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Clinton Huxley
- 19th century monkeybitch.
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by Clinton Huxley » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:40 am
The 5 most important historical events are, without question, the following:-
Battle of Crecy (1346)
Battle of Agincourt (1415)
Battle of Blenheim (1704)
Battle of Trafalgar (1805)
Battle of Waterloo (1815)
The rest is mere fluff in the balance of time.
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Rum
- Absent Minded Processor
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by Rum » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:45 am
Realistically?
The day you were born
The day you first had sex
The day your child(ren) were born
The day a parent dies
The day *you* die.
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FBM
- Ratz' first Gritizen.
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- About me: Skeptic. "Because it does not contend
It is therefore beyond reproach"
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by FBM » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:54 am
Wot? Rome beat Carthage?! Crap. I had 20 on Carthage.
All seriousness aside:
The Buddha's awakening.
The crucifiction (hee hee) of Jeebus
The discovery of antibiotics
The invention of gunpowder
Mohammed's pile of shit 'prophecy'
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it." ~ H. L. Mencken
"We ain't a sharp species. We kill each other over arguments about what happens when you die, then fail to see the fucking irony in that."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion."
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Loki_999
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by Loki_999 » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:39 am
Randydeluxe wrote:1. The big bang.
2. Abiogenesis on earth.
3. The mitochondrial merger.
4. The emergence of photosynthesis.
5. The K-T asteroid impact.
These get my vote, although I would add my birth to the list as everyone should (that is their own birth, not mine specifically, i'm not that important to everyone else... yet!).
FBM wrote:Set him on fire.
Edit: Whatever you do, don't set him on fire. That would be wrong. I just looked it up.
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Animavore
- Nasty Hombre
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by Animavore » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:47 am
Will I be nationalistic and say
The 1916 Rising.
No. Screw nationalism. I'm gonna say:
Marathon becomes
Snickers.
Sliced bread is invented.
Jenna Jameson is thought a lesson.
Man stands on rake.
Pencils have rubbers put on them.
Libertarianism: The belief that out of all the terrible things governments can do, helping people is the absolute worst.
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Trolldor
- Gargling with Nails
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by Trolldor » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:09 am
Monkey kills other monkey, roots roots females.
Monkeys become apeish.
Ape kills other ape, roots females.
Ape becomes humanish.
Humanoid kills other humanoid, roots females.
"The fact is that far more crime and child abuse has been committed by zealots in the name of God, Jesus and Mohammed than has ever been committed in the name of Satan. Many people don't like that statement but few can argue with it."
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klr
- (%gibber(who=klr, what=Leprageek);)
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- About me: The money was just resting in my account.
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by klr » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:48 am
born-again-atheist wrote:Monkey kills other monkey, roots roots females.
Monkeys become apeish.
Ape kills other ape, roots females.
Ape becomes humanish.
Humanoid kills other humanoid, roots females.
Ape uses bone to kill other ape ... cue the music.

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. - Superintendent Chalmers
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed! - Rex Banner
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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Coito ergo sum
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by Coito ergo sum » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:21 pm
nellikin wrote:So when does history start?
With the development of the written word.
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Coito ergo sum
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by Coito ergo sum » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:22 pm
nellikin wrote:So the end of the last ice-age heralding a time of greater primary production and leading to the devlopment of agrarian civilisation - historic event or not?
Not.
It's a prehistoric event.
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Coito ergo sum
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by Coito ergo sum » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:24 pm
Clinton Huxley wrote:The 5 most important historical events are, without question, the following:-
Battle of Crecy (1346)
Battle of Agincourt (1415)
Battle of Blenheim (1704)
Battle of Trafalgar (1805)
Battle of Waterloo (1815)
The rest is mere fluff in the balance of time.
Good ones!
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macdoc
- Twitcher
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by macdoc » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:24 pm
With the development of the written word.
I disagree, oral traditions are just as valid...and many histories are simply codified versions of that anyway...
•••
nellikin wrote:
So the end of the last ice-age heralding a time of greater primary production and leading to the devlopment of agrarian civilisation - historic event or not?
marginal - right in the grey area if cultures like the Inuit survive.
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Coito ergo sum
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by Coito ergo sum » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:25 pm
macdoc wrote:I disagree, oral traditions are just as valid...and many histories are simply codified versions of that anyway...
Prehistoric events are not invalid. They're just prehistoric.
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Trolldor
- Gargling with Nails
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by Trolldor » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:28 pm
You failed to differentiate between Academic "History" and colloquial 'history'. It can refer either to the specifics of recorded history, or the aggregate of all past events.
The light's light is light.
"The fact is that far more crime and child abuse has been committed by zealots in the name of God, Jesus and Mohammed than has ever been committed in the name of Satan. Many people don't like that statement but few can argue with it."
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Xamonas Chegwé
- Bouncer

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I speak 9 languages fluently, one of which other people can also speak.
When backed into a corner, I fit perfectly - having a right-angled arse.
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by Xamonas Chegwé » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:23 pm
History started once I was old enough to observe the world around me - all else is conjecture.

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
House MD
Who needs a meaning anyway, I'd settle anyday for a very fine view.
Sandy Denny
This is the wrong forum for bluffing 
Paco
Yes, yes. But first I need to show you this venomous fish!
Calilasseia
I think we should do whatever Pawiz wants.
Twoflower
Bella squats momentarily then waddles on still peeing, like a horse
Millefleur
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