one to get the pulse rising.

The main character, One-Eye, is played by Mads Mikkelsen, who manages to play the part with such intensity and enigmatically despite not saying a single word through the film. In fact, the film has very little in the way of dialogue. It's all about the moments, the non-spoken and the implied.

Not for everyone. Some might think it is too slow. It certainly seemed longer than the mere hour and a half it is. But if you have some spare time, are feeling moody, then this film is perfect to just lay back and let you absorb.

[tattuchu]

Does The Lovely Bones have any redeeming qualities, Ani? It looks like such a great cast. And I like Peter Jackson. Well, his early stuff at least. How could so much talent have gone so wrong?
Would it be worth getting if I bought maybe a used copy really cheap?

Valhalla Rising! I'd forgotten about that one! Just put it in my amazon cart

[Animavore]

Does The Lovely Bones have any redeeming qualities, Ani? It looks like such a great cast. And I like Peter Jackson. Well, his early stuff at least. How could so much talent have gone so wrong?
Would it be worth getting if I bought maybe a used copy really cheap?

Valhalla Rising! I'd forgotten about that one! Just put it in my amazon cart

Yes. Saorise Ronan and Susan Sarandon are great


That's it. That's all I've got.

[Trolldor]

It's a shite book, it'll make an even shiter movie as it's all about fookin' introspection.

[Animavore]

It's a shite book, it'll make an even shiter movie as it's all about fookin' introspection.

It's worse than that. I didn't see any introspection in the film. I don't think films can really convey that. I just saw Peter Jackson wonder what purgatory is like and try to bring it to the screen in CGI. It also had completely sickening lines like, "I'm on that blue horizon between heaven and earth".

What the fuck does that even mean?

[Trolldor]

...she was in heaven in the book, not purgatory, and it was a customised construct.

[Animavore]

...she was in heaven in the book, not purgatory, and it was a customised construct.

Really. That sort of fucks every thing up. The whole point of the film she was in the in-between and couldn't go to heaven until she "let go".
How does the book work?

[Trolldor]

The book was 'letting go' still, but more 'accepting her fate'.
She saw all her loved ones and heaven provided whatever she wanted or needed but she didn't like it cause she wanted to be alive.

I dunno it was a while ago and I didn't much care for it.

[maiforpeace]

Casino Jack - about the Jack Abramoff scandal, with Kevin Spacey playing Jack.

[rachelbean]

I watched this this morning and I really liked it. It has a bad rating/reviews on imdb but I watched it anyway because netflix thought I would enjoy it...and I did. It's actually a very slow and quiet movie for the most part:

[Animavore]

It has a better rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Not for the first time the critics know what they're talking about and your average movie-going couch hogger don't have a clue what they're talking about (I did mention it on the previous page)